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“Australians All Let Us Ring Joyce, For He Is Deputy!”

Ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times!

Barnaby Joyce, our Deputy PM, eh?

Well, it just goes to show that if you have great ideas and talent, then politics isn’t the area for you.

I did like the way various people in the media were re-framing Barnaby over the past twenty four hours. Most of it went along the lines of:

“Well, one thing about Barnaby Joyce is that he’s authentic, he responds to things on instinct. What you see is what you get, and we’d be better if there was a lot more of that in politics…”

One could say something similar about Kim Kardashian, apart from the bit about more of that sort of thing in politics. I’m sure nobody believes that we’d be better with more Kardashians in politics.,, Although I may have to stop this comparison now that I remember Donald Trump’s public profile was given a boost through reality TV and this may look strangely prescient when we have the “Kim for President in 2020” campaign.

I’m also wondering why when sportsperson lands in trouble with the police for “acting on his instincts”, there isn’t the same level of praise for their authenticity but that’s another issue.

And, of course, the praise for Barney’s home-spun honesty does raise the question about the “authenticity” of our beloved PM, among others.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but wonder how strangely our democracy works. Let me just remind you that Mr Joyce has become Deputy PM through popular vote. Now, I know that some of you are going to use this as evidence of the failure of our system and you’re going to be getting right behind Russell’s Revolution where the way to change the system is to not vote and wait until Mr Brandt leads the population revolution in between comedy shows and if the health and education systems are trashed in the meantime, well, both parties are bad, so it really doesn’t matter. Personally, I just can’t help wonder how a man who is anti-abortion, anti-climate change action, anti-same sex marriage and anti-just about everything that would win if we had a plebiscite on it, gets to be elected to such a high office.

meme jpg But then we’ve always had interesting relationships with many of the concepts that we respect. Take free speech, for example. I liked the Marriage Alliance’s little meme

No, it’s not a joke. Apparently, people are too intimidated about saying that they’re anti-same sex marriage at work, because so many people will attack them with nasty words like “I disagree” or “But how is this affecting you?”, and, faced with no logical reply, these people suffer stress.

And that’s the thing about the politically correct police, they want to shut down debate. Thank God we’ve got strong men like Archbishop Denis Hart, who when hearing that independent, Cathy McGowan was going to give the Mary McKillop oration on the topic of giving the underprivileged and marginalised a voice, instructed that her speech be cancelled because her views on same sex marriage were against Catholic teachings. That’s the sort of strong action that helps stop those PC people from bullying everyone and stopping anyone from exercising their right to tell others that they don’t have the same rights to marry.

But while on the subject, I was gratified to hear Barnaby Joyce’s views on his relationship with the Liberals and that thankfully it wasn’t a “marriage”. After all, Malcolm is a man – well, in the generic sense of the word – and that would have made it rather difficult for Mr Joyce give his views on same sex marriage. Barnaby informed us:

“We are a business partnership and not a marriage. At certain times the business partners have different views on things but I’m not going to go searching for them.”

Do I infer from that that people in marriages don’t have different views? I expressed this idea to my wife and when I told her that this meant that henceforth she must always agree with me, strangely she had a different view, making me wonder whether, in fact, we were now a business partnership.

Still, I’m looking forward with interest to see if Mr Joyce can fill the void left by Tony Abbott. While the fact that he’s only vice-captain means that we won’t have “captain’s calls” like the decision to bat for the other side (as some have dubbed the knighting of that Duke who’s also a Prince) Bananaby has a with words. OK, it’s often the wrong way, but that’s what makes him that lovable larrikin that achieved world fame with a threat to execute Johnny Depp’s dogs.

Remember when told us how good Tony Abbott was at multitasking:

“He is the man who swims in the surf lifesaving club, while at the same time he writes books.”

I find that even writing in the bath made the paper far too soggy, but, hey, I’m not Tony Abbott.

But I particularly liked the way he stood up to the bias of the ABC with this exchange:

BARNABY JOYCE: Well, Tony, I am not a scientist but I put the challenge back to you: why don’t you have Professor Plimer, Professor Carter, Lord Christopher Monckton on your show?

TONY JONES: Well we have. You’re making a redundant challenge. Because we have had Professor Plymer and Professor Carter on our show. Both of those people have been on Lateline and expressed their views. And we intend to in the future.

 

BARNABY JOYCE: Good, good.

But I think it’s his capacity for self-reflection that is perhaps his strongest point. When speaking on climate change:

BARNABY JOYCE: I never believed the science is settled. If the science was settled, Copernicus would be dead. Sorry, he is dead

Yes, Barnaby will be our acting PM when Malcolm’s taking time off to clean the kisses off his mirror.

I wonder if any of the media outlets will use this photo for any articles about him.

 

Ah, interesting times!

 

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20 comments

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  1. Deidre Zanker

    We need a list of “Barnabyisms” to keep us sane as the govt descends into the macabre. If only we could all write books while swimming in clubrooms!

  2. Sir ScotchMistery

    I still wonder if it was Barnaby I encountered in the YMCA showers back in the 70’s disporting himself around the real men, with whom he was surrounded?

  3. roaminruin

    You wonder how a clown like Joyce can end up as leader of the Nationals? Have you ever met your fellow citizens from the bush? Have you ever listened to their stone age views? We get the politicians we deserve, and the people of New England were outraged at Tony Windsor’s rational, thoughtful rejection of supporting Tony Abbott for PM. They are the people who have subsequently foisted Joyce upon us. Get irritated by Joyce, but get angry at the moronic hayseeds who elected the idiot and who will continue to support him.

  4. kerri

    It always amuses me that those most against same sex marriage belong to a tribe where men wear dresses and carry little burning handbags? Not to mention their penchant for little boys. Maybe Pell’s heart has succumbed to “PC bullying in the workplace”?
    Last week Scott Ludlam questioned Mitch Fifield about a $50m taxpayer donation to Those struggling movie companies Fox and Disney?
    My theory is in anticipation of the rise of Johnny Depp’s dogs “sweaty” nemesis to Deputy PM, Fifield chose to curry favour with Disney?
    Did everyone see the Parliament House Steps pic of the new Government circa 2013 where the red crosses indicate the fallen? It needs updating to include Stuart Robert and I believe there is another “threatened” cabinet member who may lose his career that the press are keeping mum about?

  5. diannaart

    As much as it is hilarious to make fun of someone’s masculinity (or lack thereof), I am more concerned with the power Joyce has been so recently endowed, rather than whether some bloke met him in shower x years ago.

    The handing of power to fools or tools must require constant vigilance.

  6. Florence nee Fedup

    They crowed that Abbott was authentic too. Look where that got us.

  7. cartoonmick

    Brilliant headline, love it !!!!

    Our political future will most likely be as confusing / interesting / frustrating / disappointing / whatever, as it has been in the past.

    Politics, it seems, is a continual “work in progress”, although I do question my own use of the word “progress”.

    In 2016, anything could happen, and probably will, as depicted in this cartoon . . . .

    Editorial / Political

    Cheers
    Mick

  8. diannaart

    Mick

    Your cartoon – ‘funny because it’s true’?

  9. stuff me

    I want to laugh, but I might go and cry and have a scotch or 2. Seriously wacko fed govt… Ross Leigh, spot on as usual, but I’m sorry, you have another 20-30 dills in the LNP to caricature!

  10. Kaye Lee

    There are a lot of disturbing photos of Barnaby but this is the one that should really send a shiver down your spine. Gina’s investment is paying off.

    http://reneweconomy.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/joyce-rinehart.jpg

  11. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    Might I please say that despite our collective disrespect of this photo, poor Gina needs some care considering her personal circumstances, as a bereft widow and sad mother.

    This is NOT an attempt at belittling her for her easy wealth, lost family opportunities and children’s easy advantages,

    It is recognition of how when people shit on the people closest to them, they end up with sleezy slime that pretends to care for them.

  12. Aortic

    I note in another forum one of Barnabys boasts is that he is the only qualified accountant in the Economic Review Committee. If I recall correctly in his short tenure as Oposition Finance Spokesman ( astutely appointed by Abbott) he stated we would never pay off our debt and was punted when he got his millions mixed up with his billions. If that’s the sort of astute thinking he brings to the table, we may be in even more strife than any of us can envisage.

  13. diannaart

    @Jennifer

    Loving your closing line. There is justice after all, perverse and often not even recognised by the ‘victim’ but, nonetheless, a form of justice.

    I always like to think of the over-self-important as winding up, completely helpless, in nursing homes hoping for care from underpaid workers (don’t burst my bubble by pointing out these slime balls will afford private staff – even private care workers have revenge fantasies).

  14. mars08

    A dried-out dog turd is entirely authentic. But also utterly worthless.

  15. Geoff Andrews

    Very few people realise that McCormick, the composer of “Advance Australia” practised occultism, a popular pasttime in the late nineteenth century so it’s not surprising that he built secret messages and predictions into his works; not unlike the old testament that so accurately foretold with exact portents the first coming, for example.
    Barnaby Rudge’s ascendancy to power, it has been foretold, is only temporary. The Nats, aping their older cousins, will unload Barnaby in a fit of concern over falling polls, replacing him with someone with a better cleavage. It will transpire that said replacement will turn out to be an even bigger dingbat than Barnaby. This will induce the population to join with McCormick and sing: Australians all let us re-Joyce.
    Shaggy enough for you?

  16. Aortic

    Probably H.L. menckens quote is also appropriate here. ” for every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong.”

  17. silkworm

    “Authentic” means “is a convincing liar.”

  18. Shortchanged

    Joyce by name, goose by nature.

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