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Now Let’s See If There’s A Pattern Here…

Ok, I’m not talking about the pattern where Turnbull says something about the government, then Abbott says that it was all thanks to him and Turnbull says that his government has made immense changes but not too many just the important ones like who’s leader and nobody says anything for a few days and then Abbott bobs up in some foreign country insists to them that he used to be important and takes a selfie.

Recently I read that a couple of senators, independent John Madigan and Coalition MP Chris Back, have called for a moratorium on wind farms until the new studies have concluded.

Mind you, plenty of studies have concluded that there are no verifiable health risks from wind farms, but as with the inquiry into the Safe Schools program, that wasn’t the answer that some people wanted, so it should be shut down until an inquiry comes up with something that helps provide a justification for closing it down permanently.

Of course it’s true that living next to wind farm may cause you stress if you’re stressed about living next to a wind farm – just as living next door to Alice may cause you stress if you’re stressed about living next door to Alice – but when it comes to coal seam gas projects, not only doesn’t your stress matter, the NSW government is passing legislation which makes it an offence to protest. Pity it wasn’t in place before the convoy of no consequence or whatever it was called descended on Canberra to protest the carbon tax. Or something. I forget exactly what they were protesting, but in those days, Liberals seem to think that a protest meant that the government should sit up and take notice.

Something like that. My memory’s a little hazy from all the change… and continuity. Which isn’t a slogan, by the way. As he told us the other day, Turnbull doesn’t use slogans. I’ve heard a rumour that there’s a poster of Turnbull being released for the election campaign with the words: “Liberals: We don’t do slogans”, but I’m not the sort of person who just repeats rumours. Unless they’re really good ones and the source knows somebody who’s heard it from someone who may be credible.

But it’s Chris Back’s position that I’m most intrigued about. Senator Back is often refered to as a climate sceptic and has claimed that he has a better knowledge of such things because he trained as a vet, which gives him an understanding of science. He told the Senate that the term “climate change” was an oxymoron because the climate is always changing. And while he may have a knowledge of science from putting dogs to sleep or putting his hand up a cow’s bum, he clearly has a limitted understanding of words, as an oxymoron is something that’s a contradiction in terms such as “a deafening silence”, “genuine fake”, “definite maybe” or “honest Liberal minister”. What I suspect he meant to say was tautology, but the point remains.

He believes that we should stop building wind farms until the evidence on the health dangers have been examined yet again, while simultaneously arguing that there’s no need to do anything about climate change because nothing’s been proven.

But then the current government cut the funding to the Climate Commission because it couldn’t afford the million or so it cost to run it, but found $200,000 a year to fund a part time wind commissioner without batting an eyelid, so I guess that he’s not alone when it comes to inconsistency.

Anyway, let’s move and forget about that because tax reform is the number one priority of this government now that the Great Barrier Reef is off the endangered list and these studies suggesting bleaching are just one of those scare campaigns that scientists come up with so that they can get the funding that would be better spent subsidising jobs and growth by giving it to coal companies who are having a hard time of it lately.

The latest thing on the table is the suggestion that Scottie “Beam Me Up” Morrison and Malcolm “I don’t do slogans” Turnbull is the idea that the states could levy their own income tax. One presumes that this will be done where the job is located so that we don’t suddenly have a large number of workers using the Cayman Islands as their home address. Then again, as a number of companies probably have some overseas address, levying it at the location of the company may be problematic in the case of multinationals.

Of course, the whole idea of the GST was that it was going to give the states a “growth tax” and they’d get all the money and it would never be raised past ten percent and they wouldn’t have to beg Canberra for money and there’d be plenty for hospitals and schools and the roads would be paved with gold and the states would do away with all those fiddly, little taxes that they imposed and we’d all live together in perfect harmony because it was somehow going to do away with the “cash” economy and everyone would pay their fair share of tax and the pigs would reduce global warming by flying and blocking the sun from warming up the earth…

Something like that. Like I said before, my memory’s a little hazy from the constant continuity… Or did I say change?

Anyway, I’ll be interested to see how long state income tax is on the table. Lately any Liberal tax proposal – apart from a reduction in company tax – that’s put there seems to slide off so quickly that I can’t help but wonder if the legs are the same length on both sides; there seems to be a definite lean to the right.


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  1. Michael Lacey

    That’s good I like that Rossleigh I had a good chuckle and that is good because the coalition’s incompetence in running a proper social democracy certainly is nothing to laugh about!

  2. jim

    This lying Liberal government got in power by telling the most outrageous lies I’ve ever witnessed No cut to health LIED, no cuts to education LIED, no cuts to our ABC or SBS LIED, and now with an election coming up the LIES have only started as one LNP member stated we haven’t cut health, hmm so why are so many doctors screaming about the Cuts? well it must be because Doctors have no “Liberal party” brains PLEASE FOLKS VOTE THESE LNP LIARS OUT THIS Election day by leaving the LNP squares BLANK thanks.

  3. Miriam English

    Brilliant and hilarious. 🙂 I especially liked the image of things sliding off the table because of unequal legs making it lean to the right. I liked your point about them wanting to do something to stop windmills now and not wait for evidence (even though the evidence that they’re harmless is already in), yet not wanting to do anything about climate change because the evidence is not in (even though it is) — lovely contrast.

  4. jim

    Hey great post Rossleigh , I’d like to take a bet that on ABCs 7.30 report tonight there will be another episode of the Liberal party being so so clever you bet you is,em…..errr …… smack….can’t wait….. NOT!.

  5. Kaye Lee

    You have an uncanny knack of using humour far more truthfully than anything any politician ever says to point out the paradoxes that this crowd of ‘small government, free market, no nanny state’ aging Young Liberals continually indulge in.

    They don’t want to intrude in your life – ban bike helmets, ban pool fences, bring back fireworks in the backyard, free hate speech now – until it involves religion which we all need more of apparently (provided you chant the right responses of course – we don’t want those splitters having free speech…and we certainly can’t call Cory a homophobe even if he does call you a fraud first).

    They demand more transparency and better governance of unions, but the compliance costs for multinationals would be too great for them to do likewise. And we sure as hell don’t want that pesky charity regulator looking into what the catholic church is doing or that biased bitch at the human rights commission sticking her nose in….give the job to Tim…oh he’s moved on?…send Phil instead.

  6. Narelle Darley

    Best first paragraph ever! 🙂 And the rest was spot on too!

  7. Keitha Granville

    Do you think they’ve even looked at pictures of the Great Barrier Reef bleached ? If it’s appearing on international news feeds, it might just be happening.
    Or maybe it’s the coral’s fault and nothing to do with climate change or reef dumping.

  8. Kaye Lee

    Greg Hunt flew over the Reef the other day. He raised the ‘threat level to its highest degree’ whilst telling us it was not as bad as first thought – “not as severe at this stage as 1998 or 2002.”

    I wonder how that Best Minister Ever Award for his contribution to protecting the reef is looking? In 2015, the Australian Government spent $100,000 flying around the world to convince members of the World Heritage Committee not to place the reef on the “in danger” list. Riiight…

  9. Kyran

    By way pf precis, there is nothing of any substance coming out of Canberra, except wind and stress.
    “Stress: The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it”
    In the interests of preserving our fragile economy, and with due regard to cost/efficiency, put the wind farms in Canberra. As there is (undeniably) an inexhaustible supply of wind (ironically, from oxygen thieves), the empirical evidence can be studied at close range.
    If the wind farms are that dangerous, we lose our government and our press gallery. As they haven’t been there for three years now, no harm, no foul.
    As for policies, nobody in their right mind was reasonably expecting them from this shower of gits.
    Thank you, Mr Brisbane, take care

  10. hforward22

    Good one Ross. I’d laugh, if it wasn’t all so damned awful.

  11. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I really hope that Malcolm Muck and the LNP Degenerates read this to see how much we see them as caricatures of politicians and human beings.

  12. wam

    Despite turnball having the initials spelling ’empty’ i never used to believe in ‘onomastics’. However the liberal parties’ senator Back is another reason. Is there a senator ward or side or door or biter or what if he sat next to packer?
    ps thanks for tautology, back and I qualified for 62.5% of his word but I have learnt.

  13. flohri1754

    Grand, really grand …. and a succinct synopsis of the political situation in the country …. Wouldn’t it be marvelous IF there were no hard-right LNP BS to distract …….

  14. Geoff Andrews

    i may be wrong but my understanding is that leaving a blank beside the LNP candidate on the house of reps ballot paper, makes that vote informal.and therefore is to the advantage of the LNP.
    The reverse is the case on the senate paper, of course.
    Your advocacy to leave a blank beside the LNP candidate should include the phrase “on the senate ballot paper”.

    I can see it now: Malcolm trumpets “Show your displeasure with Tony Abbott: leave a blank beside your local LNP candidate. Send us a message.”

  15. Stan

    Love your work Rossleigh!

  16. Rossleigh

    Another point of interest with the state income tax thing: How will the tax returns work?
    Tax is taken out, then people are expected to claim work expenses in the next financial year. Until they do this, we don’t know how much income tax they’re actually expected to pay.
    This leaves two questions:

    1. Will the states have to wait until people have filled in their tax returns or will they pay back part of the tax they received?
    2. If a state is charging a higher (or lower) rate of tax, how will this work in terms of split up when any tax return is calculated?

  17. Bradley Temperley

    “Tough on slogans, and tough on the causes of slogans.”

  18. king1394

    As Chris Back is a vet, I wonder if he has had to treat animals with wind turbine syndrome, or if he has noticed clear differences in the stock that is grazed near wind turbines. The sleek and contented cattle I have seen on the Infigen owned wind farm near Canberra should be examined closely.

  19. Miriam English

    I’ve seen the light!

    Our great and important social leaders have shown us that evidence isn’t necessary, so I propose that windmills prevent outbreaks of giddy-minded idiocy. Just look at the parliament. I don’t recall any windmills near there. There ya go! My confirmation bias is as good as theirs. We need more windmills to stop the craziness running rampant.

    And while I’m on a roll here, I assert that Christian literalists cause sexual perversion. Just look at the obsession that George Christensen and Cory Bernardi have with gay sex, bondage, and kiddy porn. And look at all those Catholic priests! I rest my case. We need to remove such people from any position of influence before they bring the entire country crashing down into bestiality and pedophilia.

    Wow! That felt kinda satisfying. I can almost see why those idiots do it, regardless of how disconnected with reality it is. Can those nitwits really not think? Are they really so pinheaded that they can’t see the lack of logic?

  20. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I like your reverse ILLogic, Miriam.

    The Christian hierarcy and LNPees won’t see the humour unfortunately coz they’re stupid.

  21. Alan Baird

    Damn good column and some apposite replies. Loved the proof/no proof needed according to the well grounded ‘wind turbine madness” and the clear nonsense of climate change… IF you live in Murdoch/Macquarie Radio/Coalition La-La Land, where it all makes sense apparently. I, too , have seen the way the cows graze beneath turbines and they must clearly be mad, they’re so calm when they should clearly be in a frenzy. The late unlamented Joe Bananas therefore was totally rational when they were seen by him as offensive and, by omission, belching coal smokestacks were lovely. In this parallel universe it all makes sense.

  22. Miriam English

    I think I’ve worked out why our government does so appallingly while having their snouts so deeply in the trough, guzzling down money like crazy. It also explains why companies that give their CEOs squillions of dollars do really badly. This is why they keep trying to do the same failed policies of carrot and stick — especially beating the poor about the head with the stick. It fails repeatedly, but they can’t look outside their narrow vision and understand why, so they do it again, and again, but harder, never realising that it will just fail harder.

    These screwups will destroy the economy in their deperate attempts to impose their puritanical ideology on Australia. They “know” it works — it just has to be done strongly enough… like in Greece.. except something unaccountable went wrong there, but it won’t go wrong here because they know this ideology works. They don’t need evidence because they know.

    Well, they are wrong. Dangerously, absurdly wrong.

    Daniel Pink – The puzzle of motivation

  23. rossleighbrisbane

    Facebook put this up on my “Memories” today.
    Strangely, I think the pattern may be even clearer two years on!!

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