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Hi Rupert, I believe there’s a vacancy…

Now look, I need to make it clear from the first…

I am not a journey list

Whoops… phonics

But it seems that one of your journalists has outlived his usefulness now that his mate has not been charged… or made PM… and will probably never be.

Anyway, I am a poet and I have actually won a poetry competition but more about that another time…

I have always adored the following:

Portrait of a Lady


Thou hast committed —
Fornication: but that was in another country,
And besides, the wench is dead.
(The Jew of Malta)
Among the smoke and fog of a December afternoon
You have the scene arrange itself — as it will seem to do—
With “I have saved this afternoon for you”;
And four wax candles in the darkened room,
Four rings of light upon the ceiling overhead,
An atmosphere of Juliet’s tomb
Prepared for all the things to be said, or left unsaid.
“You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends,
And how, how rare and strange it is, to find
In a life composed so much, so much of odds and ends,
(For indeed I do not love it… you knew? you are not blind!
How keen you are!)
To find a friend who has these qualities,
Who has, and gives
Those qualities upon which friendship lives.
How much it means that I say this to you —
Without these friendships — life, what cauchemar!”

Ok, it’s longer than that and if you’re unfamiliar with the poem you should check it out.

Elliot inspired me because I thought that I wrote better poetry than he did just like I think that I have a better grip on reality than the Deputy PM… but it’s hard to judge one’s own work…

Unless one is Scott Morrison or some other Coalition MP…

Gee, Scott Morrison just said he’s responsible for Labor’s win in WA…

Or the Liberal loss if you want to put it that way.

See, poetry.

I told you.


(I’d tweet this to PvO but he seems to have disappeared…)

Love to all those marching tomorrow. Personally, I’l be wearing black and saying that I didn’t want to do this but Scott Morrison is responsible and kids if you want to know why…

I don’t teach politics. But check out poetry.

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  1. pierre wilkinson

    just when I was convinced that Scotty from marketing was not responsible at all

  2. Henry Rodrigues

    Now the creep is claiming credit for Labor’s victory ? How fucken stupid is that. Doesn’t this dickhead have any sense of reality ?

  3. Harry Lime

    Looking at that arrogant ,lying,happy clapping, hypocritical and grossly repulsive blob of lard in the photo has put a severe strain on my breakfast.On the upside, this should be a highly entertaining week,so all is not lost.

  4. Terence Mills

    Scottie’s a marketing man. Marketing people turn every negative into a positive.

    That is a worry for us !

  5. Arnd

    My sentiment precisely, Harry! Doesn’t he have a wife – Jen, or somebody? – who could point out to him that he should think about his public appearance like a father of two young daughters, who will be mortally embarrassed and suffer severe psychological scarring on account of pictures of their father in black budgie smugglers.

    “Wear bord shorts, my dear! Think of your daughters!”, she should have told him.

    It’s what my wife did for me!

  6. Rossleigh

    So Morrison is saying that it’s down to him that the Liberals have been reduced to numbers that even Josh Frydenberg or Peter Dutton’s backers could count without mucking it up?
    After all, if he’s responsible for McGowan’s win, the Liberals’ poor showing is his also. Btw, don’t use the word “decimated” about the result… That’s only one in ten being slaughtered.

  7. Gangey1959

    Look on the bright side.
    Next federal erection, scottyfromadvertising might be claiming responsibility for a labor victory then too.

    The Fed Parliament is back. Sans the ag and ministress of the fence. So it will be a fun fortnight in the notional capitol.

    I haven’t read the papers yet, (I haven’t been shopping), but I bet the HS here in melbourne will tell me how good is the storm without C Smith, because that is vital news when REAL (read men’s) afl isn’t playing yet and nothing else happened in Victoria, and our dictator is not dead yet it’s only a flesh wound despite the mad monk’s bitch’s continuous frenzied carry-on on sky-spews. Jeez. Imagine being the poor unfortunate sod in the desk/booth next to it. Are vitriol fumes poisonous?

    Shame our pet belgian nazi got his new gig. Does it come with grey uniform, Chaplin mo and arm-band, or is that just for “private”? The article in the Guardian made much of his ability to sprekenzedeutch, so it was a natural leap for me, having seen his behaviour in the Senate. I’m just waiting for my part of his travel and marketing bill to come from my centerlink payment.

    Bring on QT in the big house.

  8. Vikingduk

    In an enormously popular display of selflessness, the smirking, shirking crime monster has its second jab. This move was applauded by all frontline health workers, most of whom are still waiting, waiting for their first jabs and having no clue when that will be. Whist restricting surgeries, depending on size of practice to 50, 100 or 400 doses per week, morrison the magnificent assures us we are still on track. Even though, at this rate, 2025 should see the bulk of the public vaccinated. A further example of the incredibly brilliant competency of the lnp/ipa crime syndicate.

    March, what march, oh right, those women, well you understand that being the crime monster is a very demanding job, mate, got no time for that stuff, important announcements to announce, mate, pork to barrel, lies to tell, people to bully. Besides, the cheese and kisses, jen, says, luv, she says sweety, I’ll let youse know if there was anything important. Be a brilliant new announcement to make, says jen.

    Now, you would think that the minister for women might make an appearance, accept the petition, even attempt to show concern. No, no, no, I’m reliably informed that Payne is auditioning for a role as a gargoyle on a little used church in eastern Romania.

    Ah, yes, another day in the life of Australia, where no care and no responsibility taken is the new normal.

    Scotty, old son, have you ever considered a burka? Photoshop? Keeping this look for the backyard pool? Predawn?

  9. Doctor Wu

    There are words and expressions in the Top End dialect of English that would lend more colour to Harry Lime’s comment. However, such blunt and politically incorrect language would be unlikely to pass moderation. (Which would be a fair call.) Having faced much bullshit in its 70 years of existence, my stomach is reasonably strong, and so my breakfast was not threatened by Scotty’s blubber-guts expose. Not even his substantial man boobs induced a wince. The vision was of a man who has never done a day of honest work in his life. What did make my tummy rumble was the prospect of our children and our planet being subjected to a future managed by people like Scotty, whose (supposed) adherence to prosperity gospel and neocon ideology allows him to pretend blindness to the consequences … As a young man in 1969, who among many, awakened and resisted when threatened with being sent to Vietnam, I applaud social action to challenge the direction in which we are all being dragged by Scotty et al. Old and disappointed I might be, but as shaky as any optimism has become, I am yet to abandon entirely hope that a more sustainable and equitable world is possible … And to be sure Harry, the next fortnight will be highly entertaining.

  10. Harry Lime

    Apparently the very honorable Christ-ian Porter has retained enough of his faculties to launch a pre emptive strike,even though he’s been mortally wounded (self inflicted).As the pre eminent law officer in our fair land,he has short circuited any potential independent inquiry by shooting himself down first.Talk about sacrifice in the public interest.I hope he’s prepared for a very,very long haul.Is the Circus Maximus open for business?

  11. Terence Mills

    Porter is suing the ABC for defaming him : it is unlikely to come to anything but it is a useful tactic to shut down discussion.

    This may very well be a tactic by Porter’s lawyers to place his issue Sub judice so that any publication, public comment or discussion through media organisations relating to proceedings currently before the court could be considered contempt of court.

    Does that mean the matter is now before the courts and thus Morrison can deflect any question concerning an inquiry ?

    These blokes and their lawyers are way ahead of you and me !

  12. DrakeN

    Harry Lime my question will be about the funding of his legal action: Will he pay his own costs, or will the Treasury be required to provide, and , will the ABC and its reporter be given extra funding to defend themselves?

    I have deep suspicions of money fiddling here.

  13. Harry Lime

    He’s only buying time Terence,a time honoured gambit in the profession of liars.However, it’s a highly risky move,and the longer he hangs around, the greater the stench becomes, and also increases the possibilities of more damning revelations.Could easily be a decade defining own goal.Here’s hoping.

  14. Harry Lime

    Money fiddling? In this government? How could you possibly suggest that? Do you get the feeling that the Liar is going to be extremely busy for the foreseeable future? Could be another minister off crook.

  15. Neilw

    Interesting re Porter. Sub iudice is probably right. However, he may have to pay substantial costs if the Court sees it as an A-G’s frolic. What a prick!

  16. Henry Rodrigues

    Neilw….. What a prick !!!!! That’s what got him in trouble in the first place. All prick and no balls.

  17. Terence Mills

    Porter has assembled a star-studded legal team to fight the claim against the ABC. It includes Bret Walker SC, arguably Australia’s top barrister who successfully argued for Cardinal George Pell’s acquittal in the High Court last year. Supported by top Sydney defamation silk Sue Chrysanthou SC, who represented actor Geoffrey Rush in his $2.9 million defamation win against The Daily Telegraph. They’re being assisted by reputational risk expert Rebekah Giles, who worked for former Liberal staffer Brittany Higgins over a now-settled defamation complaint against Defence Minister Linda Reynolds.

    So who’s paying for all this ? Well it’s the person you see in the mirror each day – it’s you and me and we are also paying the ABC’s defence costs.

    Whether Porter really wants to undergo cross examination under oath or face witnesses remains to be seen : the spectre of Oscar Wilde always hangs over defamation cases and public scrutiny may not be Porter’s best hand.

    Apart from shutting down discussion and avoiding an inquiry this strategy may be hoping for an apology from the ABC but seeing as the ABC didn’t actually name Porter and he ultimately outed himself that seems unlikely : I for one didn’t know that it was Porter until he publicly outed himself.

  18. Kronomex

    That photo of that soft white flabby ball of lard, whose only claim to exercise fame is that he has elbows of steel from lifting all those glasses, bottles, and stubbies of beer over the years, makes me feel ill.

  19. Matters Not


    So who’s paying for all this ? Well it’s the person you see in the mirror each day

    Are you sure? Would you have a link for that? And if Porter wins – do we get to share in the damages awarded? If not – then why not?

    One suspects not – because it would be somewhat unusual, particularly at the Federal level, for the public purse to pick up the tab for a supposed defamation that is not work related. So till then I will wait for a link that is more substantial. If it is true, then expect a flood of defamation actions from many other Ministers.

    Further, re:

    it’s you and me and we are also paying the ABC’s defence costs.

    Well YOU maybe, but not ME (as a taxpayer) – largely because when it comes to the paying of taxes, I’m one of those leaners that Hockey speaks of. That is – I get more from the Government than I pay. Thus not a net taxpayer. Nevertheless a proud, leaning but still a voting Citizen.

    As a Ciizen, however, I rely on taxpayers like BHP, the big 4 Banks, plus other corporations, large and small (non-voting entities) to pay their fair share. That’s why (approx) half of the Citizens can be non, net taxpayers but still able to elect Governments at all levels..

  20. Matters Not

    Defamation actions are comparable to a lottery. Yes there are some winners, almost always thelegal eagles who present accounts regardless of the outcome. Sometimes, the nominal winner becomes the (financial) loser, particularly if the damages awarded are less than costs incurred and/or each party is instructed to pick up their own legal bill. Just ask Hockey about that.

    In Queensland, many years ago, Joh Bjelke-Petersen (so the story goes) was keen to take any number of political opponents to Court re defamation actions. Needless to say, Joh wanted it all ways. He wanted the State to pick up the legal costs (win or lose) while he trousered any winnings. Other Cabinet Ministers soon saw the possibilities. A case of heads I win – tails you lose. A kind of defamation generated economic boom.

    Didn’t come to pass. Now – if you, as Minister, want to take defamation action then the risk is entirely at your expense. Under those conditions, Ministers usually don’t risk it because defamation real or imagined characterises the political arena. However if a Minister is sued while engaging in official duties, then the State pays.

  21. calculus witherspoon.

    A rash act, a slapsuit to be funded by taxpayers probably, to suppress inquiry into the validity of the allegation against Heathen Porter.

    Howard enabled the same thing fifteen years ago to shut down Bob Brown over Gunns.

  22. Matters Not

    Is Porter claiming he was defamed while performing his official duties as AG? Why is he not (initially) using the services of government legal officials (broadly defined) rather than engaging outside expertise? Perhaps because he isn’t entitled to?

    Did Reynolds claim that she was performing her official duties when she called the staffer a lying cow? If no – then that might explain why she paid up so quickly and without a fight. Seems likely the billable hours clock was running as well as the political capital being eroded.

    But an outsider never really knows.

  23. Matters Not

    Speaking of Joh and defamation actions. Sometimes they be can be but a cover for deeper corruption.

    Senior television journalist Mr Michael Willesee yesterday said that Mr Alan Bond’s $400,000 defamation payout to Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen could have been seen as “a massive bribe” after an interview he saw of Mr Bond by Ms Jana Wendt.

    Mr Willesee was giving evidence at the Australian Broadcasting Tribunal inquiry into whether Mr Alan Bond and his associated companies were fit and proper broadcasting licencees, after Mr Bond’s statements on Channel Nine’s A Current Affair about his defamation settlement to the former Premier of Queensland, Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen

    Them were the days. Journalists being journalists and proud to uncover.

  24. Matters Not

    Of course if the (ideal) FIX is really, really in, then the ABC will settle out of court (even for a paltry sum) with an appropriate apology, then get a (rewarding) financial boost in the Budget, Porter will be triumphant and Morrison will .. jump over the moon.

    But it’s not going to happen! Is it?

  25. Kaye Lee

    Christian Porter has decided to sue not just the ABC but the individual journalist, Louise Milligan, who had actually sat on the story for months.

    Porter’s lawyers are trying to claim that Milligan, by saying it was a Minister, thus narrowing it down to 16 suspects, defamed their client.

    I will categorically state that I had no idea which Minister it was until I noticed a certain Minister’s Wikipedia page and school magazine etc being erased. Not the actions, one would have thought, of an innocent man. Certainly actions that would draw attention to ONESELF.

    To Louise’s lawyers, I would be happy to testify as to who/what made us all look at Christian.

  26. Michael Taylor

    Kaye, Carol and I are sitting here nodding in agreement with.

    Porter drew attention to himself. No-one else did it.

  27. Kaye Lee


    I attended the March4Justice rally today in Sydney with an ABC journalist who told me about the lawsuit. She is in contact with Louise Milligan, I have emailed her the details about when I saw what and how it was Porter (or his minions) that drew attention to himself and I have volunteered to testify to same. I watched it happen.

    I should add that, when Porter was questioned about the Wikipedia changes, he dismissed them as a wild conspiracy theory. I am telling you straight, I watched it happen and others smarter than me can track the changes.

  28. Michael Taylor

    Hi Kaye. Carol and I attended an evening rally in town. Great speakers with heartbreaking stories. All had one thing in common: no-one believed them when they told people they had been sexually assaulted.

  29. Kaye Lee

    My favourite placard from today…..and my new mantra….

    Respect our existence or expect our resistance

  30. Terence Mills

    Matters Not

    I’ve done some research on the legal costs issue and you are correct, the federal government and Liberal Party have both confirmed they will not pay the costs for defamation cases.

    ABC as publisher will presumably meet the journalists costs in defending the case.

    The changes to Porter’s Wikipedia entry could be quite a significant factor in this issue.

  31. Rossleigh

    The basic problem that I see with Porter’s case is that Milligan and the ABC only ever referred to an alleged rape by a Cabinet Minister and Porter identified himself as the person concerned. It’s not defamatory to say that someone is being investigated. It’s not defamatory to say that the police have closed an investigation into someone.
    So what is he alleging was defamatory? If he wants to go back and argue that the bar where the journalist had to delete a photo of something that “never happened” he might have a case except for the fact that there may be eye witnesses which may, or may not, back up his version of the events that didn’t occur.
    In any case, he has to show that his reputation suffered and I’m more than happy to testify that I never thought very highly of him so no allegation could diminish my opinion of this government and its members.

  32. Vikingduk

    There were many in the Twitterverse watching the scrubbing of history and some had tracked the IP address to Canberra. So, it would appear that while putrid porter was in WA, there were gnomes at work in Canberra deleting his history. Phone records and email trails, I’m sure, would reveal an interesting yarn.

  33. Matters Not

    What’s interesting (for me at least) is this para from the SMH:

    “The sticking point for the ABC is that it must engage with and defend the meanings pleaded by Porter’s lawyers, not what they believe the article said and intended to say. It is common for judges to leave their decision about whether the defamatory meanings alleged by a plaintiff are in fact conveyed until the end of the trial, although some meanings may be struck out earlier.”

    So the ABC must engage with .. the meanings pleaded by Porter’s lawyers. Aren’t they (the lawyers) therefore arguing that meaning is given (actively attributed by a reader) and not received (passively)?

    Then – not what they (the ABC) believe the article said and intended to say. So it would seem that it might come down to intention versus outcomes re meaning. How very interesting. That’s if the case proceeds to conclusion – which I very much doubt.

  34. Kaye Lee

    Interesting MN.

    They state that there was an attempt to include the reference that I saw on wikipedia, that Porter was in Sydney in 1988. That could be true.

  35. Matters Not

    KL, Porter’s main aim was to be PM. If he had remained in WA State politics, chances were he would’ve been the Premier but his eyes were always on the main prize. His grandfather, Charles Porter, was a member of the so-called ginger group (within the Liberal Party here in QLD) and his father became the power player in the WA Liberal Party apparently. Porter, the younger, wanted to outdo them all. Until recent times, everything’s been so easy. Becoming a spoilt brat included.

    Unusually, neither of his ex-wives have offered a character reference. So it’s likely there’s tension there and one wonders what it will take for that emotional dam to burst. Possibly a coup de gras awaits in the wings. Revenge!

    The problem for Morrison is that Porter (to date at least) delivered some numbers but that might be finished as well. Former VC Hammond, Bishop’s choice as a replacement, is an intellectual talent (but probably anti-feminist) so tshe might be worth watching as well. Hammond is not there to make up the numbers. For Porter it looks like the end is nigh. But who knows. Politics is dotted with (unlikely) resurrections

  36. Canguro

    They say play the ball and not the man, but what is it with these Liberal leaders that they seem to think that poncing around on a beach 95% naked in their budgie smugglers is a good look? As Harry Lime says, a blob of lard is Scummy, at least the Wabbit aka Mad Monk took his physical obsessions seriously and coulda gotten away with his pretentious narcissism if he weren’t such a person in constant view. The small cluster of brain-cells that masquerade as the memory bank suggest that Hawkie appeared similarly unclad and was captured by the cameraman for posterity but I could be wrong, but no Labour person in recent memory has the idjit aspect alive within their persona that has them poncing on the beaches and bringing spluttering outbursts of mirth and contempt to the good public of Oz. Undignified fools who believe they have a right to be taken seriously and then squander it all by bursting out of the surf with their ball sacks rashed in the ocean sands and plodding beachwards all asquinty-like.

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