Jeremy Clarkson, who once contrived to show how unreliable electrical cars were by driving around in circles off camera until it showed that it didn’t have enough charge to make the next charging station, has admitted that he is woke every night when he thinks about Meghan Markle.
Ok, I’ve pretty much ignored the whole Harry and Meghan saga because it’s one of those things that I can’t really judge because the happy couple have suggested that the Royal Family have been leaking stories about them to make them look bad while the Palace insists that it can’t comment and sources close to the Palace say that it’s just untrue and that the Royal Family would never do such a thing and that Harry and Meghan are just making things up and that they’ve always been like that and aren’t Will and Kate just the perfect couple and won’t they make a great King and Queen and isn’t a shame that we can’t tell you all these stories that make Meghan look bad because they really happened including the one about her making everyone cry but we can’t confirm that even though it’s true.
As you can see, it’s hard to know who to believe. Although some people are suggesting that that Queen Consort is doing the wrong thing by consorting with Jeremy Clarkson and Piers Morgan both of whom feed public anger about Meghan who had the audacity to marry Harry. This is a bit unfair because Camilla has been consorting with whomever she likes for years even if they were married to Diana, so why shouldn’t she have some of her daughter-in-laws fiercest critics for lunch if they’re fun company?
Let’s be clear this is not about racism. They simply don’t like Meghan because she’s American and the Royal Family still haven’t got over the fact that the Americans refused to pay tax and declared their independence and it was always on the cards that she would declare the independence of her and Harry because those Americans never made good, obedience subjects…
Nothing to do with race at all. They insist that they made her welcome in spite of her background. The American bit, not the bit they don’t mention because… well, anyway this is meant to be about Jeremy and not the newly minted King and his favourite son and his favourite wife.
My question for Jeremy Clarkson is: Doesn’t admitting you can’t sleep make you woke?
Oh, that’s not what woke means… Well, what does it mean exactly?
I better do some research and get back to you…
* * * *
Ah, I understand now. Being woke doesn’t mean lying awake thinking about things. It means that you’re politically and socially aware and that’s a bad thing because you can’t take a joke and realise that Clarkson was referencing “Game Of Thrones” when he said that he longed for the day that Meghan was paraded naked through Britain with excrement being tossed at her. Apparently if you reference “Game Of Thrones” everything is ok, so if I say I can’t wait for the day that Jeremy Clarkson is castrated it’s just fine, because that happens in “Game Of Thrones”, so wishing it upon someone is just a bit of humour which people aren’t getting if they have a problem with it.
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