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The Human Race

Welcome to the Human Race! Sean Hurley is your caller.

A good afternoon to you all and welcome back to The Bendigo Jockey Club, the stalls are almost loaded and we should be racing very shortly.

Our favourite today is Hope paying 2:1. Then Police State at 3:1, Liberal 5:1, Civil Unrest 5:1, Pandemic 8:1, Sharing and Equality both at 10:1 and the long odds of 18:1 are on Environmental Collapse.

Science has got behind this one, but well you would have to say it is not looking good for them.

They are all in line.

Under starters orders … and … we’re away racing!

Hope is the first to show out of gate 6, followed by 1/5 by Liberal, a half a length back is Police State and Equality followed by Sharing and Pandemic with Environmental Collapse and Civil Unrest bringing up the rear.

As they settle in it’s Hope at the front stepping away from Liberal, Police State has dropped a step and Equality is moving up on the inside. Sharing and Environmental Collapse are keeping pace, Pandemic in behind and Civil Unrest is looking out of touch right from the start.

Coming into the bend now.

Liberal has dropped some pace, Equality took advantage and is closing on Hope, Sharing is passing Liberal on the outside. Police State is a nose in front of Environmental Collapse, Pandemic close behind and Civil Unrest is last out of the corner bringing up the rear.

Up the straight Hope is well off the pace now, Equality is trying to stretch away but Liberal has come back and is having none of it. Sharing has drifted back, Police State and Environmental Collapse are tucked in behind, Civil unrest out of nowhere right on their heels, Pandemic making a run on the outside, leaving hope out the back looking the worse for wear.

Inside 250 meters Liberal is squeezing past Equality on the rail, Police State and Civil Unrest nothing separating these two.

Environmental Collapse on the inside is passing Police State with a late run. Pandemic on the outside is starting to look like a contender. Hope is well out of touch and what ever happened to Sharing?

The last hundred to go!

Liberal has gotten away from Equality!

Environmental Collapse is closing the gap! What a run, what a run! Pandemic close on his heels! Police State and Civil Unrest are battling it out!

It looks like Equality went too hard too fast this time, joining Hope at the back of the field! Sharing is a distant memory!

50 meters to go!

Liberal is struggling!

Environmental Collapse keeps coming, it’s a beautiful run! A beauty of a run!!

Pandemic is charging hard along side!

Civil Unrest has broken free of Police State!

It’s a five horse race now!

There’s nothing in it!!

Liberal is slowing!

Civil Unrest, leaving it late, is storming home Past Environmental Collapse and Pandemic!

Liberal is all out of sorts here!

It looks Like Civil Unrest is going to take it at the post!

No, No, No, Liberal has upset Civil Unrest and Environmental Collapse Storms home!

Then it’s Pandemic, and a very angry Civil Unrest.

Does anybody know what ever happened to Sharing?

This was first posted on Sean’s blog Challenged Species and has been reproduced with permission.


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  1. Rafe Falkiner

    I just want to cry………………but my anger prevents it

  2. Ruth Lipscombe

    Very clever.I am convinced the average person does not care.If Nauseous Newman is re-elected then I will know I was right!

  3. Kath Malcom

    Sharing is “caring” and well we know that caring thing is out of fashion in this country, it’s been replaced by another C word cruelty, with Captain Chaos riding the Trojan horse…. It’s a mad mad world…

  4. Kaye Lee

    The ad I see next to this article is for alcohol rehabilitation. I wonder if we could launch a class action if this government drives us to drink?

  5. mars08

    I don’t understand why Bigotry wasn’t in the field.

    It’s a big favourite with the punters and usually makes a good showing in the home stretch.

  6. mikestasse

    There was one horse sratched. Economic Collapse. Another horse that should’ve run was Perfect Storm.

    Just today in ABC News…
    A former government resources economist warns that rising risky home lending and a persistent budget deficit make Australia’s economy vulnerable to a Chinese economic shock next year.


    A report from two St. Louis Fed economists this week blames low inflation levels in the US on ‘consumers’ hoarding money. With 40+ million Americans on food stamps, they could think of nothing else than a local version of Ben Bernanke’s insane notion of ‘excessive savings’ in China holding back the world economy.

    Without even considering the option that people simply don’t have money to hoard. That they instead are buried in debt. That the money pumped into the system only reaches the top part of it, and gets stuck there. If people don’t spend, it must be because they have tons of cash sitting in their mattresses, not that they don’t have it. A sadder picture of the state of economics could not be painted. What even more sad is that these are the kind of yokels who determine economic policy.

    We don’t stand a chance. At first, I liked to see them address velocity of money in their inflation ideas, but then found they had no idea what it was or meant. US velocity of – base- money is at a record low. People are not spending. The same goes for Japan and Europe. But that’s not because people are wallowing in endless piles of cash. It’s because they’re at the end of the line.

    And as we fast approach Limits to Growth, one of the main protagonists of the Club of Rome’s Limits to Growth Report that warned us the shit would hit the fan 42 years ago now says there’s nothing we can do to avoid collapse…
    “There is nothing we can do” – Meadows

    Have a nice day….

  7. Sean Stinson

    thanks for this. sooo good, especially when you read it in a race callers voice 🙂

  8. Gregory T

    Actually Kaye, I think a Ashley and Martin hair loss ad would be more fitting, especially if it pictured Tony. Hey, Hey.

  9. Phi

    Loved the race – I don’t bet but have heard race callers in the background of virtually every pub I ever entered so its a familiar call

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