Nudge to humans from planet Earth: How many warnings do you lot need?

“Hi Humans. Lately you may have noticed that I have accelerated the melt rate of my Antarctic Glaciers. Lately you may have noticed that I have been experimenting in my lab with the creation of even bigger and better super storms. Lately you may have noticed that I have been expanding my deserts at an ever increasing rate.

I use the term ‘may have noticed’ under decided advisement because it actually appears to me that you have taken no notice at all of my warnings. Well I am running out of patience and I am fast forming the opinion that I need to step in strongly and start protecting myself.

And I’m feeling a little crowded.

Wherever I look there is this huge mass of you human beings waddling about consuming things. Consuming food. Consuming water. Consuming my resources. And at some point there will be so many of you that you will, inevitably, arrive at a point where there will be nothing left of me to consume.

All around the world you, as a species, are gathering up every possible resource to either throw down your gobs, blow out of your exhaust pipes, or feed your insatiable greedy need to have more and more of that nihilistic human philosophy called unlimited economic growth.

Don’t you get it? You are sowing the seeds of your own destruction.

Like a pack of absolute drongos you lot wander along with a startlingly dense belief that you can keep expanding your numbers at exponential rates and that I will always continue on and supply resources to satisfy your ever increasingly voracious maws.

Well guess what? My resources are finite. That word means that your rapacious grazing of my limited resources is ultimately going to come to a screeching halt. At some point things, my things, are going to run out.

Already, on various parts of my being, you are starting to have wars to secure regional hold over things like dwindling water supplies or shrinking amounts of arable land. Already, millions of you are becoming modern day economic nomads as you wash over the borders of neighbouring countries in your quest for any sort of resource to keep yourselves alive.

From my point of view you are like a plague of locusts. You make no real effort to diminish your breeding rates. You keep supporting fossil fuel burning Governments who do not have the intelligence to realise that my day of retribution is coming. You keep wanting more and more and you keep creating more and more of you.

Well I’ve had enough. It is fast approaching the point where I cannot even breathe my own air, I cannot keep my oceans damped down at reasonable levels, and I am less and less inclined to dance along to your merry tune.

So this is my final warning.

Decrease your population growth rates now … there are far too many of you. Your locust swarm, for that is how I see you, is eating me alive.

Stop using fossil fuels now and covert to solar energy capture … period … I went to great efforts to position myself just the right distance from the sun to enable you to do so.

Throw out your Governments who believe that my environment, my resources, are handy cannon fodder for their destructive ‘growth at any cost’ nihilism.

This is your last warning. I’ve had enough!”