You may not have noticed it, but one of Cory Bernardi’s motions in the Senate the other day had to do with croissants.
Now, having written satire in the past, it’s often very hard to point out some of the things that the Liberals and ex-Liberals like Bernardi and Hanson have actually done. Many’s the time I’ve done just that, only to have someone comment: “Hilarious! You’ve outdone yourself.” So I feel I need to actually provide a link to the Australian Conservatives site where Bernardi has posted the following:
I give notice that on the next day of sitting, I shall move-
The the Senate notes:
(a) The auspicious date of 15 October 1529 on which the Ottoman Empire’s Siege of Vienna was broken;
(b) that despite the lifting of the Siege of Vienna, violence and oppression against liberal-democracy and other faiths by Islamists has continued into our own time;
(c) the creation of the croissant by the coffee houses of Vienna to celebrate the defeat of the Army of the Crescent; and
That the Senate calls on members and senators to enjoy a croissant with their coffee this week in solidarity with the defenders of liberalism and freedom.
According to some historians, the croissant was made crescent-shaped as an act of religious denigration in order to offend the defeated Turks. Because the crescent has a religious significance, it would be the equivalent of Muslims eating something with a cross on it in order to offend Christians…
Mm, have the shops started stocking hot cross buns yet?
Even with the obvious strangeness of putting a religious symbol on a bun, Bernardi’s motion does seem a little bizarre. We’ve been hearing about all these poor Christian bakers forced to make wedding cakes for same sex weddings, but no consideration has been given to all the poor Islamic bakers forced to make these crescent shape croissants. If that had been Cory’s point then it may have a logical consistency. But to remind everyone about the link between croissants and the Islam and to suggest that we all should devour them in the same week where Parliament is arguing about protecting religious freedoms does seem to risk confusing everyone. If there’s suddenly a petition demanding that croissants be straightened out because it’s offensive to a particular religion, will Cory be supportive?
Ok, I suspect that me even suggesting such a thing risks starting another one of those social media campaigns like the one about a group of Muslims banning Christmas lights in Cardwell. (Didn’t happen, complete fabrication) So let me be clear: as far as I’m aware there are no Muslim bakers refusing to make croissants. However, should such a thing happen, I wonder if the any laws protecting religious freedoms will suddenly be revised.
For the record, the motion attracted the support of Senators Hanson, Gichuhi, and Leyonhjelm, but failed to achieve sufficient backing to get up. Senators will be free to eat whatever snack they want with their coffee.
God, it’s great to live in a free country!