Now let’s get something clear here: I have never slept with Bill Shorten. Neither have I had sex with him.
So, it’s with a clear conscience that I can say that I’d rather be in bed with The Greens than Bill, but that’s only because I’ve heard that he has bad breath. Mind you, I’ve also heard that Malcolm loses interest in the middle of… sorry, what was that again, I was just looking at the view out the window, and yes, someone else will catch me up later… meetings. I haven’t heard what he’s like at sex because neither Lucy nor Donald are talking.
Of course, there’s a lot of talk in Canberra about who’s in bed with whom. However, usually it’s to do with political allegiances and not simply gossip.
And, apparently, there’s been a number of apologies lately and not just because of the repeating of rumours. Michaelia apologised about repeating rumours about Bill Shorten… apparently she wasn’t aware that the focus groups told the Liberals that the idea that anyone would find Bill attractive only boosted his profile. A Labor senator called Cash a shrill fishwife and was later forced to apologise to fishwives everywhere because there’s no recorded occasion where anyone was as shrill as Michaelia Tony Abbott, once again, apologised that he wasn’t Prime Minister because everything was just fine when he was there, steadying the ship. Malcolm Turnbull apologised because he couldn’t bend over backwards when meeting with Donald in the US because that made it hard to take the selfie.
It’s good to see that there’s a focus on the policies that matter, and that we can forget about the limiting the free speech of charities to criticise government policy or the abuses of human rights happening on Nauru and Manus.
I’m sure that the great defender of free speech, Andrew Nut, will be having a front page about it any day now.
Sorry, I meant to say,: Andrew Bolt. I always got my nuts and bolts mixed up. It’s why I never followed in my brothers’ footsteps and became a mechanic.
Anyway, I guess if just apologise there’ll be no problem. It seems to work for the Liberal Party…
But then a lot of things are easier when you have Cash!