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Forget Housing Affordability. When Is Scott Morrison Going To Do Something About The Avocado Scandal!

It seems that property developer, Tim Gurner, has the answer to the housing affordability crisis: Cut back on your coffee and smashed avocado. Well, that’s what he told “60 Minutes”. When he was saving for his first home, he wasn’t spending money on smashed avocado and “four coffees at $4 each”.

Well, I don’t remember seeing smashed avocado on most menus until recent days, so it’d have been hard for him to find a place serving it. As for coffees at $4 each, well, it was over a decade when he bought his first home, so he’d have to have been pretty stupid to spend that much for a coffee when it was available much more cheaply.

But I’m being pedantic! Mr Gurner is in a great position to give advice because he’s a very wealthy man. His company owns over five thousand apartments and he’s ranked number 157 on The Financial Review’s Rich List. So when he tell us what’s wrong with young people, we should listen:

“You have to start to get realistic about your expectations. There is no question we are at a point now where the expectations of younger people are very, very high.
“They want to eat out every day, they want to travel to Europe every year. This generation is watching the Kardashians and thinking that’s normal. Thinking that owning a Bentley is normal, that owning a BMW is normal.”

He started out small. He was given $34,000 by his grandfather and used that to build his fortune. Well, that, and not spending money on avocados. So for anyone complaining about not being available to afford a house: Get realistic, stop drinking coffee and ask your poppa for $34,000!

Of course, a few of you out there may be thinking that he doesn’t care about housing affordability because – with fewer people in houses – then there’s more people wanting to rent his apartments. Shame on you! That’s the sort of class warfare and politics of envy that the Liberals like to disparage as they cut another billion or so from welfare programs. This man worked hard for his money. Being nice to granddad, then buying up one negatively geared house after another. It’s not easy to do all those inspections. You’re exactly the same sort of people who’ll point out that Scott Morrison’s salary sacrifice plan to save for a house means that someone on a higher income, will get a tax break of twenty-two cents in the dollar while someone on average income will only get fifteen cents in the dollar. Someone on $37,000 will only get a five cent tax break, but people like that won’t be saving for a house – they’ll be putting all their money into their children’s private school fees…

So for those of you purchasing “four coffees at $4 each” while bemoaning your lack of a house deposit, just cut it out. The coffee and the complaining. By saving the money for the coffees, you’ll save $16 a day. At the end of the year, that’ll be $5,840. So after three years… Let’s see, you’ll have about… Well, let’s round it up to $20,000. Yep, assuming a twenty percent deposit, you’ll be able to afford a house worth $100,000.

Mmm, that’s not going to buy you too many houses… Even ones that don’t have a view of the Harbour or the Opera House. In fact, I don’t even know if it’d get you much in Armidale.

All right, the coffee wouldn’t be the only money being put away for a housing deposit. I mean, there is the smashed avocado! And that probably doubles the amount being saved if one assumes that it’s purchased every day of the year. You’d think that someone saving for a house would get sick of the same thing day after day.

Otherwise, all we really need is a drop in the price of smashed avocado and before you know it, all those extravagant hipsters will be able to afford a house.

Of course, there’s nobody struggling to buy a house who doesn’t drink coffee or eat out every day, because that doesn’t fit the narrative. If you even suggested such a thing, then the next thing you know people would be suggesting that the unemployed have trouble finding jobs because there are more applicants than employment opportunities and that it’s not because they’re all on drugs and therefore too lazy to look for work.

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13 comments

  1. Jack Straw

    Obviously Tim Gurner and Bernard Salt drink together at the privileged -White Old Boys Club for wealthy self centred men.

  2. Zathras

    Joe Hockey had it right. Just get a good job that pays very well and it’s sorted.
    Gina Reinhardt managed to build her fortune on top of a massive inheritance so there’s also that option – although Gurner had to struggle with a much smaller hand-out. (I wonder how much houses cost back in those days?)

    Why are so many people so out-of-touch with reality?
    Maybe it’s all that coffee.

  3. Freethinker

    When I read the bit ““They want to eat out every day,” I was thinking for a minute that this was a script by John Cleese.
    I just wonder in which year Tim Gurner have those $34000 and which percentage was it for a deposit for a home..
    I classify this kind of people as a oncovirus in society.

  4. helvityni

    House and apartment prices are so high these days that even the sensible savers who eat their avocados at home will find it hard to buy anything, unless the more cashed up parents come to rescue…

    Luckily most , or many, politicians have more houses than kids, so at least they can give some to their offspring and still have enough left…

    Then again, they are not always the most generous folk in town; I was going to say something about Gina, but realised she’s not a politician.. 🙂

  5. paul walter

    One comment all evening on QA about the hippo in the room- capital gains and negative gearing. Talk about a snow job.

  6. king1394

    I hardly ever buy coffee when I’m out and I don’t know why I don’t have any savings

  7. Freethinker

    Yes king1394, but remember that he said that you do not suppose to eat every day.

  8. Florence nee Fedup

    Seems best investment for super savings is investment in a house. Could the reason be, that houses are over priced because of this investment. Investment producing nothing,

  9. Gangey1959

    When was TG born ?
    As a 20 year old starting work at the end of 79 I was receiving $88 per week at Vulcan, and it was enough to live on and have some left over. With a bit of advice I might have had the sense to save for a house. $34000 would have BOUGHT 2 or 3.
    I hat it when the ”haves”, with way more than any mortal could ever use, preach to the ”have-nots” or ”could use a bit of a hand to get going again” about ”It’s not that hard all you need is”, and then what we should do next.
    Makes me want to feed them their cash. ”One lump or two, mr prime minister?”

  10. rossleighbrisbane

    Tim Gurner isn’t all that old – late thirties. Do it much have been the excellent education at Carey Grammar that enabled him to refrain from all that smashed avocado!

  11. wam

    coffeesmoffee
    drink it you shouldn’t oughter
    if you want a house to set you free
    give up buying water

  12. Milton F

    We collectively allowed the financialization of shelter to become the predominant model and now the wolves of predatory lending and rent-seeking are having a field day at the expense of the next generation. Things might improve if:
    – voters insisted that homes are shelter for families and not shelter from paying taxes;
    – the govt adjusted policies to assist home buyers rather than speculators & money launderers;
    – MSM supported the next generation rather than the 1%ers.

  13. maps directions

    Thanks for sharing your story and the answer of Tim Gurner to the housing affordability crisis

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