Shorten has begun class warfare!
I know this because I read it in “The Herald-Sun”.
Ok, I didn’t actually get to read more than the headline and the first paragraph, because I was reading over someone else’s shoulder and he shut the paper and said to me, “Do you mind?”
Well, actually I did because I was reading the article and so I pointed out to him that he seemed perfectly happy reading something else on the same page until he realised that I was also reading from the paper, and that if he’d just open the page again, I’d be finished in no time and he could do whatever he liked with the paper.
“I’m not going to do that,” he told me.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because I own the paper!”
Well, he didn’t really look like Rupert Murdoch, but I’ve never seen Rupert in person, so perhaps it was actually him, but I thought it unlikely and so I didn’t follow Bill’s call for class warfare and strike the first blow by assaulting this person claiming to be a newspaper tycoon and encouraging others to make him the first to be lined up against the wall when the revolution comes! I’ve been waiting a number of years for Russell Brand to lead it, but he seemed content with encouraging people not to vote…
Instead I decide that I could probably find the story online. Although Rupert puts most of his stuff behind a pay-wall. He argues that people should pay for quality journalism, but that doesn’t explain why he puts articles in his papers behind a paywall…
And then, of course, I did have to consider which side I wanted to be on when it comes to class warfare.
Actually, I’ve considered that many times and I’ve always thought that it was best to be on the winning side, but I digress.
According to the first paragraph, Bill Shorten has declared class warfare by announcing that he wants to crack down on subsidies to the rich and tax concessions. Well, what’s the point of paying tax if you can’t negative gear property to such an extent that you’re considered a low-income earner and eligible for welfare?
Anyway, I guess you all remember Malcolm Turnbull’s putdown of Bill a few months ago, when he suggested that Shorten was a social climber and he was just a sycophant trying to ingratiate himself to rich people. And I guess you’re all aware of the Liberals’ accusation that the Opposition leader is just a captive of the unions and he’ll do their bidding when becomes PM. Personally, I find putting those two things together rather difficult.
Similarly, when the Murdoch press is suggesting that Shorten is declaring class warfare, I’m not sure whether they expect me to think that he’s declaring war on the poor on behalf of his rich mates or declaring war on the rich because his union bosses demand it… I guess this the problem with not reading more than the first paragraph, but that’s what happens when someone rich enough to buy their own newspaper stops you from reading articles because they don’t understand the way things work in the 21st century!
Whatever, I’m pleased that we now have Peter Dutton in charge of almost everything to do with security. Any day now, I imagine Tony Abbott and Malcolm Turnbull being whisked away and held in a detention centre because they weren’t carrying their passports, leaving Dutts to run the country in the manner that an ex-policeman from Queensland thinks fit.