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NostraDameUs, Cassandra and Other Predictions!

Now, if you can cast your mind back to last May. back when Abbott was still popular (at least with the Federal Liberal Party and Murdoch), I wrote the following blog.:

It’s A Plan, Jim, but Not As We Know It.

It’s worth a read. Then have another think about some of my other predictions.

And if you have a re-read of “Rossleigh’s Predictions for 2015”, you’ll see how accurate I am. Of course, I am counting the recent events as making Number 1 accurate even though nobody’s asked him to stand down as Minister for Women, because he’s certainly done beaten one and more in terms of stupidity, and is being asked to stand down from all his ministries, apart from whatever face-saving one that he’s tossed by the new PM, just so it doesn’t look like he’s as much on the outer as he actually is. Number 8 has happened has also happened, but nobody noticed. Numbers 2 and 3, well, that gives me a total four correct out of the four I wish to count. Number 4, yep, well, that hasn’t not happened so maybe I’m actually going to be right with that one, too. I’m tempted to count it as accurate and give myself a five out of five correct, in much the same way that the Liberals are suggesting that they’ve got the economy on the right track even though the Budget has a bigger deficit, government debt continues to rise, growth is slow and unemployment is greater than it was under Labor, but I’m nothing if not fair, So 3/3 it is!

  1. Abbott will be asked if he thinks that he should appoint someone else as Minister for Women but he’ll assure us that he’s the only person in his government who trully “gets women” and understands the particular problems some of them have getting pregnant – like infertility or not having a man.

  2. There will speculation about a possible leadership challenge from Julie Bishop.

  3. Speculation will intensify when Bishop says categorically that she has no desire to be PM.

  4. Steve Bracks will make a bid for a seat in federal politics leading to speculation about him as a future PM.

  5. Christopher Pyne will suggest that the words “hypocrite” and “inconsistent” should be considered unParliamentary.

  6. Joe Hockey will claim wages being too high is the reason for high unemployment.#

  7. Joe Hockey will claim a lack of wages growth is the reason for his inability to get the Budget back into surplus.#

  8. Sources “high up in the Liberal Party” will be critical of Tony Abbott, but tell everyone that he is safe because everyone is too scared of Peta Credlin to launch a challenge.

  9. David Leyonhjelm will announce that we use introduce a “user pays” system when voting in elections, before asserting that if everyone carried a gun, there’d be no need for elections.

  10. It will be discovered that Bronwyn Bishop is completely deaf in her left ear, and has only been ejecting Labor MPs after secret signals from the Government side.

  11. Scott Morrison will tell everyone that he has a soft spot for people who’ve been on benefits for more than a year. It will later be discovered that by “soft spot” he meant a boggy swamp where they could all be hidden.

  12. A scandal involving the misappropriation of funds by a prominent Liberal will be headed “Labor Fail To Notice Dishonesty” in the Murdoch Papers.

  13. Rebekah Brooks will be given a job in Australia leading to some nasty comments that a couple of hundred years ago it was the ones who were found guilty who were sent to the colonies.

  14. One of Abbott’s ministers will be praised as one of their best performers, only for it later to be discovered that he/she has been suffering from agoraphobia and hasn’t left their home for the past year.

  15. Barnaby Joyce will tell us that the Senate should be abolished as it’s unnecessary, a waste of money and a frustration for democratically elected government. When asked if felt this way when he was a senator, he’ll argue that back in those days the Senate was fulfilling the worthwhile role of stopping the Labor government from introducing an Emissions Trading Scheme.

  16. Some readers will attempt to use reason and logic to argue with one of the trolls making comments, when the person making the comment clearly has a limited relationship with the real world, so abstract concepts like coherent arguments will bounce off them like bullets off Superman’s chest. (Like Superman, these trolls will often have a secret identity and feel very sure of themselves, but unlike Superman, they’ll never actually accomplish anything apart from making people wonder whether the education system is failing or whether it’s just a few Queenslanders who’ve spent too long in the sun.)

Many of the rest, won’t happen because I totally unestimated Abbott’s capacity to get himself sacked before even two budgets, meaning that any reference to any other minister is meaningless owing to them all being in different portfolios. So I feel that we shouldn’t count them. Like Tony suggests, let’s just look at what I’ve actually got right. So all in all, I give myself an A for the 4/4 or 5/5, which is 100% however you look at it, so maybe it should be A+, and I also think that, after that, I should just stop talking about myself. After all, you, the public want me to talk about interesting things and not about myself, I’m going to give myself a good talking to and tell myself to stop it, and I’m going to do it in public, just to show you all that you know that I don’t like talking about myself and there are more important things to talk about, things like plans for Australia, but unfortunately, others have chosen to talk about me, and I suspect that even some of the comments will be about me, but I’m calling on you all to stop it, put it behind you, because I intend to be interesting from now, and I’ll consult people about what I should write about, because I have a poor ego, I never skite – in spite of being just terrific and much better than anyone who disagrees with me – and I think you should all just let me get on with what I do best, because well, there’s really no need to say anything because really I’ve achieved quite a lot in the past year or so. And no, I’m not running for the leadership of the Liberal Party. I’d like to make that very, very clear – even if there is a spill. And if there’s one thing you can depend on with me, I keep my promises, and I don’t make excuses.

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4 comments

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  1. CMMC

    30 years hence, an old, stooped, shuffling man is picking up glasses at a Northern Beaches RSL.

    If you get close you can hear him muttering away ‘I stopped the boats…1…2…3..I abolished the carbon tax…1..2…3…’

  2. Rossleigh

    Nah, Tony’ll be a commentator that they drag out on election nights, where he’ll begin by saying something about the current election, but move on to say that the incumbent government, whether Liberal or Labor, is losing votes because they haven’t been as effective as he was in creating a strong economy.
    When someone eventually points out that all economic indicators grew worse under him, he’ll say that’s just because he had to fix Labor’s mess.

  3. Rossleigh

    But, I suspect he’ll also mutter that he stopped the boats and abolished the carbon tax and was a great captain who had a strong team.

  4. paul walter

    So he “gets” women, does he?
    I wonder if he “gets” Peta Credlin or Julie Bishop.

    He did “get” Gillard but that was only because he had legions of shock jocks, Murdoch hacks and ABC Toadies amplifying his noises.

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