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Grabbed by The Column: Morrison Loses Murdoch’s Favour?

This time I want to discuss the seemingly ridiculous idea that Scott Morrison’s dog has a column in the Errograph. One may think that the obsequious propaganda (or stupidity) has reached new heights: the First Dog has a newspaper column. But all is not as it seems.

Dog Column, Part One: Lazy Scott?

The Daily Errorgraph is a well-known vehicle of COALition propaganda: the bias simply drips off the page. I do not have the link to the article this time but someone in my household buys this rag and I took a photo of the ‘piece’.

The first section of note is this little gem

Someone says they have a big important job running the country and then you are locked down with them and you realise just how much time they spend making cups of tea, playing sudoku and watching Cronulla Sharks highlights on YouTube

Did you catch it? Joke column or not, this is quite excoriating of the Prime Minister. He is not working, running zoom calls, or indeed doing anything to earn the more than $550,000 per year his job apparently warrants. Rather, he is watching his beloved sharkies on YouTube and doing puzzles. Hardworking man our Prime Minister is the clear message.

Dog Column, Part Two: Scotty from Marketing

The column then moves on to make a joke about Morrison’s perhaps overblown cheering for Ash Barty. As the piece puts it

So already he [Morrison] was tired the next morning when Jen suggested he go out and clean up the verandah instead of spending all that time on his phone updating his Twitter account and congratulating Ash [Barty]

It is easy to see this as a dig at Morrison using sport as a distraction from his various shortcomings. Whether it is cricket, the sharkies, or Ash Barty, the Prime Minister has often hidden behind sport. The idea seems to be that everyone can agree sport is awesome for some reason. Sorry Scumo, but I for one can mentally multitask you mental midget. Even the Errograph can see through his crap. Something has clearly changed.

Dog Column, Part Three: The Greatest Hits

The criticism of the Prime Minister continues with this slap to the face reference to Morrison and the bushfires. Referring to cleaning up the mess on the verandah, which the dog partially takes credit for, Morrison is quoted as snapping at Jen saying

I don’t hold a hose, Jen

Jesus christ. Trouble in paradise (and I do not mean in the Morrison marriage). That line could well serve as Morrison’s political epitaph. It portrays him as an out-of-touch elitist for whom mundane tasks are the work of lower-status people. For this to be printed in the Errorgraph of all places speaks volumes about the evident breakdown of the relationship between the Prime Minister and the man who truly runs Australia.

The column then proceeds to criticise Mr. Morrison with a clear dig at his temper with this line

Anyone would think he was tackling the press corps rather than a request from the cheese and kisses

That references not only Mr. Morrison’s temper but his adversarial (to say the least) relationship with members of the press who dare to criticise him. This column has not been subtle so far, but it saves the best for last.

Dog Column, Part Four: A Real Jab

The hits just keep on coming. The final topic is vaccinations, and it packs a punch. After Jen says that Morrison should get the dog vaccinated, the hound says

As a dog, I am a strict anti-vaxxer myself so I was heartened to hear Scott arguing that with the tight border controls around Sydney’s lower north shore there was no rush to get me vaccinated. Apparently he felt happy leaving me needle-free until after the election.

Somewhat speaks for itself, no? No rush to get him vaccinated? This fuels speculation that there will be a sudden influx of vaccines prior to the calling of an election. This is not subtle and really leaves the Prime Minister hanging.

Continuing, Jen says

“You were supposed to get this [dog shots] sorted last year, Scott,” Jen said furiously. “You only had one job and you messed it up”

That was a two-by-four to the face. The Errorgraph is not messing around here. This is also the first true thing this rag has printed in some time if we ignore the date on the front page and the price of the paper. Before digging a little deeper into what I think is going on here, the last few lines are worthy of note

“Come on Buddy, time for a run on the lawn” said Scott, grabbing the ball and heading out through the verandah doors. He loves throwing the ball for me and then trying to get it first.

“Remember Buddy” he said, tossing the ball. “It’s not a race”

Stop it! He’s already dead. Not a race? There are no words here. Of all the things this column shows, the most brazen is that Murdoch could criticise Scott Morrison (accurately we should note – all of this is true) but that he chooses not to.


There is perhaps more truth in the phrase ‘COALition propaganda rag’ than I first thought. As much praise as this and other Murdoch rags have heaped on Morrison, he himself is not the target. Murdoch is not defending Morrison as an individual, but rather the Liberal Party as a brand.

So long as Morrison served the agenda of keeping the Liberal Party in power, he was defended and provided with propaganda. Now that his sheer incompetence and other foibles threaten the Party’s grip on power, Rupe has seemingly turned on Morrison. It says much about the dishonesty of the Australian Montgomery Burns that the criticism was published anonymously.

‘Scomo’s Miracle’ was the Errograph front-page headline after the 2019 election. Rupe’s decision to turn on Morrison now, after the legion of scandals that has plagued him for much of his term, does suggest that an election is forthcoming. Given that the two likely alternatives (Spud – Dutton and Friesenburger – Frydenburg) are each about as popular as hundreds and thousands in a braille book, Rupe’s next move should be interesting.

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  1. Williambtm

    I have enjoyed this enchanting article, I do like the theme of Dr. Tim Jones, I’ve whacked a bottle of Black Jack Morgan spiced rum in the kitchen pantry, also a 6 pack of Coke in the fridge if ever he should call at my residence in Tasmania.

  2. Michael Taylor

    William, I don’t think Tim will be heading down to Tasmania in the near future so if you send the Black Jack Morgan to me I’ll see that he gets it. 😁

    Don’t worry about the Coke.

  3. New England Cocky

    Enjoyable article Tim, thank you. I particularly liked the ”hundreds and thousands in a Braille book”. The stark contrast of a very skilled Braille reader, like my mate Blind Freddie, with a grossly incompetent Prim Monster and totally useless acolytes was not lost.

  4. Jon Chesterson

    It never ceases to astonish me how much dung the journalists and editors of the mainstream press and commercial TV channels are actually standing in each day when facing Morrison, Frydenberg or any other Liberal Minister. Not just parliamentary dog shit, but their own droppings with every wasted question, every un-critiqued article and editorial column, every missed opportunity to do their job as a responsible journalist in the public interest, other than messing up the Parliamentary lawn and own backyard.

    They would not be able to breathe in a peer reviewed environment without certain contamination and asphyxiation on E.Coli, Ernest would have a field day, leave Delta, Delta Plus and the whole Greek alphabet standing, choking on its collar.

    Still, I guess it is Mr Average Nice Guy in Australia who spends more than a penny to read this shit at their local coffee shop and on the train each day, tabloids or the crap they collect from their Murdoch News Corp infested generic corporate Google mobile phone news feed. I have my Apple News feed customised blocking anything that moves in the direction of doggy litter from the mainstream press, filling my mornings with real news from independent media, reliable and sustainable sources. No doggy pooh bags required, not that Morrison would know what that even looks like – So very poor his moral, social and mental hygiene, gutter press and commercial radio stations included.

  5. Kathryn

    We all know that Sloth Morrison is a totally corrupt, bone-idle, non-achieving sociopath but I seriously doubt that the LNP’s official Propaganda Minister, the American predator, Rupert Murdoch, would EVER betray his “puppets on a string” in the LNP aka the Lying Nefarious Parasites! DESPITE the fact that SlowMo only had TWO jobs, BOTH of which were the full responsibilities of the FEDERAL government, ie: the vaccine roll-out and organising a viable quarantine program, Sloth MorriSCAMMER, the marketing mismanager from hell, managed to delegate just about 100% of his job to the hapless State Premiers. However, this unconscionable delegation and avoidance of his federal responsibilities is NOT new to the Sloth, as we all remember how he went AWOL during the worst fires in NSW history only to be found hiding behind a banana lounge in Hawaii!

    Whilst we have all been in lockdown and silently shunted away so that we are “out of sight and out of mind”, the Sloth has been doing his best to destroy, defund and annihilate everything Australians cherish. Whilst our attention has been fully diverted with the chaos and dysfunction of Covid-19, Sloth Morrison has continued the LNP’s MO of defundment and destruction. “Don’t look over here – look over there!” says SlowMo as he defunds Medicare into oblivion and radically CUTS BACK on what medical issues we can claim on, many such operations (like hip replacements) that will seriously impact on the ageing population – click on the link below and learn the unspeakable way SlowMo has mercilessly and silently slashed Medicare recently! On top of this, we have the LNP continuing to defund the ABC into oblivion (with nearly $1 BILLION defunded from our taxpayer-funded ABC since 2014). With the ABC running scared and completely at the mercy of the undemocratic autocrats in the LNP, we now have the LNP manipulating and controlling what we see on OUR ABC by parachuting right-wing sycophants on to the Board of the ABC as well as hosting influential panel shows, like Q&A – people like Ita Buttrose and the ex-SkyNews talking head, David Speers who are unashamedly right-wing puppets to the LNP! The ABC and SBS used to be the ONLY forms of media NOT controlled by the undemocratic elitists in the LNP/Murdoch/IPA Alliance but Sloth Morrison and his predecessor, Tony Abbott, have ensured that the ABC is going to “knuckle down to right-wing ideology” or get defunded into obscurity!

    This morally bankrupt, terrifying, manipulative and totally corrupt government headed by a depraved, smirking, bible-thumping hypocrite believes that if THEY control everything we hear and see, they can control what we think. Controlling everything we hear and see is the FIRST sign of fascism and it would appear that Morrison is prepared to stoop THAT low in order to maintain his bloodstained grip on power and the attainment of obscene wealth at the expense of ordinary Australians, our democracy, our environment and everything we value!

    Morrison’s Medicare overhaul – how will new changes affect your medical costs

  6. Florence

    The only interest Morrison has is to keep himself in power.

  7. Gangey1959

    As further evidence of the pm cocking up everything he puts his hand to, an “un-named source” has leaked this, overheard in the urinals in the gents’ at Parliament House, Canberra.
    ‘Will the member for Cook kindly keep his waters to himself”
    “Hey. I don’t hold the hose, Mate.”

  8. Neilw

    Reading comments around the traps, reckon Scummo’s ticket is about to be called. I reckon he knows it too, And it ain’t golden, more Engaddine

  9. leefe

    And Mudrake’s minions are now rolling out his latest deflect-at-all-costs scare strategy: cyber-invasion by Russia and/or China. Apart from Young Leak, who is still stuck on the ‘Vile Dictator Dan’ steamroller.

    NewsCorpse votes are worth far more than those of mere humans.

  10. wam

    great read, mit, loved the dog. Without rupert to administer CPR (‘COALition propaganda rag’), combined with internal polling, the two vic boys, hunt and fryburger, may be putting the pressure on scummo for a pile of cash from milne’s bequest. The hint of rainbow, albo, go for them??? ps michael I needed plenty of rum had to tape today’s game and the mongrel fox taping stopped with 2 minutes of play left. But I settled for two tumblers of glenfiddich and a pony of galway pipe

  11. Michael Taylor

    wam, I needed a wee dram with ten minutes to go. 😀

  12. BB

    Politicians, basically 99% of those on the right, ie THE COALition, liberals, (liberal with truth, liberal with lies), the “country (joke) party”, creepy purple faced mavericks in banana republic hats now posing as DPMs, rightwing ideologues, fanatics, wannabe fascists, authoritarian bastards, intent on dictatorial suppression of all opposition, have shown they are all about DENIAL of any responsibilities, feel they are now unaccountable, can get away with anything, that they can get away with lies, do get away with lies, rorting the system, pork barreling is the new ‘normal’, in your face blatant lies, misinformation, obfuscation, fake news ad nauseum, ad infinitum, and no longer represent anyone but themselves and their mates (at mates rates), their never ending lust and plunder of the public purse, the common wealth, and their obligation to all the corporate pirates, protecting the interests only for the top end of town, the millionaire/billionaire/zillionaire donors. It is of no surprise that the general public have lost all confidence and are now flucked, mostly complacent with a couldn’t care attitude, where so much empathy and compassion has been thrown out with the dirty bath water, and so many have lost all concepts of common sense, of what is fair.. SNAFU or more to the point our Australian social fabric is now basically almost FUBAR.. Bullshit politicians, the LIBERALS, led by a merchandising egotistical religious fervent madman, (paranoid about losing power), the so called PM who prefers to be on holidays and has shed his responsibilities as the PM onto the states as if Federal government does not exist, where the Notional Cabinet, (spelling intended), has been invented to sidestep having parliament sit where accountability can no longer be questioned, and where question time is a total obscene farce… “I don’t hold the hose mate”… “It’s not my job”… etc etc etc.. I’ll just ask Jen what a fair go is! FFS. In NSW we have the pathetic example of an incompetent Liberal “Premier”, Gladys What’shername who has supported business rather than the population in this awful covid outbreak, kowtowing to her puppet master, Morrison himself.. After lambasting the Victorian government, what hypocrisy. The whole system of TRUST in government is well and truly broken… The Liberals now treat all Australians as mugs, as stupid, as unintelligent, as sheepole, as gullible, and where they now assume, no it’s worse than assume, they know they are “Untouchables”, where if anyone makes a critical remark about their competence or criminal behaviour then it’s off to court to be sued for slander etc, where the law has been bought, where justice is only if you can afford it, where anyone who is a “whistleblower” is persecuted, prosecuted and thrown in jail… Where bullshit “secrecy” laws prohibited the TRUTH being made public… AND where the MSM, the media has rolled over and is well and truly crawling along the gutter in complicit collusion.. That an American owns 75% of our media is unfathomable and criminal! NO BLOODY WONDER AUSTRALIAN SOCIETY IS UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE. Where people are still ignoring advice about lockdowns, not wearing a mask, or not covering their nose, leaving to travel interstate without any regard to anyone else. Willful ignorance or just ignorant? NO BLOODY WONDER THE COVID VIRUS IS RUNNING RAMPANT. The safety messages from government have been 100% confusing and propagandist. The purchasing of vaccines has been subject to incompetence and penny pinching. Morrison &co, (who were 1st in line for a Pfizer jab), put all the eggs in the AZ basket.. FFS! Where will all this end? At present it’s all between a rock and a very hard place. Despite the excellent efforts by wise people, their efforts are undermined by the government. Well unless ordinary folk wake up and vote these bastards out of office at the next elections, then all bets are off, Australia will end up as a basket case. Where unless you have money…….

    I miss statesmen like Gough.
    Come back Kevin, I miss you too.
    Even Malcolm tried.
    Julia was a breath of fresh air..

    Just so sad that good folk are being ignored
    It’s all about the dollar sign eh.
    Materialistic pursuits
    and fuck the planet.
    Fuck the next generations
    Burn baby burn!!!

  13. margcal

    Kathryn: SlowMo only had TWO jobs, BOTH of which were the full responsibilities of the FEDERAL government, ie: the vaccine roll-out and organising a viable quarantine program, …..

    NO,NO, NO!!!
    Morrison had THREE jobs.
    Why do people overlook the role of the Commonwealth in healthcare?
    Victoria’s atrocious death tally was significantly increased thanks to all the deaths in “Commonwealth” run aged care facilities.
    Very convenient for Morrison and the Liberals that people keep forgetting that.

  14. ajogrady

    Like the fossil fuel industry Morrison is a stranded asset.

  15. Saleh Mammouhd

    You get the politicians you deserve. If all these comments about Morrison, and they may all be correct, are as they are, the question remains, how on earth has the LNP won the election?? Must be a load of dopes and brain dead voters out there – right!
    Trouble in Oz is there is no alternative. could you really vote for a party that has scum like Shorten or idiots like Albanese as leaders?
    And when it comes to corruption the ALP has mastered the art albeit less intelligent than the LNP as the incarceration rate of ALP politicians confirms, look no further than Okopolous, that Lebanese taxi driver Eddie Obeid, Ian MacDonald, Neville Wran the list is endless.
    Looks like that semi literate half wit Pauline Hanson is the least corrupt of the lot, great future prospects for Australia.

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