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Fun Times At The RATs Party – (Republished after Premature Publication)

I had a great time socially using a few Rapid Antigen Tests. A friend invited us over and we all took a swab, and after all finding ourselves Covid clear, we used the swabs as sticks for the fondue that he’d prepared earlier. It was a real hoot and…

Well, how else would one use a Covid test for “casual or social reasons”, to quote the Health Minster? Yes, I don’t know about anyone else but I certainly hadn’t actually.considered the potential for a get together involving RATs… I mean, given their limited supply, you’d only have to be an MP to have access to enough for a party. Personally, I wouldn’t go as far to share swabs, but apparently Canberra can be a wild old town, particularly if you’re a minister… Of course, I shouldn’t really be writing about RATs when we’re all meant to be focussed on Novak Djokovic…

Yes, just about every news bulletin has some reference to Alex Hawke’s “impending decision” and how there’s nothing to report. This marks an interesting departure from the media’s usual practice of only reporting something that’s actually happening… although they do frequently report an announcement from one of the Morrison ministry and that’s generally the last we hear of it. Perhaps, in future they’ll start reporting things like: “STILL NO UPDATE ON HOW THOSE FREE RATS WILL BE DISTRIBUTED WHEN PHARMACIES ARE SELLING OUT AS SOON AS THEY GET THEM” or “NO WORD ON WHEN THE SUBMARINE CONTRACT WILL ACTUALLY BE SIGNED” or “STILL NO TIMETABLE FOR THE INTEGRITY COMMISSION”.

I know that a lot of you are expecting me to say something about the tanks and how it’s amazing that we can’t afford RATs but we can spend $3.5 billion on tanks which has gone up from $2.4 billion just halfway through last year. Now, that sounds like a lot of money but it’s nowhere near the amount Scott and friends plan to hand you personally providing you live in one several lucky electorates that were the winners in the polling competition which says that they’re under threat from Labor or an independent.

But I can see what they’re planning with the tanks. We couldn’t afford water bombers but these tanks can be adapted and driven into rough terrain so that they can blast water at any bushfire. Not only that, but with the addition of a periscope they can be just as useful for under sea surveillance as the non-existent submarines.

All things considered, this has been a good week for the government because every day there’s something new to take our minds off whatever it was that social media was so upset about yesterday. Just when it looked like Novak was failing to distract from the lack of RATs, then the lack of supplies in supermarkets took our mind off the fact that Scotty hasn’t actually got his personal photographer to take one of Jen and the girls tucking into his delicious curry… By the way, I understand that Scotty has a new photographer. What was wrong with the old one? Was it something to do with his exposures? Or was it that he clicked at the wrong time?

Whatever, I’m sure that he’ll get a glowing reference and will have no trouble picking something else up in the near future.

Like I always say, you’ve got to hand it to Scotty. Yes, you do. There’s no way he’ll get off his backside and do it for himself!

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11 comments

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  1. John Hanna

    Is that all??

  2. Cath

    Ok I don’t get it

  3. Michael Taylor

    I think Rossleigh accidentally pressed “publish” instead of “save”. I’ve done it myself more than once. ☹️

  4. Michael Taylor

    All is good. I see that Rossleigh is working on it now. But I’m not sure if he’s realised the error. 😁

  5. Terence Mills

    I thought it might have been a deep and profound philosophical statement similar to that of René Descartes

    I think therefore I am

    All beyond me !

  6. New England Cocky

    I like the cartoon heading …. Always Albo is to blame. I wonder whether the 2022 feral elections will also conclude that Albo is to blame for the (hopeful) defeat of the Member for Cook and the Scummo Liarbral Nazional$ COALition misgovernment. It would only be the third time in Australian history and an event that would generate considerable happiness in the Australian electorates.

  7. Michael Taylor

    Terry, I had to do an assignment on Descartes at uni.

    Well, I think I did.

    Descartes was far more interesting a topic than Foucault.

  8. Rossleigh

    Hi everyone,

    Yes, I did hit the publish button accidentally.
    I was in the waiting room for the removal of a skin cancer and on my iPad. I suspect when I was called to the counter I hit publish on the touch screen without meaning to.
    Finished product there now for anyone who’s interested in finding how it all turned out after “I’m…”

  9. Canguro

    Rossleigh… re. “By the way, I understand that Scotty has a new photographer. What was wrong with the old one? Was it something to do with his exposures? Or was it that he clicked at the wrong time?” … perhaps it’s as simple as the photographer developing a taste of conscience or ethical unsettlement… that he was giving his time to this asinine pretender, lipsticking the pig on a daily basis, and that it wasn’t going to end well for him.

  10. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh.

    I’m in awe of how you can just dash off a thing like this so fast!

    Terence,

    I was thinking along the same lines. I was going to write a smarty-pant little thing like, ‘He thinks, therefore he’s’

    I thought better of it, though, because I realised there must have been a whoopsa.

    Michael,

    I have the proud record of having failed 2nd year Philosophy TWICE! In my own defence, I seem to remember that on one of those occasions I didn’t bother to turn up for the exam, and that on neither occasion had I bothered to read the texts.

    The Philosophy Dept. at Monash was on the 9th floor of the ‘Ming Wing’, as I recall – too airy fairy for me!

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