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November 3rd, 2120: Happy Donald Trump Day

“Good morning, children, and happy 100th anniversary of Donald Trump Day to you all. Today is the day when we pause in our daily work and remember the great man and how he changed America forever.

“As the older children all know, back before Emperor Trump assumed the throne, there used to be what was called elections. These primitive ways of selecting the government were based on the idea that all people should have input into the running of the country. Naturally, this was an incredible waste of manpower when it came to counting the votes, but people actually had to take time off to go to what were called “polling stations” where they would vote. And, even though all of them were less intelligent than the Great Leader, some still spent hours listening to what was called the NEWS. A few even wasted time reading about the decisions that the government would make.

“Obviously this was a very poor way of selecting who was best to govern. For a start, most people were below average intelligence so this meant that the winner was someone who appealed to the less intelligent. Then there was the problem that the elite only received the same voting power as the ordinary citizen.

“The election of 2020 demonstrated this point clearly. While Emperor Trump received all the votes of the intelligent people, he was still behind when the votes were all tallied up because, in those days, the votes of those wishing to vote against him were actually counted.

“At first Trump tried to point out that there were discrepancies in the voting, like the fact that one person was prepared to come forward and sign an affidavit that he had heard people talk about how someone’s uncle had actually witnessed people changing ballots from blank to Joe Biden. When a court threw this out after it was eventually investigated and discovered that this was just the person exercising their right to vote on their own ballot paper, the Trump team was forced to return to its basic principle that anyone who didn’t vote for him was clearly part of the socialist mob that wished to change the United States through voting for someone else.

“It became clear that the courts were going to be no help when even his appointees suggested that they had an obligation to uphold the law and not simply follow the whims of the President, so in between the sixteenth and seventeenth holes, Trump was forced to make what we now know as the Mar-a-Lago Doctrine which upholds the ideal upon which this country was re-founded.

“To quote it in full: 

I’m a really great president. Nobody does presidenting like me, except maybe Abraham Lincoln and he’s dead, so that makes me the best but these Democrats want to take that away by insisting that all votes count when we all know that this country was founded on the principles of no taxation for the very rich and only they deserve representation and obviously only the votes for the best candidate should count because I can’t see why all the people who didn’t vote for me aren’t in jail because they clearly don’t support law and order and you know how we were going to make the country great and lock Hillary up, well, clearly they want to stop that and so the best way to prevent them is with an executive order which makes it illegal to vote for anyone else but me. So if they’ve voted for Sleepy Joe then that means they’ve committed a felony and we all agree that felons shouldn’t get the vote. Henceforth, every four years we’ll have a day where people can go into the polling booth and exercise their democratic right to endorse the really, really good government and if they don’t want to do that well… they can still vote for the other person but they should realise that their vote won’t be counted.”

“Once Trump issued the decree that only votes for him would count, some were too foolish to accept the result and many of the Fake News Media started to make up stories about everyone’s vote counting, as though this had ever been more than an experiment gone wrong.

“When the media was put under the control of the White House to prevent Fake News from spreading, a number of people took to the streets deliberately causing chaos. In a magnanimous gesture, the Great One forgave them and told them that if they returned to their houses, they would not be shot in the streets. And true to his word, he waited till they had returned to their houses before sending his militias to kill them all in the comfort of their own homes. After that, people were generally more appreciative and very few people tried to argue.

“So ever since that day, Americans have been spared the difficulty of making choices and what they do is dictated to them by someone who knows much better than the elites who tried to take away people’s rights to be homeless and to force us to have affordable healthcare so that even those without money could defy Darwin and God’s decree that only the fittest should survive.

“Later today, President Trump will once again have to appear on the screen to show that he has not died as the fake news insist. He is a happy 174-year-old who hasn’t changed a bit in the past ninety years as you’ll see by his appearance at his yearly news conference. So, have a happy Trump Day and after this brief pause, you can all get back to work.

“Hail, Emperor Donald.”

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25 comments

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  1. Mr Bronte ALLAN

    Great article Rossleigh, as usual! Very true words about eveyrone’s “great political leader/dictator” (NOT!!). Thank goodness he will soon be gone–sadly though never forgotten–at least I hope he will be gone! This must surely be the worst Presidential period in the history of the United States?

  2. Jack Cade

    It will be called ‘Pussy-grabbers Day’, and will be a National Holiday.
    Ginger cats will be wiped out within a decade, from being used for Trump-Hair.
    People in ginger-cat hats and ‘He made America Grate’ t-shirts will grab pussies ‘ on Pussy-grabbers Day’ without fear of the ‘rule of law’.
    Except people of ‘color’, of course.
    I can’t open AIMN on my mobile these days, which is probably just as well…

  3. Roswell

    Jack, take a screenshot of any message that comes up on your phone and email it to The AIMN. I will take a look at it.

  4. Henry Rodrigues

    As for the disgusting traitorous Grand ole National Socialist party of America, they too will end up in the dustbin of history, at least their leaders like Mitch and Lindsey greaseball and Kevin MaCarthy etc will. Only one laughing his head off, is Putin.

  5. kid jui

    Not understanding why so many American people still believed all the nonsensical tweets coming out of this man they called president!

  6. Jack Cade

    Roswell

    It says

    ‘Bad Request

    Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.
    Size of request header field exceeds server limit.’

    This message occurs whenever I try to open ‘comments’ through either Gmail or Google.

  7. Jack Cade

    One of the most interesting aspects of the US elections is that while a majority – sizeable in number but insignificant as a percentage of the total – rejected Trump, they did not embrace the Democrats, because the Democrats lost ground in the Congress and made no headway in the Senate.
    AS George Galloway said, he would not have voted for either Trump or Biden( I felt the same way) because ‘…when you choose the lesser of two evils, you still end up with evil.’
    Biden will just continue what Hillary Clinton would have done. ‘Clinton of Libya’.

  8. mark delmege

    I’m surprised you remember so well, not many seem to remember what the last one did – perhaps they were too busy with the msm or identity politics.

  9. Jack Cade

    Bronte ALLAN

    You and I might feel that, but almost half of the American electorate does not. He increased his 2016 vote considerably. Trumpism won’t go away. The USA’s plight would be hilarious if they weren’t so bloody dangerous.

  10. Roswell

    Thank you, Jack. I’ll message Michael to chase it up with the web team in the morning.

  11. mark delmege

    I think Trumps sackings of military heads is a sign that he knows he lost the election. And he wants to do a few things before his time is fully up. Withdrawing some troops isn’t a revolutionary move and wont do much at all other than give a signal that they should leave. And they should but given how many US troops and dependents and others are still in Germany and Japan it should be obvious thats not likely.

  12. New England Cocky

    Ah Rossleigh, you undoubtedly have the gift of the gab as adequately demonstrated by this restrained soliloquy about absurdity. Trumpery would feel more at home in a one party state, but that is essentially what the USA (United States of Aparthied) is politically, even though there are enormous underlying social, economic and cultural subdivisions among the real American people.

    Seems there is more in Greek classic literature and Roman histories that still applies today than our educators would like us to believe.

  13. wam

    There are millions of Australians who believe trump’s rhetoric and who cannot accept that he lost.
    I was surprised so many voted for biden and did my dough.

    Trump is a vindictive, nasty loser and will slash and burn his way through the next 60 days(there is a NYC clock counting him down) till he is forced to give the keys to biden.
    Joe will spend hours cleaning up the pizza and tissue boxes and, unless trump has taken it to his board room, polishing the tear stains off the desk.

  14. Michael Taylor

    Jack, our web team is looking into it.

  15. mark delmege

    Bronte that may be so domestically and I wouldn’t disagree but I’d argue Team Obama had the worst foreign policies in generations. And with Michele Flournoy possibly in the saddle Team Biden is already looking to challenge.

  16. Mandy

    Wow as an American this election is not over. Just because the Associated Press has called it doesn’t make it official. There are still ongoing recounts and a major lawsuit coming against the fraudulent machines used in 30 states that was illegally outsourced to other countries. There is evidence of mass voter fraud here and we will not be silenced over it! America is and always will remain the free world. Biden didn’t win anything and our Supreme Court will prove it. I’ve seen tons of Aussie support for America patriots but clearly this page is vile garbage.

  17. obo

    Mandy,
    Go home. It’s over. Your man lost. Get over it.
    Bye

  18. Rossleigh

    Gee, Mandy, this page didn’t say anything except that in a ;hundred years, all Americans will come around to thinking like you: Only votes for Trump count and any others must be the result of cheating or a lack of intelligence. But, if you consider that “vile garbage”, then you have a right to your opinion and your “alternative facts”…

  19. Terence Mills

    Mandy

    You are wrong about there being evidence of mass voter fraud : there isn’t !

    Lawyers for Trump are going into courts around the US with half baked theories and frustrated judges are throwing them out of their ear, thirty eight so far.

    The lawyers still get paid (they hope) but ultimately the American justice system, like our own , relies on evidence and so far three has been none.

  20. Matters Not

    Remember Mandy has lots of friends – Trump received more than 70 million votes.. Together and individually, they construct a reality that most Australians can’t fathom and that construction has consequences. Note also

    Donald Trump skipped the G20 summit’s “Pandemic Preparedness” event to visit one of his golf clubs on the same day that a record 195,500 new Covid-19 infections were reported in a 24-hour period in the United States, according to Johns Hopkins.

    The summit, attended by world leaders from across the globe, is being held virtually this year because of the Covid-19 pandemic, which has now killed more than 250,000 Americans – by far the largest total in the world.

    Getting his priorities right? Only in America? And don’t try to debate them. They have a completely different common sense. Simply, you don’t speak their language – but we support them in war.

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/nov/21/donald-trump-g20-pandemic-golf-club

  21. Michael Taylor

    MN, on top of that Trump was busy tweeting conspiracy theories while in attendance at the Virtual G20.

  22. Phil Pryor

    Mandy, you are masturbatory mad, fantasy f—-d, stunningly stupid, incapable of truth or its recognition, a complete or incomplete idiot, a liar, carrier of lies, devotee of lies, will die maggoted by lies and flies. Moronic mischief making is murderous, misfit muck. Only a backward fool could not see that Trump, an unwiped arsehole is a liar, robber, rooter, rorter, cheat, regressive, hunnish whore, double crosser, betrayer, traitor to the nation and constitution, a concentrated essence of impure shit. All the officials now and over time have been divided into camps and beliefs, have scrutinised each other, checked and rechecked, to get results, which rarely show more than a difference of five votes in a recount, perhaps from arguing a one is a seven by the curl on the top. The facts are there, the liars are rotten childish losers, Trump is a political cadaver awaiting burial and civilised society need s to face reality. Seek treatment.

  23. Lantanaman

    Message to Mandy,
    Trump can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time but he can’t fool all of the people all of the time. Guess which category you fall into? To make it easy for you I’ll spell it out. You and your mindless mates are the ones who are fooled all of the time. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

  24. Roswell

    I just read Mandy’s comment while imagining Alex Jones’ voice.

    I’ll do Trump next.

    And maybe a Rudi Giuliani.

    Give it a try. It’s a real hoot.

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