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Malcolm Calls An Election!

Well, Mr Turnbull began the day by urging us to vote for the Coalition with the following tweet:


I still find it a rather disrespectful way to refer to his fellow party members but I guess that he knows them better than we do.

He followed up by calling on the Governor-General and advising him that the Prime Minister would like to call a Double Dissolution election on July 2nd. I guess tomorrow we’ll have a series of articles praising Malcolm’s political cunning and how he’s caught Labor by surprise because – even though everyone has known about the July 2nd election since February – nobody knew exactly when he’d go to see the G-G and actually enter the caretaker period.

I love elections! They bring out the best in people. Take the Liberals. After three years of telling us that it was all under control and they had no need to comment on operational matters and now that they were back in power it was all going to be all right because they had a plan, so piss off and leave them alone to get on with the job of transferring wealth from the leaners to the lifters because a rising tide lifts all boats, so why should we worry about climate change because higher sea levels will lift everyone, we now have them being polite again and reminding us that they’re really, really nice blokes who are just looking after us. For a start, there’s their plan for jobs and growth. And no, it’s not the one where taking away any income for unemployed people under thirty for first six months should lead to a boost in crime and therefore, we’d have a boom in the security industry, not withstanding all those construction jobs from the extra jails that would need to be built!

Now, a few nasty people who aren’t getting into the election spirit where we let by-gones be by-gones and not go bringing up the promises that were broken after the last election because that’s just not the way it’s supposed to work; we all knew that the Paid Parental Leave scheme was too expensive and that there needed to be cuts made and that there was no “Budget emergency”, so whatever was said in the last campaign isn’t relevant at all. These cynics have suggested that, as the government’s been in power for three years now, are asking why haven’t they actually implemented their plan? These feral, bleeding heart do-gooders overlook the fact that if the Liberals made their plan public, then Labor might steal it. No, election time is for looking to the future, voting Liberal and trusting that they have a plan for jobs and growth because that’s what they told us.

Labor, on the other hand, just want to indulge in class warfare. When the Liberals reduce Newstart – even though business groups are telling them not to – that’s only so they can give tax cuts to the average person on $80,000, that’s only making sure that money goes to those who deserve it. Class warfare is when you complain about the money that rich people are getting. When you suggest that anybody on the dole or a disability pension is a drain on society, that’s not class warfare – that’s just sound economic management.

You know, sound economic management where the government improves its bottom line reducing tax for some people while telling everyone that it’s about time that they paid more for the necessities of life. Where governments can say that they’re balancing their budget, so if you can’t, then that’s your problem. Yep, when you increase the cost of living for everyone that’s ok, because someone earning more than $80,000 has an extra six bucks a week to pay the Medicare co-payment. And let’s face it, anyone who goes to the doctor more than once a week must be one of those bludgers who isn’t working.

Yep, one has to admire the Liberal Party. Particularly Scott Morrison who said that he won’t be apologising to “Save The Children” for what he said about them. He only said that they were “allegedly” coaching self-harm, and when you repeat something and preface it with “allegedly”, then that means that you can go and attack them as though it’s definitely true and if it’s later proved wrong, then it’s not like you were the one who accused them, so no apology is necessary.

Yep, one has to admire the Liberal Party. I mean that’s what our PM meant with his tweet, isn’t it? Celebrate those mothers, admire them, love them!

Yep, one has to admire the Liberal Party. Well, no, it isn’t compulsory I mean you do have a choice, because the legislation making it compulsory has been put on ice until after the election


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  1. Steve Laing -

    Morrison trying to be tricky stating that he hadn’t actually accused the Save the Children workers (whilst quite happy to have them removed from their jobs and reputations besmirched), was beyond the pale. But we know Libs just don’t do apologies unless they are forced to by their feudal overlords.

    Losing the election is the very least punishment they deserve.

  2. Rossleigh

    I don’t know, Steve. Winning it may be worse punishment for them!
    Can you imagine Abbott, Bernardi and friends after the election and how much damage they’d do to the party?
    However, we’d all have to suffer then.

  3. Emmee Bee

    ‘Losing the election is the very least punishment they deserve’. Yes, at the very least. An absolute drubbing would be better. Being called to account for some of their heinous decisions would be even better.

  4. Florence nee Fedup

    That long line PS who followed off plane behind PM would have rather, I am sure spent today with family. Why visit GG today to call unnecessary expensive DD. Especially as, the houses won’t be dissolved until tomorrow.

    Morrison effort Insiders this morning couldn’t be worse. When is a family that consist of plumber and social worker can be seen as modest. If they can’t make it, there is little hope for many, most others. even they had to put off having child, live with parents to do so.

  5. Jack Russell

    I want to watch the LNP suffer. I want a front row seat reserved for the next three years at least. I’ve already put enough popcorn aside to last the distance. Some rotten tomatoes might be good too.

    Oh, and for Xmas I want a federal ICAC…with fangs.

  6. Möbius Ecko

    I keep hearing about a plan but am yet to see one. Abbott also had a plan but at least he had a booklet for it even though he didn’t follow a thing in it.

    Liberals big on stating they have plans without having any.

  7. Carol Taylor

    I believe that ‘the plan’ is, give as much money to the already wealthy because they ‘create jobs’. Likewise reduce you overheads such as wages and anything eg schools and hospitals which do not show any $$s by way of assets I.e. these are ‘expenses’ and therefore a drain on your efforts of ‘wealth creation’. The wealthy of course are never a drain on the system because by definition any Rort benefit they may be engaged in is traded off against the wealth they generate. Therefore give as much as you can to the Lifters…they deserve it.

  8. Möbius Ecko

    That’s not a plan, that’s a flawed ideology.

    I notice that the minions like Joyce have come out swinging against Labor using the same discredited lies they have from the day Abbott took the Liberal leadership. You know they have nothing when in government they behave like an opposition whilst the opposition is behaving like a government.

  9. John Fraser


    The LIberal Party plan is for innovation and speedy changes in a rapidly changing digital world.

    Don't mention the NBN stuff up.

    And for flucks sake don't say anything about an 8 week election campaign where the country goes into a coma.

  10. Möbius Ecko

    John I’ve hard so many say they are over this election, and that was only two hours after Turnbull’s election announcement.

  11. Kyran

    Sooo, wait a minute. We’re going to a DD election on 2nd July, which was pre-announced in February. The compelling need for this DD election is NOT;
    health, education, welfare, environment, corporate tax avoidance, NBN, refugee’s, national security, politician’s entitlements (nobody else, asides from the obscenely wealthy, has any), DV, homelessness, the economy, defence, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Pick a subject, any subject at all. Feel free to add your own.
    Nope, nope, nope.
    It’s because the government thinks that a building union is so out of control, it is damaging the economy and affecting productivity. So out of control, it requires a ‘star chamber’ style oversight. The union happens to be the only thing attempting to address workplace OH&S in an industry that has one of the highest work place death rates.
    If they win the election based on the need for a star chamber, what’s the bet they say it gives them a mandate on all of the other issues.
    Thankyou, Mr Brisbane. Take care

  12. keerti

    I knew I ‘d enjoy this when I read the title,”malcolm calls an election.” I immediately started thinking of Enid Blyton titles like “Noddy goes fishing.” Though Noddy would have put much more energy and sincerity into preparations for fishing than the lnp does about anything other than transferring money from the poor to the rich. I suppose everybody has to be good at something.

  13. Kronomex

    “Oink! Oink!”
    “Daddy, look up there’s a big pig that has wings flying over the yard and I can see the letters L and N and P on its sides.”
    “That, Timmy, is a promise and that means that there is an election coming soon.”
    “Is that bad daddy?”
    “Yes it is so we had better go inside and lock the doors because the yard will be deep in political poo for weeks.”
    “Better hurry daddy, there’s another one coming and it has the word Labor on it.”

  14. Gangey1959

    I heard on the grapevine this morning that moronscum rang tudbott at the lodge with “My lord, I have a cunning plan.”
    Rowan Atkinson was contacted for comment, and said he has series 5 in the works, but we will all just have to wait and see how it all turns out. Stephen Fry was most enthusiastic about playing corhesanarsehole, but none of the other main characters have much idea about anything at all, and are leaving everything up to director muckraker and his script writers.

  15. Kronomex

    I was just wondering after a very quick look at the SMH, when will Malcolm slip up and start eating babies and kissing watermelons.

  16. King1394

    Jobs ungrowth

  17. win jeavons

    Perhaps many of these ,our “rulers” have Alzheimers . They remember the distant past ( not always accurately) , but cannot remember recent statements, specially pre-election promises. Or perhaps they lie so regularly they don’t know what is true. NOT TO BE TRUSTED!

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