The Election was a Seinfeld Experience

By Maria Millers  Pondering on the results of our recent election it suddenly…

Habits are hard to break. Just ask Scott.

So what did you think would happen when you voted to give…

Would you like a recession with that surplus?

Josh Frydenberg wants to be the first Treasurer to deliver a surplus…

Drilling The Great Barrier Reef For Oil...

One of my pet hates is people who respond to the headline…

A cast of characters: The Monarchy (part 8)

By Dr George Venturini  The United Kingdom has one of the highest rates…

I have a bad feeling about this

Speaking to a business audience in London, our work experience Treasurer Josh…

Breakfast without Barrie

1 The phrase “Back to you Barrie” is synonymous with the ABC…

Are You Truly Free? Bernie's Brilliant Rebranding

In a speech about Democratic Socialism, Senator Bernie Sanders brilliantly redefined the…

«
»
Facebook

Bill Shorten’s Terrible Lies!

Ok, let’s get everything clear. You’re a very, very privileged person and any attempt to create another narrative, I’m going to shoot down because, well, let’s be real here.

Growing up, did you have an indoor toilet? No. Well, did you at least have one that was close to the house? Did it flush? I mean, did you flush all that perfectly good drinking water down the toilet. You lucky bastard! Don’t you know that a large number of the world’s population have to travel miles to get water that you wouldn’t be prepared to use to wash your car…

And that’s another thing. You have a car? Or a telephone? Or a TV? Computer? You rich bastard…

Now let’s pause and acknowledge that almost nobody reading this will be completely exempt from what I said above. Some of you may be able to tell me how hard it was to go outside to that toilet after dark… I know that I needed my Nanna or my mother to go and wait with me until I was a certain age. I don’t know how old I was but I left home at sixteen so I’m pretty sure I’d stopped asking my relatives to check that the spiders hadn’t dragged me in…

Like Bill Shorten, my life is one of privilege and deprivation. This isn’t unusual. And the narrative you choose to tell will depend on the narrative you understood as you were growing up. And yes, I can tell the story of my outdoor loo. And yes, of course, my Nanna and my mum spoiled me by waiting outside when I was too young and scared to go out there by myself.

Of course, as I tell you about my childhood, I am aware that almost nobody will tell me that the particular part of that narrative I have chosen is untrue. Nobody will suggest that I’m “inventing it”. But then I’m not standing for public office and I haven’t told Murdoch to shuffle off and spend your last years with Jerry and just stop trying to control the world.

Nobody checked to see if Jen Morrison really didn’t take medication when she was depressed. Or even if she was really depressed and not just a little sad that she’d been stuck with Scott. Nobody checked when Peter Dutton’s wife said he wasn’t a monster at home.

No, that would have just been wrong. But they decided to trample all over Bill’s memory of his mum.

Forget the politics. What scum these people are! How dare they lecture us about how the “tone” of political debate has been lowered when they’re the ones who lower it at every opportunity.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: “We all born in the gutter, but Rupert Murdoch has made billions by telling us to look at the ones from Fox studios and then go back to the gutter and read my newspapers!”

Like what we do at The AIMN?

You’ll like it even more knowing that your donation will help us to keep up the good fight.

Chuck in a few bucks and see just how far it goes!

Donate Button

31 comments

Login here Register here
  1. New England Cocky

    The wives of Scat Morriscum and Benito Duddo are quite happy living off the process of the Parliamentary Allowances Scheme, thank you very much. Toe two roles would be particularly depressing for any reasonable woman.

  2. Jack Cade

    I am watching the third ‘debate’.
    Morrison’s smirk really irks me. I don’t think
    he even remotely believes most of what he says.

  3. king1394

    Bill should be really pleased that his little anecdote has become a story known by all due to the (typical) incompetence of the Liberals. Now that Bill has had a chance to tell the rest of the story, about how his Mum managed to get herself to University to earn the degree in Law that she dreamed of as a girl, and even to be able to work for a very few years as a Barrister, we can see that his point about opportunity and wealth was well made. Clearly, his mother was typical of the women of the time whose talents went unrecognised due to the limitations posed by an educational system and economic system that placed women as second class. Furthermore, women like her led the way for the women of today to be able to take for granted their right to study, work and raise a family. Bill is rightfully proud of her

  4. Rossleigh

    I’d have to check the ages, but I suspect that it’s all down to Whitlam…
    Ok, he may not have been perfect, but at least when we say “Gough” was responsible for that, it’s not like saying, “We can thank Malcoml for that one”…

  5. Alcibiades

    Yes, thanks to Gough.Yet when she did finally achieve her lifes ambition, including the Supreme court prize, it ultimately was denied her in reality. Why ? As a mature Barrister she could obtain hardly any briefs. She was shut out of the practicing legal profession because (a) she was a woman and (b) because of her age. A brutal kick in the guts re merit, equality & active denial of equal opportunity.

    Brutal.

    Personally, one expects the ‘Kill Bill’ campaign is now dead in the water & staked through the heart, ’twas anyway, and many undecideds(sic) will have a new respect for Shorten as a genuine person not a conjured political caricature. Murdoch & the corporate MSM will be on very thin ice between now and the 18th. Hopefully they’ll continue to shoot ’em selves in the foot as the LNP/IPA propaganda/media arm.

    Having watched tonights debate, with Shouty McShoutyFace continuing his bullying ways and offering essentially nothing as a new government, just more of the same(gasp!), this campaign may well be over with 9 days yet to go … having trouble seeing how the Coalition/Morrison one man show can possibly make up the lost ground. They’re outta bullets & having nothing to say other than, but Labor, Labor, Labor. Ha!

    PS What will be on everyone’s mind or recalled given any coverage of the Coalition campaign launch on … Mother’s Day?!

  6. Kaye Lee

    We had an outdoor toilet that was a can that the dunny carter came and swapped, I think once a week but I’m not sure on that. Oh the memories. If someone left the lid open there would be blow flies and a writhing mass of maggots. Everyone else’s poo and wee was uncomfortably close to your bottom. And there was that really bad time that I left my bike in a bad place and the night carter tripped over it. I was in shitloads of trouble but not as bad as what he went through. And the spiders. I remember getting to the stage where I would walk to the pub to use their flush toilets – I was only a kid and we didn’t have streetlights then so you REALLY tried to get all pooing and weeing done before nighttime. There was a china chamber pot if you’d rather face that than spiders in the dark.

    Sorry….bad flashbacks.

    Whitlam gave us sewerage!!

    The Telegraph gives us sewage.

  7. Kronomex

    Ah, the old outdoor dunny wasn’t too bad. Except in Winter (it could get bloody chilly in Albury)! I’m sure that loo delayed my puberty by months because of the freezing cold weather.

    There was a debate tonight? I’m gathering I didn’t miss much. Back to reading Isaac Asimov’s book Foundation and Empire and the latest Charlie Parker novel “A Book of Bones” by John Connolly.

  8. Miriam English

    We had an outdoor dunny for a long time too. I don’t remember being especially worried about spiders though, but then spiders have never really bothered me. I do remember being concerned about the level of all the poo and wee in the can though, as it got uncomfortably high.

    Horrid what the Murdoch media are trying to do. I’m seeing signs of revulsion even among traditional conservative voters, though there are plenty of others who are irrationally incensed at Labor and Shorten without having any idea why. It makes me want to weep.

    If (when?) Labor gain power they need to break up Murdoch’s media empire in Australia. Murdoch is, by far, the greatest threat to our democracy.

    Kronomex, can’t remember if I mentioned before, but I’ve been consuming Janet Evanovich’s first Stephanie Plum book again (“One for the Money”) — this time as an audiobook while driving to my parents’ place. It makes the drive enjoyable as I chuckle all the way at her loony exploits. (I normally hate driving, so this is a very nice change.)

    Enjoy the good Doctor Asimov. He certainly was one of a kind.

  9. John L

    We had an outdoor dunny ( long drop) in rural New Zealand for a while. I ran a power cable out so it had a light, and the kids would go out there, but, the view across the Canterbury Plains to the snow covered Southern Alps in winter was marvellous, so door open was common. It was almost a pity when we put in a septic tank and indoor loo……

  10. Kaye Lee

    John L,

    You could have just put a seat there…….

  11. Lambert Simnel

    Jack Cade, it was good the way Shorten swiped away charlatan Morrison on downstream costs for environmental inactivity. Good to look at the
    expression on his opponent’s nasty face.

  12. George Millwood

    I remember when my landlady in the Cross, painted the dunny seat and forgot to put up a wet paint sign. It was very painful separating myself from that seat and having to repaint it was insult to injury.

  13. Phil

    Well shoot me t I give a fuck. Shorten would have missed out on the love and bonding process with his father and that has no doubt left mental scars on him or, he could have had a father like mine who I am still suffering into my dotage from, the beatings and both the mental and physical scars. But I for one, do not believe Shorten suffered any poverty to the degree a lot of baby boomers would have suffered growing up just after the war. Shorten is proud of his mother and rightly so, she was fortunate she was born with enough intelligence to lift her self up to a position in society that most of us can only dream of. I want Shorten to win and win well but, I for one am not convinced he is the saviour of the working class. His attitude to those on New Start make me suspicious. That’s all.

  14. Bert

    I too grew up with the little house across the yard and as a little tacker I’d rather put up with constipation than go out there of a night. A dunny cart Kaye Lee? LOOXURY!!! I tells ya LOOXYURY!!!. Dad had to empty ours until I reached an age where the task was passed off to me. Apologies to anyone reading this while having breakfast.

  15. Barry Thompson.

    Had a good chuckle at your bike incident Kaye Lee.
    Reminded me of the saying “flatter than a shit carters hat”.

  16. Rossleigh

    Kaye Lee, apparently “The Daily Telegraph” is running a story claiming that because st some later stage in your life you got sewerage then your story is an Invention.

  17. Keitha Granville

    hahahahahahahaha – love the stories, mind racing back to my childhood at my aunt and uncle’s place. I remember being incredulous that some poor man had to carry that bucket out !!!!

    My dad built our house and we had a septic right from the start – talk about privilege.

    When the government has to resort to personal attacks rather than policy it shows them for what they are.

  18. Kaye Lee

    If we want to talk about inventing stories, let’s start with Scott Morrison.

    On Tuesday Morrison responded to the UN extinction report saying: “We already introduced and passed legislation through the Senate actually dealing with that very issue in the last week of the parliament. We’ve been taking action on that.”

    But no legislation regarding animal conservation or the environment passed in the final week of parliament.

    When asked what the legislation was, the prime minister’s office did not reply. The office of the environment minister, Melissa Price, also did not respond when asked what legislation Morrison was referring to.

    Earlier in January, Morrison’s media office also erroneously identified a different bill as helping the environment. The prime minister had told ABC News Breakfast in January that “environmental legislation … [that] is important for native species” was a priority for his government.

    When asked, Morrison’s staff said he was referring to “the agricultural and veterinary chemicals legislation amendment”. The prime minister’s office later said it had made an error, and Morrison was in fact referring to the industrial chemicals bill and its ban on animal testing.

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/may/09/pms-office-silent-after-apparent-reference-to-environment-bill-that-doesnt-exist

  19. Terence Mills

    You lot had it easy, we didn’t even have a dunny, we had to save it all up for a week and our dad would take us to the community lavatory…..if we were lucky https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

  20. Miriam English

    Kaye, yeah, Morrison’s government did pass legislation regarding life extinction. The error is in thinking they were preventing it; they were instead encouraging it.

  21. Kaye Lee

    Quentin Dempster tweeted yesterday…..

    “Rupert Murdoch owns the Liberal Party of Australia. If ScoMo Coalition is re-elected the piper will have to be paid in return for front page propaganda delivered through News Corp outlets. ABC will be further defunded. Please Australia reject Murdoch and reclaim our democracy.”

  22. Josephus

    Does nobody else find cringeworthy and irrelevant sob stories told by a possible PM about his Mum ? Why should family matters have a place in public life? So Mum was or was not a barrister. Did she have ingrown toenails too? Policies, integrity and other non selfish values alone matter.

  23. Paul Davis

    Scotty the man of action ….

    ‘On Tuesday Morrison responded to the UN extinction report saying: “We already introduced and passed legislation through the Senate actually dealing with that very issue in the last week of the parliament. We’ve been taking action on that.” ‘

    Well of course he did, just like he bolstered funding for the CSIRO’s climate science division, created new habitat corridors for koalas and other threatened species, saved the great barrier reef, banned oil and gas exploration in the Bight, restored the water flows to the Darling, amongst a multitude of other superhuman feats. In fact, if you ask him, he will tell you that you don’t need parliament, you just need Super Scotty and his trusty sidekick the Holy Spirit to run the joint properly.

    What? Are you saying our Dear Leader um err ahem was somewhat um ahem untruthful? Then how come no respectable journalist is talking about it apart from those commies at the Graund and their ilk?

  24. paul walter

    Terrible, isn’t it, when it becomes a crime to love your mum.

  25. Win Jeavons

    I too spent most of my childhood woth outdoor dunnies, chopped up phone books for toilet paper, and the first 10 years with no electricity. It was a great day in my teens when we got a frige instead of ice box. I used to walk extra blocks to save money on tram fare ( at uni) to be able to buy cheap paperback science books. Now I try to live simply in the country, but it is hard when tanks and dam get low. None the less , I owe it to my parents who were not well off, that I got to uni, not so common for girls back then , so my life has been all I could want. Thanks to Whitlam, that I could return in midlife to get a higher degree. Politics is more conservative, more selfish for those coming after , but I hope to see that change !

  26. DrakeN

    Ah!
    The outdoor dunnies and the “nightsoil carters”.
    So many memories.

    Q..”What has 50 pist’ns and flies?”
    A. “The nightcart.”

  27. Aortic

    The dunny cart was known in our neck of the woods as the twenty seven door sedan. The joy of wiping with one of Rupert’s publications though made the privations well worthwhile.

  28. wam

    the desperation of the media is ramping up the dumbing down with such a nasty reference to bill’s mum and now, drastic dutton has been trawled out to switch the arguments from everything but border control.
    Will it work??? Not this time rupert.

  29. Miriam English

    I took my elderly parents to vote today. I thought there would only be a few people there, but it was very busy. I remarked to a woman on how many people were voting today and she said I should have seen it yesterday — queues out the building and around the corner!

    They’ve changed the voting system again. The House of Reps is the same, but the Senate is either 6 numbered boxes above the line or 12 below the line. Annoying. Must have been more than a hundred below the line. I really resent being forced to give votes to people I don’t know and parties I don’t quite approve of. In the end I voted above the line in the way suggested by the Greens’ how-to-vote pamphlet.

    I continue to be appalled by how many people are obviously voting LNP. [sigh] I wonder if those standing for the LNP could get away with literal murder, as Trump claims he could, and still receive vast numbers votes. I guess they can — the deaths of refugees seems not to affect their voting base at all. Likewise the deaths of LGBT kids leaves them unaffected.

    I had thought there was no way the LNP would get back in, but I’m no longer so sure. There are so many brainwashed people… it is scary.

    The corruption among our politicians is very worrying.
    Watch this investigation into political corruption in Australia and the horrifying connections to fossil fuel corporations, most particularly coal:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtKFbXoQ6Q

  30. John Lord

    Everyone seems to be talking a lot of shit here. I also recall the night watchman collecting the cans. We also cut old phone books in half to use as dunny paper. Sewerage stopped 2 miles from the Melbourne GPO.

    I first saw Gough at a rally at the Greensborough Football Club. He came up the drive on the back of a ute strikingly tall with charisma seeming to surround his appearance. I went into the change room to use the loo and Bob Hawke was getting changed. After a brief chat he reappeared speaking for an hour without notes before Gough took his turn.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Return to home page
Scroll Up
%d bloggers like this: