When you hear that Scottie’s turning it around, most of you immediately think of boats where, as Immigration Minister, Mr Morrison stopped us hearing about all those drownings of the coast of Australia by turning boats around so that they could drown in Indonesian waters. However, he’s recently done something much more miraculous than that: according to various media reports, he’s turned around the fortunes of the Liberal party.

Now I didn’t read any coverage of Saturday’s preliminary final in “The Australian”, but I imagine it went something like this:

Melbourne’s performance in the 3rd quarter against the West Coast Eagles was truly sensational! They quickly doubled their first half score of 3 points and Melbourne’s top player beat the Eagles best in terms of possessions!#

Why? Well, that’s the way they covered the latest Newspoll. ScoMo, or more accurately ProMo (kudos to whoever came up with that one!) has apparently turned it all around. Ok, given that the poll after the leadership chaos was so low that announcing that you were putting a banker in charge of implementing the recommendations from the Royal Commission into child abuse because bankers are so trustworthy, probably wouldn’t have caused them to sink any lower. But, hey Scott has turned it all around.

He’s fixed the funding wars in Education by appointing Dan Tehan and giving $4.3 billion to the non-government system. It was quite simple really; they just wanted more money. Of course this has led to some asking why the government sector isn’t getting more money. That’s simple. Good education isn’t about more money, it’s about choice. And people who send their kids to Government schools have chosen to do so. If they wanted more spent on their child by the Federal Government, they should have chosen a private school. The money’s been promised to those who educate the children of politicians, the funding wars are over and stop this politics of envy and class warfare.

Speaking of education, our special envoy for Indigenous Affairs recently tweeted from an indigenous school

“It’s so important to have structured learning. Direct Instruction in action at Warruwi school”

I’m really pleased that structured learning is taking place, but I can’t help but wonder if the camera was a distraction which stopped Tony receiving the direct instruction he so desperately needs.

See, there’s another example of Scottie turning things around. Tony, whitesplaining to the indigenous people that they need to learn to speak English. Of course, we can’t have people in remote areas continuing to only speak their native tongue. I’m not sure why. I think it was something about if you’re going to live in this country you’ve got to learn to speak the language that arrived a couple of hundred years ago, not the one you’re ancestors have been speaking for generations.

In case you haven’t worked it out, I’m not so sure that Scottie is really turning things around. I mean, the “daggy dad” image that he’s trying so hard to cultivate doesn’t seem to be well thought out. After all, those of you who have a father or uncle like that, probably love him, but when your friends come over or when you spend more than a few hours at home, you suddenly remember why you moved out. You know, after he explains why you shouldn’t go out dressed like that or how your nose ring is probably the reason you’re unemployed and not the fact that your employer just moved his entire operation to the Philipines. I think that while some may feel a bit of empathy for Scottie “Daggie Dad” Morrison, we certainly don’t want him to live with us.

And let’s face it, how many of us would like to see our fathers Prime Minister?

#I’d like to apologise to any Melbourne supporters who happen to be reading this by mistake because we all know that nobody who barracks for the Demons would be deliberately reading anything on a socialist site like this. Also, I didn’t check the statistics so I don’t know if that suggestion about the Melbourne player is true or not but, in my defence, I was parodying how a Murdoch paper would approach it!