From a very young age, I was always cynical about the wrestling on TV. It seemed to me that it was so obviously contrived.
I mean, you’d have the tag matches where some wrestler with a name like Dead Eye Vampire would be winning, but he’d continue pounding his defenceless opponent, Mighty Freaky, while ignoring the opponent’s partner who’d entered the ring after a tag that Dead Eye somehow missed seeing. Cries of “Look behind you” were ignored, in the style of a pantomime. How could anyone not realise that the tag had taken place and that a new opponent was moving in from behing?
But the past few months have made me wonder. It seems that the Liberal Party are behaving exactly like they’re performing for the Late Night Wrestling. Actually, make that the past four years, but recent events just clinch it.
We have the Liberal Party doing as much as it can to stir up the viewers. Appointments of ex-politicians like Nick Minchin, Peter Costello, and Sophie Mirabella are one thing, but appointing Tim Wilson to the Human Rights Commission is a move clearly designed to get the audience stamping their feet and booing.
Their manager lurks in the background pulling the strings, while the members of Team Liberal and Team National shout out provocations like the referee sucks, and everyone is biased against us. The ABC, for example.
Queen Zodiac even stirred up some of his own supporters by claiming that he didn’t say what the video clearly showed him saying. (Don’t blame me, I used a site called “Pro Wrestling Name Generator”. I typed in Christopher Pyne, and that’s what it came up with. Honestly!) Then, he told everyone that they were stupid and didn’t understand what he said.
“Hulk” Hockey called on GMH to put up or shut up! They promptly shut up shop and left. He then proceeds to claim that everything he does is because of Irksome Pounder (Rudd) and Garrulous Doom (Gillard)
And Team Liberal and Team National keep jumping in the ring to put the boot into Irksome and Garrulous.
But here’s the thing that reminds me of the wrestling.
They seem oblivious to the fact that these two are no longer in the ring, that there are new opponents circling. Sure, there’s been a little bit of trash talk with Bill Shorten’s name, but that’s not what the public want to see.
They don’t want Abbott and company to bang on about how good they are and how bad their opponents were. They don’t want a repeat of last week’s match with an invisible opponent. They want the fresh bout with the new opponent, Major Souljacker (Shorten).
Actually, I suspect what the public really want is for the Government to start behaving like a government, and to stop the theatre. If Souljacker starts to sneak up, I doubt there’ll be many calls of “Look behind you”!