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Papering over the crackpots

How will they sell the tattered remains of a discarded and discredited rabble?

Now that Stooge McFuck has been consigned to a nosebleed seat on the backbenches from whence to idly speculate on the humiliating turn his miracles have taken and to importune potential post-politics grift it will be interesting to watch how the Tories repackage their unsellable bunko brand as being a credible alternative government.

The thinning of the Tory herd has provided their tattered remnants with an opportunity for renewal, for some introspection on their electoral drubbing, for a dash of humility or contrition as redress for the embarrassment that was that Jesusing, self-regarding calamity DiddleyScott Morrison.

The light shone on their monetising of crises, their turpitude, cronyism, incompetence and mendacity should’ve elicited a profession of regret or apology or perhaps some distancing from the most odious of their spivs. Now that we’ve been spared many of the colourful personalities who’d come to define the character of the L/NP they could’ve dialed back the awful.

Two outstanding examples of the colour that has drained from their ranks are persons of girth Gorgeous George Christensen and Craig Kelly, both having voluntarily left the building – Georgiebuoy to flog RWFW merch and his conspiratorial fucknuttery via his poor man’s Alex Jones social media, while Cray Cray’s status as “our next Prime Minister” has been down-graded to bouncy castle consultant.

Another of my favourites was Eric Abetz. When, like Eric, you have real Nazis in your family tree – great uncle SS Standartenführer Otto and then also Erwin Rommel, an alleged cousin of his maternal grandfather, you’re a sitting duck for innuendo and cheap shots. Who am I to resist such temptation?

If Eric had harboured any ambitions for launching a panzer attack on Stalingrad he kept it fairly quiet; his right wing fuckwittery was kept within the traditional Tory boundaries of racism, homophobia and cutting the wages of lowly-paid Parliament House cleaners. Eric’s appeal to proto-Nazis in the Tory base became redundant once the embaldened Dutton-dressed-as-yam became tuber supreme.

 

From Twitter

 

A broad sweep of other funsters was also lost to the L/NP. They cover a range of personality disorders from a-holes to Zed. Canny share trader Diamond Dave Sharma, blunderkind Joshie Frydenberg, shrubbery lurker Andrew Laming, Red Gladys Liu aka Bimboo (she’s a thick Chinese plant), Mandy-Jane Stoker (somewhere there’s a camel missing its toe), prayer room supplicant Tim Wilson and that tosser Greg ‘Berkeley’ Hunt. Christian Porter the Tory princeling and darling of the born-to-rule set, those entitled types who complain about the bald kids getting priority in the queue at SeaWorld, had his privileged, consequences-free life evaporate as he punched himself in the face with futile lawsuits against those calling him out for the dirtbag that he is. After such a cleanse how have the Tories behaved?

Hint: They’re not taking it well.

 

Cartoon by Alan Moir (moir.com.au)

 

Sulking and public tantrums were on display from the “natural party of government” as the lolly jar was removed from their grasp. Toys were chucked, dummies were spat, fainting couches were deployed. Tory-spruiker talk shows indulged the pouting and shouting from the remaining dross that populates the smoking ruin of the Lying Nasty Party. As if to demonstrate that women can make it in Tory politics provided they are just as egregious as the men the umbrage was led by Holly Hughes, most notable for her pearl necklaces (subliminal messaging as to Holly’s favourite past-time perhaps) and her crusade against the Marxist ideology of the teaching profession and her dismissal of climate change as a “luxury issue”.

 

From the Tory brains trust

 

When confronted with their malfeasance the Tories are capable of embarrassment but not shame. They circle the wagons – obfuscating, quibbling, blame-shifting and projecting albeit while blushing and looking at their shoes. Any regret is only ever at getting caught.

DiddleyScott led the Nasties to new levels of heinous behaviour, clad in his belief he had celestial licence to indulge his megalomania. Can the Nasties change? They won’t. Morrison and his messiah complex may be toxic and while now a figure of derision he moved the dial on acceptable behaviour way beyond norms and conventions. He tested what he could get away with; who knows what he was capable of had he been re-elected. The stench still clings to the shady characters who survived. I doubt that Spud has the inclination, the character or the stones to do anything about it.

 

From https://www.lelievrecartoons.com/

 

 

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

 

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22 comments

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  1. Josephus

    Love this colourful, punning and furious satire .
    God took pity on us at last. The eagle has flown. Oh wait, the Nazis liked eagles too. God moves in mysterious ways….
    Scomo entered politics by claiming a Maronite was a moslem , went on holiday to Hawaii with ‘his girls’ while my friends risked their lives among the roar of funnelling fires. A monkey pox on these Untermenschen.
    .
    Can we breathe again? ICAC now!
    Why is that liar and Jesus freak still in parliament? Let him Cook sham raw curries for his girls. Get thee behind us, NOW.

  2. Paul Smith

    “I believe in miracles” was blasphemy. We all knew it, and now we have proof.

  3. Bert

    GG, maybe you could write a movie script trying to outline what’s happened over the last week or so?

  4. Terence Mills

    Interesting development on Sky-after-dark last night.

    They abandoned DiddleyScott : from Bolt to Murray they turned their backs on him – almost as though they all got the same tweet from Rupert.

    They are still boosting Spudley Dutton as the Messiah but some are seeing him as nothing more that a very naughty boy who also tells lies.

  5. John Millar

    What a magnificent headline (I shall borrow it on relevant occasions). The possible description of the observations as ‘unkind’ to the genetically enhanced leadership party in no way detracts from their accuracy.

  6. Kathryn

    Words cannot describe what an insufferably arrogant, megalomaniacal narcissist Morrison really is! This smug bible-thumping hypocrite and Horizon cultist is not only an obnoxious, self-promoting egotist, it is evident that he is a born-to-rule autocrat with stratospheric delusions of grandeur! Morrison’s appalling, ill-conceived decision to usurp other members of his government, micro-manage our nation and appoint himself as judge and jury over at least five portfolios, goes beyond staggering conceit, it is undemocratic!

    Morrison MUST be held to account for his oppressive level of tyranny; his attempt to stomp on others in order to solely rule over our nation is an act of uncompromising fascism! This type of behaviour should NEVER be overlooked or tolerated! Even his own colleagues are now baying for his blood – and rightly so! Morrison has taken steps that go way, way beyond what is acceptable in our democratic nation – his shocking level of megalomaniacal conceit is downright dangerous and completely undemocratic! Morrison’s tyranny needs to be addressed – he needs to be made to face full responsibility for his behaviour and sacked from government! This unspeakably depraved tyrant is absolutely unfit to park his pretentious behind in the seats of government! When Murdoch-manipulated, shrieking Z-rated shock jocks, like Bolt and Murray, abandon a corrupt, self-serving member of their favoured extremists in the worst, most corrupt regime in our nation’s history, you just KNOW that that subject is on-the-nose and that their halcyon days of being irrationally promoted and protected by the nauseating right-wing media rabble are well and truly over! Morrison has proven himself to be a pathological liar who’s level of arrogance and conceit is so irrational and undeserved, it reveals a sick twisted egotist with severe mental health issues and a level of dictatorial tyranny that needs to be immediately subdued! Morrison must be prosecuted for his level of fascist autocracy!

    There can be NO DOUBT that Morrison is the worst kind of sociopath and every bit as bad as that lying, conniving little war criminal, John Howard, who just happened to be the malignant mentor of two of the worst, most corrupt politicians in our history: Morrison himself and that lying, strutting, swaggering misogynist, Abbott! It is impossible to think of a regime more thoroughly depraved, self-aggrandising, avaricious, elitist and so inherently corrupt as the unspeakably depraved political psychopaths in the LNP!

  7. Keith

    It should not be too much of a surprise Morrison has got himself in trouble.
    He was allegedly sacked from two positions he held in Tourism.
    There is a smell about how he became a candidate for Cook.
    As Immigration Minister he was excessively secretive.
    As PM he appeared to be more concerned about trying to give the ALP a black eye than ruling the country.
    Promised legislation did not happen.
    The LNP have tried to create the myth that they are better economic managers than Labor, the former Morrison “government” well and truly dismantled that myth.

  8. totaram

    “The LNP have tried to create the myth that they are better economic managers than Labor, the former Morrison “government” well and truly dismantled that myth.”

    Not in the eyes of many, as yet. We need to drill it into everyone’s brain for ever and ever, until there is no more chance of the myth being resurrected.

  9. Stephen

    I don’t know how much a ex PM gets in paid and allowances or how much a backbencher is paid but is Scotty getting both and double dipping.

  10. Harry Lime

    As long as Cockhead Morrison remains,perched like the vulture of death, overlooking the wreckage he oversaw,he will be a festering sore on the arse of a barely alive ,
    discredited pile of shit,and especially for Benito,the head maggot.Cook will be another lost seat that the Liar can take the credit for.
    As for Hurley..he can show himself out,along with all the anachronistic trappings of a moribund empire.

  11. GL

    I could see Scummo slowly but surely trying to take over all the portfolios (except maybe The Reichspud department, better to keep him onside) then one day attempt to dissolve parliament and take over as dickheadtator, I mean dictator. Thank Cthulhu that he and LNP had become toxic that they were removed at the election.

    Stephen,

    He gets the measly $212k plus extras a year as a back bencher but will receive the PM level pension along with lots of extra goodies, so well over $300k plus when he quits.

  12. leefe

    He made it blatantly obvious during that press conference, that it was nothing more than a few steps in the journey to an autocratic takeover, when he pointed out that the only ministries he was interested in were those where the ministers had unilateral decision-making powers.
    And i can’t help wondering whether, if he had won the election and taken the next steps, Mudrake would still have backed him. After all, Jan 6th wasn’t enough to turn Rupert off Trump …

  13. Phil Pryor

    This politically perverted pustular peanut poltroon and preposterouis pudicity, Morrison, the maggoty misfit merkin, must go, but, we will never get rid of the shame, embarrassment, disgrace of having the tremendous turd and his accomplices, colleagues, cronies, in office and SHAMING Australia forever. This betrayal of of us all by a bedpan of brownies, stinkers, is beyond a joke.

  14. Harry Lime

    Speaking of unflushable turds,that fucking egregious little C%&*, ‘non core promise’,the Lying Rodent,has bobbed to the surface of the LNP septic tank.He’s defending shithead,he’s for nuclear power,basically trying to stop the remaining turds of his rotten party swirling down the shitter.
    Has someone got a wooden stake? A garlic necklace? I wonder if he realises that most of the current shit is down to HIM.

  15. GL

    On a completely non-political side note: The daily collection of hopping critters that show up each morning outside the back door for the leftover duck seed and pellets has gone from 2 Wallabies and 5 Pademeons to 2 Wallabies, 5 Pademelons and 2 Long-nosed potoroos. I always find it a good way to start the day and finish the evening.

  16. Canguro

    A wooden stake?
    For goodness sake!
    A garlic necklace…
    Not so reckless!

    At midnight creep
    Upon this peep,
    The little turd.
    A man absurd.

    With pointed shaft
    And weighted haft
    To plunge it in,
    From gut to chin…

    Twist the wrist, and do not squirm,
    Kill the wretched little worm,
    No more to voice his poxy views,
    A loss to most will best amuse.

    Thus let’s rejoice
    The rodent’s fate,
    And in one voice,
    To celebrate!

  17. Harry Lime

    Canguro,when can I attend one of your lectures?I’ve always been a fan of Shakespeare.

  18. Ted

    Hurley mimics Captain Blowhard well and lives in the same eco$ystem as Morrison – a pair of useful idiots. Albo seems genuine but is an actor on a set directed by wealthy para$ites. Who set up Morrison/Hurley for the errand they played out? Twats?

  19. Canguro

    As if we needed any further proof of the essential weirdness of the former and now disgraced prime minister, the Guardian this morning has a story on his reaction to the mass of comments appearing on social media.

    “I’m loving these posts,” he writes on Facebook.

    He really is, to say it for the 1000th time, a deeply strange person, sociopathic to the core, and utterly solipsistic.

  20. Terence Mills

    The Liberal Party has trundled out Howard and now Amanda Vanstone to tell us that Morrison did not break the law.

    This is so disingenuous : they know that most parliamentary and constitutional issues and behaviour are governed not by black letter law but by conventions. Without adherence to conventions the Westminster system of government collapses.

    So, many of the rules are neither codified in legislation nor formalised by judicial decisions. These unwritten rules are known as as rules of political morality or conventions : that is what Morrison trashed.

  21. Harry Lime

    When you look at the lineup of pathetic political has beens defending the indefensible,it tells you all you need to know.The only thing between the LNP and the grave is the enabling trash media,whose deceitful messaging is falling on increasingly deaf ears.Not to put too fine a point on it..the ‘broad church’ is burning all it’s pews.

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