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Attention people of New England – How you can save the farm and make a motza doing it

No, this is not a story about selling water.

And it’s not about coal seam gas.

It’s not about the inland rail.

It’s not about being paid by the government to not cut down trees and to not run stock.

It’s so much easier than any of that.

The bookmakers’ odds for New England are as follows:

Coalition 1.02

Labor 8.00

Independent 16.00

Get together and work out if you prefer Labor or an Independent and, overnight, you could make a motza and all you have to do is vote the right way. (If you are really greedy, you could all vote Greens @ $61 and make a fortune.)

And as a side-benefit, you would get rid of one of the most venal, dissolute, ignorant politicians Australia has had to endure.

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  1. Kerri

    Love it!

  2. Jack Cade

    It is surely an indictment of this nation that any electorate is prepared to be represented by somebody so repellent. Don’t forget, HE is THEM!
    You judge people by the company they keep or, by extension, the person you choose to express your views to the world.

  3. New England Cocky


  4. Kaye Lee

    I hesitate to promote gambling but I think electing Barnaby is the riskiest gamble in town. His loss is one way he could actually create prosperity in his electorate (and share a bit of the wealth of the gambling doyens who profit enormously from misery).

  5. Baby Jewels

    Are those really the odds? What’s wrong with the people in this country?

  6. andy56

    Actually, the people of New England are doing themselves a disservice if Beetrooter gets back. Having a man like him running your business will send you to the wall. He’s only value is as a mouth piece. tells you what you want to hear without actually doing anything
    Scenario 1. Joyce wins, liberals lose. You recon labor is going to go all out in revamping the marray darling plan, meaning more environmental water. How does that sit with your 0 allocation?
    Scenario 2. Joyce wins, liberals win. Kiss goodbye to your lovely farming culture and life style, climate change aint gonna wait for liberals to get their act together. You still get 0 allocation. More water for farmers at great cost to the environment in the short term but self defeating long term. .
    Scenario 3. Joyce loses, liberals lose. Get ready for the review of the Murray-Darling plan. You may still get 0 allocation.
    Scenario4. Joyce loses, liberals win. Kiss goodbye to your lovely farming culture and life style, climate change aint gonna wait for liberals to get their act together. You still get 0 allocation. More water for farmers at great cost to the environment in the short term but self defeating long term. .
    Conclusion, farmers lose if new thinking and new water is not found.

    So in my opinion, farmers who think that they are going to get better allocations are delusional. NEW WATER needs to be found. Waving a magic wand and giving farmers more and more interest free loans cant go on for ever. Scientists are predicting a steady decline in rainfall over the next 50yrs. Pray tell, how the environment and farmers can come out in a win win without MORE WATER.
    Joyce is not the man to lead you guys out of the desert. Dont waste your vote expecting any changes with the incumbent.

    Yea, i have had the criticism that a desal plant feeding the snowy is expensive. Is it more than the $13b for the Murray-darling plan that has made things worse? Is it more expensive than the 5900% increase in the cost of water to the farmers? This is nation building infrustructure or do farmers still want to be seen as small businessmen who are getting a better deal than city businesses? You cant have it both ways if you want progress. Half socialism, socialising the costs, half capitalism, privatizing the profits. Cause thats what it looks like. People on the farm have this mythical aura about them, maybe the truth needs to be explained to them a bit more. The rag trade and manufacturing have been left to rot, farming if anything has been saved by past glories but that wont last if minds dont change and climate change goes on. If Barnaby Joyce wins, mark my words, farming will go backwards.

  7. Kronomex

    Horrible part is that The Beetroot will probably get back in with a reduced percentage. Then he can become the deputy leader of the oppostion and just sit there and stew in his own boiling alcohol enhanced beetroot juice as Labor investigates (please let it be so) his dirty dealings with regards to the Murray-Darling Water scandal.

  8. DrakeN


    I hope that you do realise that the average Aussie punter is so inept at managing their domestic accounts that they are deeper in debt than this flaming government.

    The Average Aussie is a bit thick, and some 49% of the population is of below average intelligence.

    People believe what they want, regardless of – or even despite – facts presenting opposite views.

    At 53% to 47% 2PP it only requires a 3% shift to “equal favourites”, not the false 6% touted by the hopefuls.

    Not that these so-called polls are actually representative since a large portion of the community uses mobile phones, which are not accessed by the ‘pollsters’.

    My particular slant on these matters is that whichever of the major Parties gains power, there will always be a slant towards religious bias and dominance which inevitably limits the rate of progression in any society.

  9. Kaye Lee

    Labor should extend the investigation to the Nationals candidate for Gilmore, Katrina Hodgkinson, who resigned from the NSW parliament a week after the Four Corners program “Pumped” aired citing “length of service”.

  10. Vikingduk

    And here I was thinking the majority of the braindead are here in qld. With relatives in the area I shoulda known better. That the incompetent buffoon is odds on makes me want to scream wake the f#ck up. According to a cafe owner you could run Shawn the sheep as a national and he would be elected. I’m sure Shawn would do a far more competent job. What a sorry place is this nation when the smirking brick is in with a chance, that baaaarnaby is favourite, that this mob of traitors stand a chance. Hopefully the overall betting markets are right and this mob of shits will be shown to the dung pile. The happy clapping mouth from the south praising Palmer for his business skills. For f#ck sake, are we all in danger of barking mad batshit crazy disease?

  11. Henry Rodrigues

    The odds reflect the successful dumbing down of a significant section of the population by the mainstream media, unfortunately that significant section will be instrumental in re-electing the most dissolute undeserving politician, who’ll take it as endorsement of all the dirty deeds he has perpetrated on this country. The people of New England must be as undeserving as he is.

  12. RomeoCharlie29

    Barking mad batshit crazy disease. Love it. It’s just a pity it afflicts such a large portion of the population for much of the time but flares up at election times. Perhaps Bill could announce a grant for research into the disease/affliction/phenomenon to see if it will respond to treatment. A big dose of education would probably help. I wonder how we encourage people to really value the right to vote and get them to think about its importance rather than, as man6 seem to, see it as an imposition.

  13. bob Kavanagh

    Having fairly recently moved to Armidale I am in a state of total perplexity, the overwhelming people I have come into contact with are,open friendly and only too willing to help. They seem to be the absolute opposite of BJ. How the hell does he get so many votes from, on the surface, caring sensible people?

  14. Vikingduk

    I have vague recollections of reading about two Americans who were studying the phenomenon of people voting for candidates that would make their lives harder. As one example showed they interviewed a woman whose son had received the medical attention he required because of Obamacare. She voted for trump. When it was explained to her that trump was intent on scrapping Obamacare she insisted she would still vote trump.

    Barking mad batshit crazy. As are the people of New England. How anyone could vote for this sluggish brute, an excellent example of alcohol related brain disease, another thing devoid of any redeeming qualities masquerading as a human.

  15. Kaye Lee

    Independent Australia have a good article on Barnaby

    “BARNABY JOYCE is not an idiot. He is something far worse. He is a moderately intelligent man who falsely believes he is smarter than everyone else.

    The world is full of these sort of men. It would be easy to dismiss them, except somehow these dolts seem frequently to find a way of weaseling themselves into positions of importance. And once there, their unfathomable self-confidence, combined with their manifest ineptitude, invariably causes chaos and calamity.”,12611

  16. andy56

    DrakeN, yes i know. I wouldnt put a percentage on stupidity but Pavlov’s dogs have the running at about 30%.

    I just dont get the hostilities towards labor as if its 1975 again. F#ck, the liberals have taken us to two f#cking wars since then . Wheres the f#cking long memory there? The dissonance in people’s minds between what we have been through and causes is just so disheartening. I think education in this country is wasted on so many people. Think of the savings, lol.
    Maybe, just maybe, we need a wholesale destruction of the economy before sense takes hold.

  17. Matters Not

    Barnaby delivers big time. Can’t think of any other political representative whose efforts shifted government agencies from Canberra to regional locations which were (are) in serious decline. He really listens to his people. And responds accordingly.

    What’s wrong with that? Barnaby’s efforts are good – just ask the locals.

  18. John Iser (the NSW one)

    Matters Not @ 9:58 PM:

    Yes indeed.

    The Armidale firm PyromaniacsRUs benefitted considerably from the removal of the tiresome Armidale Club (disclosure: I was a member in 2005-6) from the local watered-down-booze-and-yawnworthy-entertainment market prior to their site becoming the new location of the APVMA (Armidale Pyromaniacs and Vicious Morons Association) headquarters.

    Which might explain why the owners, licencees etc of the St Kilda Hotel, a mere two blocks away, were such enthusiastic promoters of Barnacle during the 2017 “my dad was a Kiwi; how was I to know I might have been a dual citizen?” by-election campaign.

  19. Zathras

    Actually Joyce’s relocation of the APVMA was a disaster on several levels.

    In addition to the relocation cost (around $23million) the department lost 20% of it’s scientists and the department’s performance in meeting targets has dropped significantly – only 30 per cent of its crop protection registrations work within statutory time-frames, down from 82 per cent from the September quarter of 2016 plus missing their own deadline for an important review of Chlorpiryos, just to name a couple of examples.

    Overall only 40 staff relocated and around 20% have remained in Canberra and a subsequent senior executive position had been advertised to be located in Canberra rather than Armidale.

    The Senate Finance and Public Administration References Committee concluded that “there is only one obvious driver for the decision, and that is political self interest.” In its excoriating report, tabled in June 2017, the timeline of events that led to the making of the order demonstrated quite clearly that there was no cabinet process; there was no consultation with the parties; and the entire process was run in an ad hoc fashion, against the opposition of the authority itself, of stakeholders and of the agricultural sector.

    It’s just another example of his record of poor judgement and the effect of the water fiasco may have on the Tablelands is yet to be seen.

    Still, there are probably enough rusted-on National supporters left to drag him back over the line.

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