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33 comments

  1. Michael Taylor

    Best post you’ve ever written, Rossleigh. 😛

  2. paul walter

    I was going to address the issue of the substance of the subject in reference to its presentation but Michael defeated me.

  3. johno

    What the ..

  4. Bella

    Hilarious!

  5. Paul

    Frighteningly true and an ex Prime Minister at that!

  6. Kyran

    Thank you so much for this Mr Brisbane. Although, to be honest, I thought it was going to be a transcript of Mr Abbott’s interview with Mr Riley, where he thoughtfully and intelligently expanded on his ‘Shit Happens’ theorem. Do you remember it?

    http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s3138630.htm

    Anyhoo, thanks again. Would you be interested in a side project? I was thinking of compiling a ‘Compendium for Modern Australia’ to incorporate such insights as this from our current Australian illuminati. In addition to plagiarizing your wonderful exhibit above, there could be a similar thought piece from Clive Palmer – ‘My Great Business Successes’, or Gina Reinhart – ‘Parenting tips that don’t involve lawyers’, or Peter Dutton – ‘My Humour’. Maybe Michaelia Cash – ‘How to Love a Union’, or Kelly O’Dwyer – ‘The Modern Feminist’. How could you possibly go past Matthias Cormann – ‘Speaking without Talking Points’, or his new love interest, Pauline Hanson – ‘My witty Quotable Quotes’? There could be pages of nothing attributed to Malcolm Turnbull – ‘My Taxation Guidelines, cause I’m an Average Aussie’. Not to mention Julie Bishop – ‘A Glorious Foundation for my Foreign Affairs’. There could be pages of nothing attributed to Josh Frydenberg – ‘Things I did for the environment’, although the IPA would want accreditation. They would also want in on Mitch Fifield’s piece – ‘NBN – 15th Century communications for the 21st Century’, not to mention ‘Free Speech and the Spanish Inquisition – our ABC’.
    Not only would it be a best seller, it would be environmentally friendly. Think of all the paper we wouldn’t use.
    Naturally, any suggestions would be most welcome. So, whadayathink? Is it a goer, or is it a goer? It’s winwinwinwinwin. Naturally, there would be free media advertising through the 24/7 news saturation. MSM have been fascinated with the non statements of our illuminati for years now.
    Thankyou Mr Brisbane. Can you get your people to talk to my people? We really should do lunch!
    Take care

  7. Kronomex

    The exhaustive amount of research must have left you shattered and badly in need of rest and recreation. A brilliant article. I’m going to put your name down for the Walkley Award for Journalism.

  8. Aichsv

    Thankyou Rossleigh, An outstanding and may I say, witty piece.

  9. Mick Byron

    Damn it, I went out and bought the book and you publish it free 😀

    Wouldn’t even attempt to categorise this 15 but here you go
    On immigration:

    Tony Abbottt said

    ‘Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.’
    ‘These people aren’t so much seeking asylum, they’re seeking permanent residency. If they were happy with temporary protection visas, then they might be able to argue better that they were asylum seekers’

    On rights at work:

    ‘Bad bosses, like bad fathers and husbands, should be tolerated because they do more good than harm’

    On women:

    ‘The problem with the Australian practice of abortion is that an objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience.’
    ‘I think it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas simply because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons’
    ‘I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman’s right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man’s right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak’
    ‘What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up, every year…’

    On Julia Gillard:

    ‘Gillard won’t lie down and die’

    On climate change:

    ‘Climate change is absolute crap’
    ‘If you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax.’

    On homosexuality:

    ‘I’d probably … I feel a bit threatened’
    ‘If you’d asked me for advice I would have said to have – adopt a sort of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about all of these things…’

    On Indigenous Australia:

    ‘Now, I know that there are some Aboriginal people who aren’t happy with Australia Day. For them it remains Invasion Day. I think a better view is the view of Noel Pearson, who has said that Aboriginal people have much to celebrate in this country’s British Heritage’
    ‘Western civilisation came to this country in 1788 and I’m proud of that…’
    ‘There may not be a great job for them but whatever there is, they just have to do it, and if it’s picking up rubbish around the community, it just has to be done’

  10. Aortic

    Oh come on! What about ” umm arggh look Jesus knew there was a place for everyone, and he also knew it wasn’t everyone’s place to come to Australia.”

  11. Pappinbarra Fox

    In The expression “ummm arrrr” mr Abbott has brought the very summit of his intellectual capacity to bear onto his sweat of blood inducing thought processes. We will not see the like of him again. The breadth of his intellect is gobsmacking.

  12. David Fitzpatrick

    The sort of visceral transport one hears from the pseudo-left, only utterly idefensible

  13. Mick Byron

    David Fitzpatrick
    This panglossian defence by the nutter right fits 😀

    RossleighJune 27, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    Idensible?

    I think that is in version 2 of Abbotts Memorable quotes”

  14. Graeme Henchel

    Concisive yet profoundly revealing.

  15. StephenGB

    I had to read it twice, in case I m8ssed something

  16. Kaye Lee

    Portrait of a Man

    Rossleigh’s exhaustive compendium of Abbott’s insights paint a vivid picture of one man’s vision for Australia. At once, it shows his understanding, his compassion, his devotion to duty, his dreams for the nation and his plan to achieve them.

    A bold work. reminiscent of Malevich’s White on White.

  17. Paul

    Well, after rereading this article several times I’m impressed with the depth of research but do find it a bit long winded.

    Perhaps an abridged version might be in order….

  18. Geoff Andrews

    As usual, youse lefties have all taken him out of context or simply misquoted him.

  19. Alan Nosworthy

    Without a doubt a fine collection of the best thoughts of Miste rabbot. This exemplifies the leadership we wanted from him.

  20. Henry Rodrigues

    Succinct and brilliant in its brevity. How could an unintelligent person say intelligent things.

  21. Bradley Black

    A reasonably accurate summation. A little over generous perhaps.

  22. Rhonda

    Fact

  23. Doug

    Rossleigh, very well written. Who can argue with that?

    Mick Byron, all this from a man who could again be PM of Aus but surely the number of votes his party will lose from women will be enough to put them out gov’t.’

    Doug

  24. Keitha Granville

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha – and so on

  25. johno

    I wonder what the Tones would say about Alexandria

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Will Be The Leading Democrat On Climate Change.
    Ocasio-Cortez outlined plans to transition the United States to a 100 percent renewable energy system by 2035.
    What sets Ocasio-Cortez’s proposal apart is her plan to meet the target by implementing what she called a “Green New Deal,” a federal plan to spur “the investment of trillions of dollars and the creation of millions of high-wage jobs.” Though the slogan harks back to President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s 1930s New Deal program of infrastructure spending and labor reforms, she compared the program she envisions to the tens of billions of dollars spent on armaments manufacturing and the rebuilding of Europe after World War II.
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/ocasio-cortez-climate-change_us_5b3307a5e4b0b5e692f25e18

  26. Egalitarian

    To know Tony is to play misere in every hand.

  27. helvityni

    What is Abbott measuring ( see the picture), is something that short, or that long…?

  28. Repete

    Well researched!

  29. Frank Smith

    Have the Thought Police caught up with me? I see the headline, image and your name Rossleigh and I see the Comments but there is a blank space where the article should be. Tried different devices and different browsers, but they are all the same – something seems to be blocking the article. Today’s Rossleigh article is displaying fine. Anyone else having this problem?

  30. helvityni

    Frank Smith, this is a page of all the clever things Abbot has said. The page is empty! Says it all about him.

  31. Frank Smith

    Thanks helvityni – I can be “thick as a brick” at times particularly where technology is concerned. Very good Rossleigh.

  32. Royce Arriso

    Today’s reading is from the Epistle to the Fallopians, ch.7

    V1. Now these things came about in that remote province called Austraya.
    V2. And in that place, a Simian Primate in a red loincloth hung loose upon the people. And in place of honourable employment, had insinuated itself into the Councils of the Nation.
    V3. In the which, it did broadcast vanities and foolishness without ceasing.
    V4, So that the people did grind their teeth, crying “enough ! This Simian Primate proveth itself replete with solids.”
    V5. Yet rich merchants encouraged the Simian Primate, doing so for their own pecuniary ends.
    V6. Since they cared nought for the good of the province, or for the people.
    V7. And these rich merchants hailed the Primate, saying, “behold, there will be bananas in abundance if you will but regale us with your vanities and foolishness.
    V8. Neither forbear to break things with your ironbound head.”
    V9. So the rich merchants gathered to hear the Simian Primate.
    V10. And the Simian Primate spake as was its wont.
    V 11 Yet of its exhortation, for a wonder, not a parchment or word surviveth.
    V12 For scarcely had the Primate uttered its first words, “uh, look, uh…” when the rich merchants fell into a deep slumber.

    Here endeth the reading……

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