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The Coalition’s economic plan for jobs and growth

The Coalition has a plan.

Cut taxes.

And then what?

That will attract investment which will create jobs and growth.

Investment in what?

Oh all sorts of innovative new things.

Like what?

Have you seen how much we are spending on defence materiel?

Yes, but won’t the vast majority of that $400 billion go to foreign arms manufacturers?

We are building lots of submarines.

How much more will it cost to build the subs here than to just buy them?

Not telling.

How many jobs will that create?

This $50 billion investment will directly sustain around 1,100 Australian jobs and a further 1,700 Australian jobs through the supply chain.

How much assistance did the car manufacturers need to keep manufacturing in Australia?

We are not in the business of propping up failing industries.

How much does the government give to the coal industry each year?

Coal will lift millions of Indians out of poverty.

But aren’t they using their own coal as well as expanding their renewable energy sector?

Look, I think you are forgetting that we are going to cut taxes.

Is that wise when revenue is falling?

Paul Keating did it.

Yes but when he cut company taxes he introduced the capital gains tax at full marginal rates, a comprehensive fringe benefits tax, a tax on company cars and he abolished entertainment as a deduction.

That’s why you can’t trust Labor – they will always introduce new taxes.

Wasn’t the GST a great big new tax on everything?

We took that to an election and besides, businesses can claim back the GST they pay.

But consumers can’t.

Look, we all know that it is businesses that create jobs and growth.

Businesses need customers and, with stagnant wage growth, people have less disposable income.

That’s why we are cutting company taxes so they will employ more people and increase everyone’s wages.

But why would they employ more people if demand hasn’t increased?

We are backing entrepreneurs and startup businesses.

Don’t 90% of startups fail?

Yes, but we learn things from every failure. We are also providing tax incentives to attract more venture capital investment – a 20 per cent tax offset on investments up to $1 million.

But early stage start-ups rarely earn enough money to pay tax.

We are investing in incubators and accelerators.

What’s that mean?

Lots and lots of presentations to clever young people which also provide an excellent photo opportunity.

Have any of those clever young people expressed the need for faster broadband speeds?

Our NBN will be cheaper and, as the Minister for Innovation, Science and Industry Christopher Pyne pointed out, you will be able to watch five full-length movies in the same household if you all want to at the same time.

On that note, we are out of time. Thank you Mr Turnbull.

Before I go, I just want to stress that it is only the Coalition who have a plan to transition the economy by placing as much public money and assets as we can get away with in the hands of private investors.

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  1. Pilot

    Listening to Duelling Banjos at the moment. The Liberals Anthem, backwoods, inbred bunch of lunatics who think the everybody is as dumb and gullible as they are. Seriously they are a disgraceful bunch of yobos hellbent on selling Australia out to their rich greedy mates.
    If Jed Clampett had told the libs he found oil, he wouldn’t have got a penny… Thieving bastards……

  2. Kronomex

    The only economic plan I can see is the huge end of town finding new ways to avoid tax with the tacit approval of their puppets in power. Sure, the LNP will make noises about naughty tax avoiding companies all the while taking the brown envelopes under the counter and digging their snouts ever deeper into public funded feeding trough.

  3. keerti

    given that australians do not learn from their mistakes and keep on returning lieberal governments, it would seem that they are dumb and gullible!

  4. Gangey1959

    And one of ms j bitcop’s concerns about britain leaving the commonwealth, taking their queen and going home was that Australia would be in danger of missing out on yet another fta, this time with europe. Damn. Just no pleasing some people. As Jesus said to the ex-leper.
    I see that voldemurdoch’s dunny rag here in melbourne was bagging out the Green’s plans, saying they would cost us shitloads of money because a lot of people would get work building bike paths and stuff like that, and their plans for ”Revenue Raising” had to be put in inverted commas. I haven’t read anything about the so called ”Revenue Raising”, but I assume it might include closing down some corporate tax loopholes, and other stuff that big business might find a bit distasteful, but it is the Treehuggers we are talking about, and they wouldn’t have a clue about money.
    I was talking to the lads at work about the submarines, and we came to the conclusion that all we need to do when we get them is crew the 3 or 4 we have submariners for, and cut the tops off the others and wait for the water level to rise enough to call them boats, and put normal navy people into them. Trouble is we are ”Stopping the Boats” so we will have to send 16 cut in half submarines back to france. I bet they wont give us back a full refund. Bastards.
    I heard that turdbott was in some factory yesterday talking to some real tradies about ”jobs and growth”. They weren’t very concerned about the growth so much as JOBS. Hmmm. Only half a plan mal? What a shame. And only a week to go.
    Blame Labor. It was their fault that they lost the last election and put you in the position where there is a fair chance you will lose this one. Or end up with a much reduced margin. Or a hung Parliament. And a Senate you have no control over. Whatever happens your arse is grass. Sucks to be you. Caymans or bust. I’d leave now, before young corhesanarsehole and his mates come for their pound of flesh. Have a nice trip.

  5. townsvilleblog

    Kaye, That is the first interview with a tory that I can believe.

  6. townsvilleblog

    Just as an aside I’ve heard from one of my Queensland political boffins that Queenslanders are voting early in numbers 60% more than they ever have. It used to be said if people voted early they were going to throw the government out, let’s hope that’s true. I’m looking for a new Labor government on July 2.

  7. townsvilleblog

    Gangey, I assume “revenue raising” is not on the LNPs list of ‘to do’s’ or they would have collected the $8 bn we went without last financial yaer by not taxing their corporate mates, who they want to give a $48 bn tax cut to, bugger the parasite bastards tax em’ and tax em’ hard!!! We need the money for “our” healthy & education, and to save Medicare.

  8. Jack Russell

    I feel sad for all the “innovation startup” gullibles that will be marching, to the sound of trumpets, cymbals and drums, into large crippling debt so very early in their young lives.

  9. cartoonmick

    One mob wants to take from the rich and give to the poor, whilst the other mob want to take from the poor and give to the rich.

    Bad as it sounds, it sure makes it easy to work out who to vote for.

    We’ve had nothing but a tsunami of policies, promises, spin, misleading comments, lies, , , , and so it goes, on and on and on and . . .

    Just about everyone I speak to is over it. Politics, 24/7 in your face everywhere we turned.

    And it was all of that above which prompted the creation of this short toonamation.

    You may or may not enjoy it, but I’m sure you’ll relate to it ………….


  10. Kaye Lee


    My husband came home from work last night and we sat on the verandah having a wine. I started telling him the latest things that had outraged me….he sighed, got up, and as he walked away, said “a lot of things outrage me”…then went and put Star Trek on the tv. Hard-working people are tired when they get home – they don’t have the energy to be outraged about political shenanigans when every day they face hurdles just existing.

  11. iggy648

    If there are 9 million dwellings in Australia, and 1/3 have home loan debt, that means there are around 3 million mortgages. If the average mortgage is $444,000, then the repayments over 25 years are about $2,500 per month. If negative gearing had been a bit less generous, and the average mortgage was $344,000 instead, the repayments would be about $1940 per month. So the average household would have about $560 per month extra to spend on stuff. Multiply by 3 million, and there’s $1.68 billion per month or about $20 billion per year goin’ round in the economy. Also less suicides.

  12. Vanguard31

    If Bill would tear himself away from Malcolm’s side long enough to notice that a good many voters are not happy with his stand on live animal export or asylum seeker treatment and act accordingly we may have a hope for a benevolent outcome. As things stand, it’s only the greater of the lies that will decide the winner of this election. Only truth is it will not be you or I. There was a time I thought our society had reached a height of civility and care that emcompassed nearly all, but that disappeared with the loss of Gough and Don Dunstan. Now we have only snouts at the trough and as Mr Hacker put it, “some have their front trotters in there too”.

  13. jim

    hey great post Kaye,”Before I go, I just want to stress that it is only the Coalition who have a plan to transition the economy by placing as much public money and assets as we can get away with in the hands of private investors”. This is the reason we get nearly three times as much as Labor in donations from big business corporations this fact alone should tell you that the Liberal party is the one that really does have a plan There has never been a better time to be in the Liberal party of Australia said with ten flags and an American/Liberal government seal.

  14. jim

    Didn’t Mrabbit sack over 300 High tech defense personal? Didn’t the Liberal party endorse not teaching science in schools?. Vote these grubs out put LNP Last every day.

  15. jimhaz

    [One mob wants to take from the rich and give to the poor, whilst the other mob want to take from the poor and give to the rich]

    It would not surprise me if the lack of social advance during the middles ages was the result of “structural trickle down economics”. It for the good of the people that we aristocrats or bishops be so much richer than you serfs – that way we use you pawns to wage wars against each other for our Game of Thrones sake.

  16. johnlord2013

    Are you talking about the plan or the blueprint or the plan. I’m still confused.

  17. Jack Russell

    A line for Bill, if he wants to cut through:

    “Who do you want in government – the Sherriff of Nottingham, or Robin Hood?”

    Even 5-year old kids would understand the implications of that choice.

  18. jimhaz

    cartoonmick – that script would sound good on talkback radio. Liked the ending.

    Even saw Barnaby Joyce on TV the other day bemoaning about having to spruik meaningless weasel words all the time.

  19. totaram

    Jack Russell: I know people working on their start-ups in new and innovative things. Nothing from this govt. except talk. The only benefits they can get is from past govt.s and perhaps even state govt.s in terms of deductions for R&D, which thankfully includes software development. No they won’t be stupid enough to take on shitloads of debt, but they are looking for angel investors. Usually, it means going to China and then the US (surprised? that is one way to work it).
    Australia only invests in crony capitalism: dig some holes in the ground (which you bought cheap) and pull some stuff out. BTW it can be sold cheaply to your Singapore marketing arm, who will then sell it at double the price to make all the profit, on which you will pay reduced Singapore taxes. Australia will get nothing, but is very happy to participate in “wealth creation” for the overlords! This will surely create “jobs and growth” by some magical mechanism, yet to be elucidated, but vouched for by “every credible economist” according to Mr Conmann.

  20. SGB

    I just want to stress that it is only the Coalition who have a plan to transition the economy by placing as much public money and assets as we can get away with in the hands of private investors.

    Brilliant !

  21. Jack Russell

    Thanks totaram. I don’t know anyone involved in a start-up, but I do know that all the brightest minds in this country have had to find support from anywhere but here. That situation has been an annoying me for many years. I commented earlier because I’m finding the latest spruiking from the conmen-not-running-this-country particularly grating and was venting to some extent, and worried that their sparkly package might actually appeal to some young people who are too young to have experienced decades of Liberal behaviour. Perhaps unneccessarily on my part but, well, you know how that goes . . .

  22. wam

    the coalition pollies do not have policies. They have plans. Policies need thought and explanations. Plans are just words without explanation and may be plan A or B.
    for example:
    Medicare is bulkbilling and that is threatened. Not just by gap payments or copayment but for health companies to charge full price from patients and avoid any contact with medicare leaving the patient to deal with medicare. ie money out instantly but back at the pleasure of the government imagine going on thursday pm and risk being short till next monday?
    I received a letter telling me that on next friday, my diabetes plan podiatrist will no longer bulk bill and I will be charged full cost.(why have a health PLAN?????)
    Even worse, they will not charge me the $16.05 gap and then they claim from medicare. No, the office will no longer DEAL with medicare and I pay $69 or go without. When my current doctor leaves I will be charged the full price there ie $85
    $69 not insignificant for anyone, but for those aged pensioners, the $69 cash is a lot of money to disappear from the bank?

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