Yes, well, I don’t think it’s likely.
But then I thought that John Howard was unelectable. Tony Abbott doubly so.
Therefore, I have to acknowledge the possibility that Trump may be President and it makes me wonder if this is the sort of rhetoric we’ll see when he’s actually in charge and doesn’t have to tone it down because it’s an election year…
My Fellow Americans,
Earlier today, I met with a number of church leaders who have expressed concern about some of my recent statements. Together we examined the Bible and they showed me that Jesus would not have endorsed many of my recent actions.
He would have been appalled by my materialistic obsession, my lack of regard for my fellow human beings and my insistence of meeting violence with violence instead of turning the other cheek.
It saddens me, but I have to acknowledge that maybe I need to change my focus. Instead of concentrating on Muslims and Mexicans, I may have overlooked the fact that Jesus was a bleeding heart terrorist. At this stage, I’m prepared to give God the benefit of the doubt, but unless he hands Jesus over in the next three days, we’ll consider him an illegal alien.
We also make the following demands:
1. God must agree to stop moving in mysterious ways.
2. He must withdraw support for the poor and needy, as it only encourages them.
3. He must agree that when we build the wall on the border that he won’t allow Joshua to blow his trumpet.
In the event of this not being agreed to within the three day deadline we intend to start bombing. Apparently God is omnipresent. This means that he’s everywhere, so it doesn’t matter where we bomb, we’ll be destroying God.
Yep, maybe I’m exaggerating… Although George W. did seem to think that he could stop Osama Bin Laden by bombing a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, so who knows?
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