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Malcolm And The Art Of The Selfie…

Now sometimes I’m a bit slow…

I mention this because what I’m about to write may seem terribly obvious to some of you and you’ll be going, “Yeah, so what!”

But I feel that I must post, in a spirit of full disclosure.

Ok, that’s my mea culpa, so if what I’m saying seems like I’m suddenly realising what everybody in Australia already knew, well, just call me Barnaby make me Deputy PM…

What? He’s no longer Deputy PM? What? Next you’ll be telling me that another National Party figure fathered Vikki Campion’s child? What? Barnaby already suggested that when he said that she was working in Queensland while he was overseas? Queensland? Does that mean the child will be foreign? Gees… Like I said I am a bit slow.

Anyway… Being a fairly charismatic sort of chap, there have been times that people have wanted a selfie with me. Generally, I oblige. I’m an obliging sort of chap. So I always felt like I was being a bit harsh by calling Malcolm the Minister for Selfies, because well, if I was at many public events then I’m sure that I might have lots and lots of people going, “Rossleigh! Hey, it’s Rossleigh, can we get a selfie?”

Ok, I thought that’s just vain. Most people wouldn’t recognise me and surely I wouldn’t get as many people asking me for a selfie as the PM.

And then it hit me…

Yes, yes, I know. I said that I’m a bit slow.

In every selfie of the PM, he’s the one taking the photo…

To be fair to myself, when he’s standing next to his good friend Donald or Cher or somebody who doesn’t make the cultural cringe seem quite as obvious, then the fact that he’s the one taking the selfie doesn’t make him like quite as pathetic.

However, when he’s standing next to some worker in a high viz vest or some kid who’s said, “Sure, you can take a selfie with me for ten bucks… Who are you again?”, then it just accentuates the fact that nobody seems to be asking Malcolm to be in their photo.

Who knows? If I followed the PM around, I may find as many people asking me to be in their selfies as the PM does. Certainly I can’t recall any photos of anyone saying, “Look who’s in my Instagram feed! Apparently he’s the Prime Minister and he let me take a photo of the two of us together.”

So, I wonder how it goes when he’s at those important events with important people like the President of the United States or Taylor Swift or the Pope or Kim Kardashian, and he says, “Hang on, can I take a selfie? Just so I can tell all my friends back home that I actually met you. God, this is awesome. I’ve always wanted to meet you… There…Thanks.”

Yep, it’s not quite as pathetic as wearing a T-Shirt saying “I’m PM of Australia and you can take a selfie with me – just ask.”

At least, I don’t think it is… But like I said, I’m a bit slow sometimes.


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  1. Kyran

    With respect, your Star Studdedness, do you ever have a problem when one of your obliging admirers doesn’t fully appreciate your charismatic charm?
    It appears his ‘good friend, Cher’, wasn’t aware of his propensity to ‘Cher and share for a ‘like’. It seems only appropriate there was a ‘cultural cringe’ at a cultural festival, given his track record of being truly, completely and utterly pathetic.

    “But an innocent selfie with Mr Turnbull, who was attending the event with wife Lucy and New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian, caused a storm on social media.”

    In response to a tweet about Captain Tremble, Cher posted;

    “I’m not sure what you mean.
    The Man I Talked To Seemed PROUD OF EVERYONE AT THE PARADE. Am I Missing. Something
    The Man I TALKED Could Be Reasoned With,The Man I Talked TO Believes In Equal Rights for ALL OF HIS PPL.THE MAN I TAKED TO WILL LISTEN &

    And got the following reply from a fan (Clearly, a fan of Cher, not Captain Tremble);

    “The man you talked to is a liar. He illegally detains refugees/asylum seekers who are PoC in off-shore concentration camps were they are tortured, abused & killed. He speaks only in support of trump. He ensured LGBTIQ people were taunted and abused for months last year. Sorry”

    To which Cher responded;

    “Am so sorry. Guess that’s why I have FEW Friends Who Are Politicians.He Seemed Very Open & excited about MARDI GRAS,AND LGBT COMMUNITY”

    I just went and had a look at Cher’s playlist of songs. Soooo many titles would fit as a caption for Captain Tremble’s Fantastic Adventure with Cher.
    Thank you Mr Brisbane. Take care

  2. helvityni

    ….Cher did not who the man taking selfies was, maybe she thought he was the partner of Ms Bereikjilian…?

  3. kerri

    Thank you for this Rossleigh. The selfie obsession is one of those niggling irritants that has been swanning around in the back of my brain for a couple of years.
    Why does he do it?
    Is he collecting for his retirement memoir?
    “The Happiest PM in Australia’s History. Yes it’s me Malcolm!”
    Who does he show them to?
    Maybe it’s Lucy! He seems to share everything else with Lucy?

  4. Lord John

    Dear oh Dearie Me. I’d like to see a Selfless selfie.

  5. Phil

    it’s narcissism – the whole idea of taking photos of yourself smacks of insecurity. Pathetic.

  6. etnorb

    Seriously, somebody should blow up all bloody selfies! What did we do before some cretin created selfies? I certainly would never “like” any picture with Talkbull, let alone a bloody selfie! Another great article Rossleigh, thank you!

  7. Roswell

    Malcolm needs a selfie stick. 🤳

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