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Jesus Demands $10 Billion For Wrongful Crucifixion – Personally, I Blame His Dad For Not Marrying His Mum!

Now, if any of you are offended by the headline, I have one thing to say: You have absolutely no understanding of the Christian message and you’re going to Hell.

Ok, maybe not forever, but certainly for the next few minutes as you read what I’m writing and get so angry because… well, I’m just wrong, aren’t I? What’s more, I’m one of those heathens who shouldn’t be allowed to make films like “The Last Temptation of Christ” or exhibit photos like Serrano’s “Piss Christ”!

I guess the whole “political correctness is shutting down our freedom of speech” thing has been a bit like a pebble in my shoe. It’s irritating. But not so bad that it’s made me stop and take off my shoe to find the pebble and throw it away. However, the whole Israel Folau thing has turned the pebble into a rock and it’s hard to walk when one foot is so weighed down that you keep thinking about it and ignoring everything that’s really important…

Yes, I am aware of the irony here. I’m simply trying to take off my shoe here and remove the pebble…

Gee, with analogies like this, I sort of remind myself of Jesus who used parables to express his beliefs. I guess, GoFundMe and lawyers weren’t available in those days.

Suddenly the epiphany hit me. Just like Saul of Tarsus who was struck blind on the road to Damascus# because of his “lifestyle”…

Now, this is almost worth a book and I’d start a “GoFu##Me” campaign myself, were it not for the fact that they may shut it down when I announce that I may use it to write a book that supports striking people blind on the way to Damascus…

How on earth – or indeed, in Heaven – can you complain about political correctness stopping you from expressing whatever view you like when you – as a religion, if not personally – have been responsible for most of the censorship for the past several hundred years?

Yeah, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition and all that… Do you even know what the Spanish Inquisition was? Google it, before you talk about Israel Folau’s rights being ignored!

Yeah, all right. I’m a bit slow and some of you already got to this point a long time ago.

Yeah, there are more important things in this world than whether an indulged man gets his millions in some court case.

Yeah, if God can do anything, couldn’t He have just forgiven us without crucifying his son?

And isn’t a compassionate god more likely to be on my side than Folau’s when I  say that Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison are going to Hell for their treatment of the people on Manus and Nauru? I say this without even arguing for a moment that these people – including the children that Peter “Before the cock crows will deny that his constitutionally eligibility three times” Dutton insists aren’t in detention –  have the right to seek asylum and are not people arriving in this country illegally… Ok, I know you may spend several minutes unpacking that sentence… Like I said, we’re all in Hell now.

Speaking of which, I did notice a story about how Scott Morrison would consider military support to help the US just as soon as The Dumpster works out which war he intends to fight in order to boost his re-election chances…

SIGH<

The more things change…

We can beat these fuckers, you know. It’s not easy. But they feed on our despair. Hope is a currency that doesn’t get doled out by governments and banks. I’m sorry if I made you lose it, I don’t intend to. I’m just old and tired and finding it hard to have much hope in a world where Rupert Murdoch hasn’t just decided to enjoy his billions with his bride… Or alternatively, been struck by the same God that allegedly struck down the twin towers of Sodom and Gomorrah… Mm,  Rupert dies suddenly tonight, I may have a whole new religion, started by me and the amazing serendipity of all things. 

Mm, I may just start that as a religion anyway. If you want to join, please join my GoFundMe campaign. If I tag it “Religious freedom for hating”, I may pick an extra million from confused Israel followers.

That was Israel Folua followers, in case you misunderstood.

#No spoilers here for all you good Christians who’ve actually read the Bible and not relied on some half-baked American version, but Saul did recover his sight and changed his name to Paul, stopped having sex with men and wrote the quote that Israel Folau tweeted about “Drunks, etc…”

 

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7 comments

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  1. Jack Cade

    ‘If Rupert dies tonight …’
    Thats what the North Koreans were hoping two generations ago…and the Americans were hoping when Cheney departed.
    Rupert Murdoch, in his younger days, was nicknamed ‘Rupert the Red.’
    No such nomenclature could be sheeted home to his nominated heir.

  2. David Bruce

    Did you notice how many things are all coming together around the same time around the world? Is Trump really as dumb as we think he is? Is the Australian economy really going to hell in a hand basket? Is political correctness, gender equality, climate change and other people control mechanisms starting to change human beings internally? How will 5G telecommunications speed up the process?

    I am out of the country now and observing the events in Australia through a different lens. If the Invisible Hand could just give the PTB a bit of a nudge we could all see karma at work! Goodnight, Rupert?

    5G: A Mass DEW, Terraforming Platform & Artificial Intelligence – Dr. Katherine Horton Video
    https://beforeitsnews.com/v3/science-and-technology/2019/2959226.html

  3. Keitha Granville

    thank you, again, for saying what most sane educated people think . . . .

  4. Lawrence S. Roberts

    The religious right is behind both Israels, softening us up for Blasphemy Laws and abortion denial within 3 years.

  5. Pappinbarra Fox

    It’s the slippery slope of the greasy thin edge of the wedged waterfall floodgates.

  6. wam

    A very clever piece, Ross Leigh,
    A friend sent me a piece about an Alabama woman pregnant and got into an argument with another woman who shot her 5 times in the stomach. The foetus ‘died’ and the woman was charged with manslaughter. Remember this is male Christian America, which woman was arrested and charged and what colour was she?
    Thanks for solving a 75 year old mystery about boxing gloves and going blind.
    According to the Folauian theory as long as you use your own hand you are heavenly bound but if it is paul’s hand it is going blind and off to hell for you?
    I used to believe that god wasn’t much of a doer that was the devil’s job.
    Then I moved on to tsunami’s and other god-caused disasters like wounded knee and bud dajo where god could kill thousands and save a baby to boost his credibility.
    I did dabble with the god of the Jews being the same god for Christians and Mosley’s( autocorrect changed Moslems??) and didn’t the Christians get up in arms, such vehemence.
    Seems that god needs three compounds and three guises perhaps a swarthy black hat with a beard, a benevolent bearded white man and a bearded turbaned black man for the religious. With a heaven for those who died before the Jews, heathens and atheists wonder where agnostics will go? Isn’t there a decision pending area?
    I try to suggest that when a politician’s beliefs drive the decisions he/she/it makes the beliefs should be discussed openly?

    ps
    I am with you David 5g will be the ‘show me your papers’ police from an office with 24/7 access to everyone. I don’t have a mobile phone and there are often things I would like to do that have an asterisked phone number that cuts me out unless I make up one but that won’t work with 5g my face fingerprint will send the afp to my door quick as a flash. But for now I often wonder if some poor person gets messages addressed to me??
    pps trump must be laughing his tits off and shorten would beat this Democrat collection?

  7. Bronte ALLAN

    Rossleigh, great, & so very bloody true article! I think that unless we are able to muffle/sack/export/ or something both Slo Mo & Potato head, this once fine & fair country of ours will be going to hell in a hand basket! Every day, we read & hear of yet even more lies & half truths sprouting from these dickheads mouths. It has gotten so bad that, EVERYONE in the bloody COALition mob is becoming worse than ever & I really fear for the future of the Australian people. Big Brother is already here, the storm troopers are assembling as we sleep, both Slo Mo & Potato head are greasing the poles of freedom & fairness, the rest of the “normal world” must be thinking that we have become a nation of right wing, happy clapping bloody quasi nazis! I fear for our future as a once proud & free peoples, no longer, no more!

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