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The end of the LNP cuckold kingdom

It ended in reality with the stepping down – shall we call it “abdication” – of Menzies from the leadership of that cuckold party, to retire to his preferred homeland to be near as possible to that unrequited love of his life; Elizabeth Two, that other love denied the colonial “rough” through geographical fault of birth, condemned to live his last term as Prime Minister dressed like a bad impersonation of a provincial Churchill. I recall pictures of him in the newspapers, heavy overcoats in a sun-drenched country, peering roguishly out from under a fedora of sorts tilted dangerously forward and soft kid-goat gloves for his delicate hands, denied the motherland of his want, denied the love of his heart and denied the image of a great warrior. Thrice denied … thrice a cuckolded king!

And that is where the LNP “kingship” ought to have ended. For Robert Menzies was a one-trick pony and the monarchy of Australia was his only role. He saw himself as “king” of a nation modernising in the image and example of America, with a lot of American capital. He saw himself as a “prince” of a people worshiping his regal command, when in reality they were a people weary of economic depression and battle weary of war – in some cases TWO wars – and were just hungry for peace, peace, peace at any price. And Menzies and the conservative media really gave it to them – in triplicate! – so much “peace” it could be easily confused with death!

Menzies’ LNP, along with the collusion of a heavily biased print-media bludgeoned the populace with scare after scare of “commie this and commie that”. Soviet reds under every bed and in every Union Hall and meeting … spies and agents lurking on every street-corner. You can pick up any newspaper from the fifties and the headlines will ring out with anti-union, anti Soviet, anti-ALP propaganda – especially upon the approaching Vietnam war, where Menzies even outdid himself and committed our troops to that forlorn hope of stopping the “communist dominoes” from collapsing right down to Swanson Street Melbourne. The Kingdom was at risk so the King went to war! Well, not actually himself, but many young men representing him did.

But no, even the Yanks cuckolded him. He had no real command nor control over his own army, so like a regent in a Shakespearean tragedy, he gave his solemn farewell speech and removed himself to be near, temporarily at least, to that “love that did but pass him by”. And he was duly awarded with “Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports”. Yes, ”piss him off to the Kentish coast and leave him there to rot”, was the agreement of the day.

And what followed that “regal presence”, but a motley collection of strugglers with intellect low, like the idiot sons of a base, inbred aristocracy. All of them less than remarkable, less than useful, less than regal. A platoon of poltroons. That is where the LNP “lineage” should have been left to die a “Habsburg” death, but no, the coarse cloth of conspiracy was eagerly donned by the next usurper of the LNP “right to rule” princelings, not for them, denial of what was their right! And with the assistance of a drunken buffoon representative of the always interfering English Crown and his judicial arm of Machiavellian advocates, a “New King” was crowned … out the back entrance, fittingly; the servants’ entrance, to Yarralumla, lurking there like a “stage-door Johnny” at a thespian review, too eager to snatch his tinsel crown.

Another coward from that rank of cowards either drooling idiot-like over the spoils of the nation, or carping enviously over their more courageous opposition. Like jealous ex-lovers, kidnapping the national bride in the hope she will one day love him more. And when again thrice refused, attempts to rape and debase the beauty of that bride; that national psyche … cowards, craven cowards to a person and a disgrace to the nation.

How many years have these frustrated regents spent plotting, planning and scheming with their coven of like-minded cronies in the business world? Troglodyte ghouls making secret deals with the traitors of a foreign media mogul to keep their worthless party in office … and to do that they would almost sell their arse … almost. Well perhaps yes … Yes! … that’s the least they would do, having sold their souls and honour years before. And so they lingered on, like some sort of exiled “pretender to the throne”, drunken fool followed fool in a conga-line of suck’oles until one … a most unlikely one got lucky and voila! A new LNP regent was born!

Fate and fortune smiled upon this weaselly one where otherwise only his mother could. Despised even by his courtiers as a “lying little rodent”, this wannabe King in a fool’s costume rode a wave of economic luck into a decade of calm waters. But here too was the flaw in the glass. Here too was the “warrior inside the little boy” wanting an empire of his own, his mind thrown back to long, quiet afternoons making machine-gun and bomb noises from spittle-flecked lips while maneuvering toy battalions over his counterpane.

So when the sky of New York was blackened with the smoke of attack of 9/11, he saw his moment and swiftly aligned “his kingdom” with his allies to wreak “shock and awe” on a helpless people. The wanton death of tens of thousands of men women and children but water off a duck’s back, for he wore that cloak of cruel weave like a mantle of armour, shielding his weak body from the slights and arrows of United Nations fury. And there in his candy-kingdom of sugar-coated deceit of the masses he poured the ambrosia of rapine and plunder of the nation’s wealth upon his “battlers”, basking in a false glory of self-deluded “royalty”, his only adorers in reality those whose “love” could be purchased with thievery, thuggery or favour.

But he too held a secret – wish eventually fulfilled -for he had been granted what he saw as his greatest achievement, his greatest moment. Not the success of three terms of office, not the legacy of the “gun buy-back”, nor certainly the cruel “stopping the boats” policy. No, his most treasured moment, his triumph of conquest, preserved in the pictorial archives of the stinking Murdoch press, that moment of hand-grasping congratulations from an idiot President of the United States of America, who bestowed upon his frail frame, smiling his now indelible trademark “shit-eating grin” … the hungered for title of “Man of Steel”.

And then not long after, he was voted out of office by a disgusted public, losing his own seat in the process. Cuckolded again!

And here in this space again, like a re-mutated virus, now stands the LNP political party, with no future, a shady past, no heroes save the one long buried in a local bleak cemetery, rather than in his preferred country other than where he was born. No social commitment to the people of their nation, no loyalty except that purchased with borrowed moneys or bestowed favours and no love at all, even to say more disgust and scorn than ever before, the people now keener than ever for a more attentative consort. But in the end we get nothing more than the choice between a drunken lounge Lothario and a political dilettante shaking his tiny, petulant fists at an increasingly uninterested nation.

And well shall we learn that hell hath no fury like a lover many times cuckolded.


38 comments

  1. ranterulze

    Great stuff! Maybe Fraser, as the Black Prince, had some panache and a degree of honour? But then Billy Big Ears, lecher Gorton, jolly old Holt (all the way with LBJ) and on and on. They are not a true political party, just a 2-D front for Murdoch, big multinationals and the comprador bourgeoisie.
    Hope this is widely read and commented on!

  2. seaworks

    The cur was sent to remove the faint hope for Australia by the CIA and no doubt recieved his pieces of silver, much good that it did him.

  3. Jaquix

    Enjoyed reading this article esp.description of Menzies – but he formed the Liberal Party, not LNP which we currently use as shorthand for current Coalition. The only actual LNP is in fact the Qld combined party called Liberal Natonal party.

  4. Möbius Ecko

    Correct Jaquix, which is why some, like me, use the acronym L-NP to distinguish it from the LNP.

  5. Joseph Carli

    Yes..you are both correct..but I’m too lazy to differentiate on what has to be little but a itch and irritation between them…and you’d have to admit that is a line-call as to which is the greater criminal party.

  6. helvityni

    …and there were never any Soviet reds under any beds, as so many believed, but only a travelling salesman or two, or an itinerant farm worker ‘entertaining’ a bored farmers’ wife on a hot summer afternoon when the husband was cutting hay until sunset or recovering at a local pub. Sometimes he came home early and the lover boy had to be hidden in a hurry under the marital bed…

    The only thing red about him was his neck. That’s how the term ‘ redneck’ entered into the Oz vocabulary…or so I was told.

  7. Bob Parker

    LNP, L-NP?. Fascist is the label that fits best.

  8. john ocallaghan

    Your description of Menzies and his bastard Liberal party is spot on!~!~

  9. Peter F

    One of the great ironies of the ‘reds under the bed’ scare campaigns is that it was Communist Party preferences which gave the final seat to Jim Killen in Moreton in 1961. “However, the Coalition was not ensured of a sixth term in government until Jim Killen won Moreton by only 130 votes after receiving 93 vital Communist preferences.” Wikipedia -Moreton

  10. Andrew J. Smith

    Telling image of Howard and Murdoch who both seem to have a chip on their shoulders about ‘Melbourne’ for different reasons.

    Murdoch’s family were not bona fide blue bloods of the establishment with Keith Murdoch being an executive level employee (while owning some other modest newspaper assets) of the Baillieu family controlled Herald & Weekly Times, he was almost bankrupted once and Rupert went to a B list* private school Geelong Grammar (better Melbourne schools were probably wait listed like MCC membership); then past generations Sydney has been Murdoch’s choice. (*don’t tell our mostly pale and male diplomatic corps at DFAT who send their kids to Geelong Grammar for some parental social mobility, networking and opportunity to wear moleskins like the squattocracy).

    Howard became absolutely frustrated trying to become and remain leader of the Liberals in the ’80s and early ’90s while cleaning out ‘wets’ and introducing neo-lib policies while trying to deal with Peacock, Kennett et al.; seemed chaotic while most preferred Labor. Then nativism or race card was wheeled out, the Melbourne IPA became weaponised and Murdoch started supporting Liberals and IPA (like) agenda through his media platforms.

    What legacy have we got? Consolidated media (surely ‘medium’), business policies direct from the IPA (informed by similar think tanks in USA aka AEI and Heritage), WASP* nationalism and nasty nativist tactics that have become normalised through Murdoch media etc. dog whistling allowing less humane policies to pass, impede parliamentary democracy and Australians appearing to be knockoffs of ‘Americans’ with faux patriotism and more looking after number one?

    (* Now a broader definition to include Catholics and Jews vs ‘immigrants’?).

  11. Joseph Carli

    During the 2nd Wwar, there was fear of foreign workers..Here is an account of the arrest of a relative of mine (through marriage) on the most intriguing circumstances.

    Arrest of German Fruit Picker
    Thursday 29 Febuary 1940 The Murray Pioneer
    TAKEN FROM RENMARK BY MILITARY OFFICERS
    Fined £10 in Adelaide Court for Having Unregistered Firearm Stated to Have Thought He Would Be Shot Taken to Adelaide by military officers after a swift arrest in Twenty seventh Street, Renmark, Franz P, a young German admitted, when charged in the police court, that he was the owner of an .unregistered firearm at Renmark on February 21. He was fined £10, with 10/- costs; in default imprisonment for 14 days. The Magistrate (Mr. Muirhead) asked, “Would you like time to pay?” Defendant—I can’t pay. I don’t know how I can. I am interned. . Police officer Crafter said that on February 21 Constable Strauss, Captain Sharland, and Sergeant Hill of the Military Intelligence Department, arrested defendant on the property of a fruit grower at Renmark. He owned a motor car and most of his goods, including his bedding, were found in the back of the vehicle. He had been cooking his meals in a shed. In the car the officers found a Mauser rifle, which defedant had said he had purchased in a shop in Currie Street. He said that he would have registered had he known: that it would have cost him nothing. He had purchased the rifle so that he could shoot rabbits. Inspector Crafter said that it would perhaps prevent complications if defendant were allowed tflaae to pay the fine and costs. The milltary authorities considered that they should not allow P. to go to gaol at present they might perhaps send him to another State If defendant were given time to pay any difficulty in the matter might be prevented.
    The P.M. asked the defendant what time would suit him, and he smilingly replied that it might be seven years or ten years before he could pay It all depends- whether you leave me to stay in this country after the war he said. The magistrate fixed the time for payment at three months. Grower’s Story of’ Arrest Mr. Robert Malcolm, who was badly wounded in the last war, when interviewed together with Mrs, Malcolm this week, said that when P. first Arrived at his Twenty-seventh Street property on February 6 he claimed to be a. Pole and not a German. The man had driven from Tanunda in. his large Moon car alone and was told he could get a job fruit picking later on. He was then shown a shed In which he could live and in which men named Bowden, Jacobs and Nltschke lived. But, said Mr. Malcolm, there appeared something’ strange about the Pole. I noticed that he camped at night in his car and did not seem to care to mix much with the other men working on the block. He told me he came from Tanunda and had been fruit picking there. he was strongly built, and stood about 5 feet 9 inches. He had very black hair and dark eyes, and was well dressed. “On February 18″, said Mr. Malcolm,”He commenced fruit picking for me. He was a fair picker, but I did notice he alw;ays looked worried.” Mrs. Malcolm, who was a war nurse, backed up her husband in this saying, “There was something about the man I could not like. I “always suspected his movements, and frankly I did not care for the man about the place.” Mr. Malcolm then gave a detailed account of the arrest of the “Pole” at his home. He said “About 4 p.m. on Wednesday last week, my wife and I were sitting on the verandah when suddenly a large military car swept through our gate and came right up to the house. Then out jumped Captain Sharland and the others, including M.C. Fisher, of the Renmark police. Capt. Sharland then questioned P., who had been found working on the fruit. “After some questions I. heard P. say to Capt. Sharland, I suppose you are now going to take me away and shoot me?’ ” ‘No’ replied the officer, ‘we do not shoot men like that in this country.’ “Later on I heard P. say, I had better commit suicide’, and was told, ‘you don’t want to scuttle yourself by doing anything like that.'” P., it is stated was allowed to drive his car under escort to Tanunda and” leave it there with a friend of his.
    Mr. Malcolm said that the officers who effected the arrest acted in a very honourable manner towards their prisoner, but of course gave him to understand that there must be no humbug.

  12. Joseph Carli

    Very succinct comment, Andrew…another piece of the jigsaw..thanks.

  13. townsvilleblog

    So many comments to agree with, yet no “like” key!

  14. Andrew J. Smith

    Forgot to mention, the joke used to be and still is true to an extent, that the Victorian Liberals are further to the left of both the NSW Liberals and Labor on social issues.

  15. diannaart

    @ Andrew J Smith

    Excellent point about Victorian Libs (at least the federal ones) – although I suspect, in Howard’s case he has never forgiven Victoria for the Eureka Stockade and Ned Kelly – he was probably there 🙂

    Whereas, Murdoch’s shoulder-chip was covered very succinctly, thank you.

    Both believe Victorians are uppity and need to be kept in line.

  16. Freetasman

    Superb Joe!!

  17. Michael Taylor

    The evil bastard did one good thing in his life. Just one.

    In 1959 an Indigenous Australian, Rupert Maxwell Stuart was found guilty of the rape and murder of a nine year old white girl near Ceduna. Appeals all the way to the High Court and the Privy Council failed. How could they succeed? After all, he had confessed to the crime.

    Or had he?

    Evidence later – decades later – from a linguist (incidentally, my Pitjantjatjara languages lecturer) saw Stuart win his freedom.

    The police, in questioning Stuart, asked; “You didn’t kill the girl, did you?”

    Stuart replied; “Yes”.

    How easy was that? He had confessed. Lock him up and throw the keys away.

    But …

    Aboriginal people use language a bit different to us.

    When Stuart replied; “Yes”, he was actually saying, “Yes, you’re right. I didn’t kill that girl”.

    See the difference?

    A few years ago I was studying the case and was surprised to discover that it was the efforts of a newspaper editor in Adelaide whose tireless campaigning eventually – eventually being the key word – led to Stuart’s freedom.

    That editor was Rupert Murdoch.

    He has done one thing good in his life. Just one, though.

  18. Michael Taylor

    townsvilleblog, we used to have a “like” button but there were objections to it. The consensus at the time was that it was too Facebooky. I see their point. We prefer discussion to buttons.

  19. Wam

    Loved it joseph. Like most laborites I think the dlp was a catholic led disaster and santa maria was an antichrist. Since then catholic private school doctrines have ruled all parties under theeyes of the bishops
    Menzies would be looking over the fence at the catholics wondering why he took their support and let the carp into the pond.
    I liked the pilot as one of the only two honest lnp poliies (chipp) And my intense loathing began with St John, burst out of the bottle with howard and now is obsessive with the rabbott.

  20. lawrencewinder

    Once were assistant managers, now just office boys to the IPA.

  21. Joseph Carli

    ” That editor was Rupert Murdoch.

    He has done one thing good in his life. Just one, though.”
    Fair enough…so we don’t use the dum-dums !

  22. Michael Taylor

    I still think he’s one of the most evil, ruthless pricks on the planet, Joe.

    I just thought it was an interesting story. ?

  23. Kronomex

    And on Rupert’s (screw the Murdoch) spewscrap we have been thinking about –

    http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/gynaecologist-reveals-why-women-should-always-go-without-undies/news-story/1a99a540e49c1b2f905fffb3a8492d84
    and
    http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/hugh-hefners-widow-crystal-harris-left-out-of-will-after-playboy-founder-died/news-story/459caf51d72bee7e826383dd7cdbc658

    Gosh, how didn’t they that’s exactly what I wasn’t thinking about this morning. They’re slipping…

    Murdoch (you know the rest) is the evil vicious..must stop here still feeling ill after seeing the photo of the nasty little troglodyte and his master at the top of the article.

  24. diannaart

    Michael. maybe Murdoch did the right thing for the wrong reasons… he found how very influential he could be.

    That said, I understand what you mean by how language is used by various people, if only Stuart had said, “You are correct”, or “Yes, you’re right”. Did not police take full statements?

  25. Tom0Hawk

    It was Menzies who begged John F.Kennedy to invite Australia into the Vietnam war. Furthering his anti communist rhetoric.

  26. Michael Taylor

    Dianna, from what the lecturer/interpreter told us it was all down to interpretation. At the time of the trial it was all very ethnocentric, but the key was the way in which he ‘confessed’. His denial of the murder (and subsequent appeals) were irrelevant because he had – in their interpretation – already confessed. It took decades for the courts to take ‘language’ into consideration.

    On to Murdoch, maybe he did have an agenda. I hardly think that he knew anything about Aboriginal language back in 1960.

    On another matter, way back then the Police Act outlawed Aboriginal people from ‘mixing’ with white people. An Aboriginal person couldn’t even go to the pictures with a white friend! They couldn’t marry, either.

    In SA in 1959/60 (I can’t remember the exact year) there was a very progressive Attorney General who fought hard – and won – to have certain sections of the Police Act repealed so that whites and blacks could marry or mingle. That Attorney General was a fellow called Don Dunstan.

  27. Joseph Carli

    Thanks for that bit of Police Act info, Michael..I was unaware of it…jeesus!..there were some bastard things back in those days….Don Dunstan, being also a much vilified outsider, was a good person to have on our side.

  28. diannaart

    Thank you for the detailed reply, Michael.

    As Joe noted, Don Dunstan, eh? Always liked him.

    The more I learn about First People, the more I realise how utterly ignorant I and the rest of contemporary Australia is about the past – the past 60,000+ years, that is.

    Teaching language endemic to region in schools starting at primary level would be a great start, apart from the value of being multilingual, children would simply see the Aboriginal culture as a part of, well, everything. Far less divisive. We are only just beginning to appreciate “bush tucker” – grains that require little water could replace introduced species… oh, I dream…

  29. diannaart

    Thank you for link, LOVO

    So much potential there alright and so in-your-face of traditional European methods forced over working WITH the land.

    I guess, Scott Morrison would turn up in parliament with a sheaf of wheat – provided he can find some given the rate of fracking arable land…

    … we do have answers, if not all, but convincing the old (by ‘old’ I mean old in stagnant thought – some people are old are 18). We have our own old fart who rejects anything new (and is homophobic!) name starts with ‘H’ – just reads headings of the many articles others thoughtfully provide and the repeats himself, “I’m right about everything and you’re wrong about everything.” He really missed his calling, should be in the LNP in some capacity…

    just had to rant…

  30. Michael Taylor

    Dianna, I don’t know about the rest of Australia, but in Queensland the Aboriginal kids were not allowed to speak their traditional language during school hours. Probably happened all over the country.

  31. diannaart

    Michael

    Without doing any research, I’m sure there exists a nationwide ban.

  32. bern1509

    I think you’ll find that while Murdoch supported Stuart his editor at the News was Rohan Rivett whom he sacked not many years later. I believe Murdoch was also known as ‘Red Rupert’ when he briefly flirted with Marxism while doing PPE at Oxford a long time ago.

  33. Michael Taylor

    bern, I see you know a bit about a few other things besides cricket (of which I consider myself a bit of a buff … though I reckon you might have the wood on me there).

    Thanks for that info, by the way. I appreciated it. ?

  34. Michael Taylor

    Forgive me for asking, but weren’t you the SANFL’s official historian some years back?

  35. Kaye Lee

    I was born in a small country town in NSW where there was a mission outside town where the Aboriginals lived. We had a theatre in town which had a roped off section down the front for “coloured people” or whatever we were calling them at the time. We owned the local pub. It was before the referendum that actually decided Aborigines were people – they were not allowed in the pub but that didn’t stop us from selling them alcohol through the back door.

    I feel shame about what happened. I was very young and unaware, but I remember. As no doubt, do our First People, who had to struggle to even be recognised as human.

  36. Girlie

    Some of you might recall that Murdoch’s newspaper The Australian supported the election of the ALP in 1972. In 1975 Murdoch had changed tune and ordered his editorial staff to ‘kill’ Whitlam. So maybe Murdoch had latent left leanings early in his life, which might have prompted him to go in to bat for Stewart.

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