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If I Give My Son A Cubby House On Fathers’ Day What Will His Mum Get Him For Mothers’ Day?

Ok, I saw the media stories about how our beloved leader has been spending his weekends making a cubby house for his kids…

And yes, I did read that some of you lefty people were saying that it was too late and they were too big for it.

Well, I was about to do a whole piece on fat shaming when my son distracted me with a simple question: “Gee, Dad, why didn’t you ever make me a cubby house on Fathers’ day?” I quickly explained that I was too busy, what with my determination to actually do my job, which this year included finding the time to write a piece attacking people for complaining about those poor Morrison girls’ inability to fit into the cubby that our PM was neglecting the whole nation to put together when he put me straight.

“Too BIG, as in too OLD… This isn’t to do with their size. Nobody is calling them fat. God, Dad, you are so stupid!”

Well, I considered going straight into the back yard and making him a cubby just to prove there were no hard feelings,  but at his age he may have considered it a hint that I wanted grandchildren…

Instead I simply apologised for my inability to do things to please him on Fathers’ Day  to which he replied that I clearly didn’t get his irony.

“Jesus, I’m supposed to be doing things for you on Fathers’ Day, Why on earth would I ever expect you to make me a cubby? You’re an idiot!”

To which I replied: “You actually understand irony. Thanks. That’s the best gift I could have hoped for…”

He suggested that if that was the best gift then maybe it wasn’t too late to take my actual gift back and try for a refund. I suggested that maybe he was bitter because I’d never actually made him a cubby house.

”Nah, if you hadn’t killed yourself in the act of building it, you’d have probably injured me when it fell down on top of me.”

“Hey, are you suggesting that I’m less competent than Scott Morrison?” I asked

He then gave me an even better Fathers’ day gift by going to bed without replying…

Still, next year if he forgets Mothers’ Day I’ll have an iron as a standby present. Let’s see how that works out, and if we still have the same PM by then….

Ok, you may not think that an iron is a great present but I don’t have an empathy coach, so how could I know any better?

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8 comments

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  1. Linda

    Isn’t the job of PM a 24/7 job? How does he get every weekend off to build the cubby house, when the country is in a pandemic?

  2. Jack Cade

    Good question. I doubt that Dan Andrews would be given such leeway by the msm.

  3. Michael Taylor

    Scotty building a cubby house lifted the spirits of the whole nation. A bit like when Churchill visited bombed districts in WW2.

    For his next trick Scotty’s going to make one of those horses we all used to make as kids: a stick with a flat horse’s head and some handles.

  4. Regional Elder

    The sheer irony of Scotty from Marketing, marketing to the msm the building of a backyard cubby house for his daughters is lost on him. After all, as Minister for Immigration and as Prime Minister Morrison has stubbornly refused to provide a home for legitimate refugees in this country, and turned them instead into long stay political prisoners.

    The beleaguered ABC did something well tonight with their Australian Story on Behrouz Boochani and his seven year quest for freedom as an asylum seeker and a journalist author. In that program Morrison is revealed as the ugly craven marketeer that he is. Now living in Christchurch, Boochani comes across in the program as a human being we can admire. Morrison has the reverse effect .

  5. John Lord

    Very thoughtful Rossleigh. More than my father ever put into mine.

  6. leefe

    Michael:

    You mean ScoMoFo pretending to build something the size of a dog kennel gave the MSM a good photo op and a neat distraction from the fact that he is totally incompetent at his job. The man doesn’t even know how too hold a hammer much less a power saw.

  7. Frank Smith

    “Un-named sources” have reported that PM Scotty Morrison enlisted our esteemed Deputy PM Micky McCormack to assist in building that cubby house. Apparently Deputy PM McCormack was having trouble driving a nail into the west wall as he had the head of the nail against the timber and was hammering away on the point of the nail. The ever astute PM Scotty sees this and yells “Hey Micky, what are you doing? You have the wrong nail there – that nail is for the east wall.”

  8. corvusboreus

    Scomo moaned “I’ve measured twice and cut three times, but it’s still too short”
    Micmac didn’t respond, he was too busy checking his own arse for signs of frass from white ants.

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