One thing about the Liberals: they don’t rely on handouts from the taxpayer. When they lose their seats at election time, they gird their loins and find another job. Eric Hutchinson joins a long line of Liberals who were quickly re-employed after leaving Parliament. Ok, most of them have been re-employed by their former colleagues, but at least they haven’t sat around complaining about being unemployed, which is apparently what the Left want them to do. Labor were quick to complain about Mr Hutchinson being appointed to a job with the Senate President just because the job wasn’t advertised and because no such job had existed until it was created. But then Labor are like that! They complained about all the ex-MPs given jobs by the Turnbull government.
And they complained when Sophie Mirabella was given that job after she lost Indi in 2013. They suggested that she had no experience with submarines. However, I’d like to point out that submarines go under, and she’d just gone under in her electorate so surely that qualifies her. And she demonstrated that it was no fluke by going under again in 2016.
However, it wasn’t the Liberals that inspired me to write today. It was the wonderful performance by Grace Collier on Q and A last night. For those of you who missed it, Ms. Collier told us that the unemployed shouldn’t be reliant on people providing them with jobs. Ms Collier, an Industrial Relations Expert assured us:
“Nobody has an entitlement to a job. Society doesn’t owe you a job. The Government can’t get you a job. The Government shouldn’t have to get you a job. There’s no such thing as Government money. There’s your money and my money.
“Everybody has something that they’re good at … You work out what you’re good at and you try and make a career out of that.”
But when people suggested that their weren’t enough jobs out there, Ms. Collier had all the answers, knocking down these petty objections with:
“People can start their own businesses. It’s terrible, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be awful to have to start your own business because someone else has to give you a job?”
So, inspired by this News Corps columnist, I decided that I’d start my own business. My contract runs out in a couple of months and I don’t want to be unemployed, so I guess I’d better start planning now.
I guess I’ll need get some advice on how to set up a business. I mean, I know that there must still be some rules and regulations – even if the Liberals have been busily eliminating all that nasty red tape that slows things down. I’m pretty sure that I can’t just start a sweat shop in the spare room or run a beer garden in my backyard, but beyond that, what are the laws. I guess I better hire an accountant or get some legal advice. And I suppose that I have to register my business or something.
But that’s ok, I’ve got some money that I can get my hands on. The unemployed, of course, may need to go to a bank and tell them that they had a great idea and could they just borrow a few thousand for set-up costs. The bank should be more than willing to lend it to them if they’ll just put their house up as collateral because, well, they all own a house, don’t they?
Anyway, that’s their problem. Right now we’re dealing with my business. I’ve already got my list of things to do:
- Get advice on how to set up business.
- Hire an office or factory.
- Work out what we’re going to sell or produce.
Given the fact that I’m currently working, I should be able to manage the first two all right, but I’m having a bit of trouble with number three. I’ve eliminated a lot of ideas on the grounds that they’re illegal. I did think that people were sad to see the car industry close, so maybe I could start a factory to manufacture an Australian made car, but then I decided that idea is too obvious and there’s probably lots of unemployed who’ve already thought of that one – particularly those who once worked in the industry and actually have some idea of how an automobile is made. I also thought about mining, but I decided that it might upset the neighbours if I started digging up coal or fracking near the garage, because some of them told me that the supported the mining tax and I’m worried that they might be anti-development.
I need to be more innovative, I told myself. And for a couple of hours, I wracked my brain wondering in what way I could start an innovative business. But then the news came on and I heard Malcolm Turnbull speak.
“That’s it!” I shouted.
I nodded. I’d worked it out. I didn’t have to actually do anything innovative, I just had to start a business and call it “Innovations R Us” and charge people to come into their workplace and tell them that it would be a great idea if they were more innovative and tell them that if they weren’t more innovative then they could lose out in today’s innovative world. I haven’t quite worked out how much to charge yet, but I know that it certainly needs to be a fair bit to cover all the costs of setting up my business.
“Innovations R Us”…
Mm, is that”us” misleading, given it’s only me in the business.
Ah well, when the idea catches on I’ll hire more people… Assuming that they haven’t all started their own businesses. Of course, when I think about it, there should be some ready to work by the time my business takes off, as most of them will be unemployed because, as everyone knows, most businesses fail in the first twelve months.
Well, everyone except Industrial Relations Expert, Grace Collier!
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