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At least I’m not Jack the Ripper … or Tony Abbott!

The-next-liberal-gov1 I noticed a certain pattern . . .

OK, I’m a little slow, I know that just about everyone else noticed it a long, long time ago. But it just became obvious to me, because . . . well, I’m not always paying attention. I used to pay attention, but Tony Abbott convinced that it was something like the carbon tax and wasn’t worth paying.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that the Liberal Party have this way of avoiding responsibility for anything they’ve done, or haven’t done with this simple catch phrase:

“At least we’re not the Labor Party!”

OK, they don’t always say it so many words. And sometimes they even use things that aren’t the Labor Party on those rare occasions that it’s appropriate to compare themselves to a foreign dictatorship, rather than the Labor Party.

You know the sort of thing, It’s like when some stops you in the street and tells you that they’re not carrying a weapon but they’d like you to hand over your mobile phone and wallet anyway, because they can punch you really, really hard and hey, isn’t it better that they’re doing this in such a nice way, I mean at least they’re not an armed robber!

But I noticed this pattern with the Liberals the other day, when Tony Abbott said that a ratio of sixty percent debt to GDP would be a good result when compared to what the Labor Party would have done. Or rather, when he didn’t say it. Because he assured us all in Parliament that he never said it. Unfortunately, he was cut off before he could explain who it was, who looked so much like the PM that he managed to fool all those media people who filmed him and reported the story.

Still, I guess that the media are easily fooled, so I’m happy to believe that it wasn’t him. But even if it wasn’t, the point remains: “At least we haven’t/aren’t/didn’t/won’t . . . ” Strike out what’s not applicable and fill in the gaps.

Yes, I know that they’ve been doing it even since Fraser was PM. Like I said, I’m a bit slow sometimes . . .

As Fraser and Howard argued at the time: “We know that unemployment and inflation are both twice what they were when Whitlam left office, but that’s because we’re fixing the Oil Shock that was a direct result of the ALP . . . Oh no wait, that’s nothing to do with what happened in Australia when it happened and everything to do with why things haven’t quite gone as we said they would, but trust us, at least we’re not Labor . . . ”

It worked for a few years in the seventies. Then along came Bob. He had a reputation as a fixer. Sort of like Christopher Pyne, except that other people said it about Bob, whereas the only person I’ve heard called Pyne a fixer is Christopher himself.

Of course, I think it should be mandatory for all journalists to stop the politicians speaking at some point and say that we all know the problem, so can you tell us the solution. If the politician says that electing us will solve the problem, we should have legislation that compels a third party to interrupt the journalist and tell the politician that simply changing government or sticking with the current government has failed to fix the following problems:

  1. Health
  2. Drugs
  3. Indigenous issues such as lower life expectancy and higher incarceration rates.
  4. The Cost of Living (arguable)
  5. Politicians raising money by giving access to people who donate to their party. (Except for Joe Hockey. Joe Hockey never did that.)
  6. Work/life balance.
  7. Other (I’m sure this list could grow longer than you’d have time to read if I kept going, so you can just add the one you think I’ve missed)

At this point, the person interrupting the journalist should be given the power to tell the politician that he or she is required to spell out in detail exactly how their coming to power will actually fix things, and until they do – without using slogans or simply asserting “We have a plan” . . . or simply saying that the other side is useless so you have no option but to elect us – they’ll be banned from all further media interviews.

Look, I know that it sounds a bit fascist, but as someone said to me the other day: “FASCISM RULES, OK!!!”

I didn’t argue.

Well, what can you say when somebody speaks in Capitals.

Particularly Canberra. When somebody speaks in that Capital, you have to listen. Because well, there’s not much else to do in Canberra, what with all the job cuts. It’s got so that not even the PM can stay there more than a couple of nights at a time, because even the Lodge is shut . . .

OK, this may not be the most informative post I’ve ever written. Nor the most interesting . . .

But at least I’m not Andrew Bolt.

 

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12 comments

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  1. Phi

    The article made me smile – and it made me sad too – I don’t like Abbott’s Australia – well, let me put that into context – I like physical Australia a whole lot – but I hate the grubby disingenuous small minded illberal ideologues running the nation – and I don’t like big business, in fact I hate the bastards, and especially the Chamber of whatever they call themselves – I think their megaphone is Kate Carnel.

  2. Gilly

    But … but … but … … Oh trust me!

  3. Bronte ALLAN

    I agree with Phi, yes we are in a great nation, but led (if that is the right word!) by this lying, toe rag, flat earth, climate change denying idiot & his stupid conservative, right wing, tea party crones! God help us, & I am not religious! And why do they blame Labor for everything? Because they have no other explanation for all their lies & stuff ups! Bastards! As for the big business, the wealthy mates he has, & all the companies & family trusts etc not paying the taxes they should, well why doesn’t the ATO get stuck into them? Oh that’s right rabbit & his mob have decimated the ATO,

  4. stephentardrew

    Trying to read too much into stupidity and irrationality certainly does weird things to ones brain.

    I have days when I really think that I live on another planet of facts while this mob pepper us with magic, mythology, dogmatism and rampant incoherence in the name of uncommon sense.

    Then I settle down as the pieces fall in place, as frightening as they are, when I eventually come out of the fog and thankfully realise it is not me who is mad.

    Trouble is there is a new press release or policy direction and I again go through the tortured mind-scape of disbelief and gob smacking incredulity.

    Sort of a roller coaster from hell.

    Fits with these masters of Satanic damnation and retribution.

  5. Terry2

    What the PM might have said :

    “Do you really think that the Prime Minister would get such an easy ride with the mainstream media
    if his name was Toni and not Tony ?”

  6. diannaart

    Well stated Terry2

    Makes my skin crawl the way these Libs steal words such as “sustainable” or twist concepts into “intergenerational debt”, while ignoring the real mess we are making of the environment. I doubt Tony et al thought up such terms all by themselves – being mere trained parrots for the vested interests of the obscenely wealthy.

  7. Aortic

    If anyone can clearly articulate where we are on health, education, climate change, budget and a range of other critical issues would they mind letting me know as I am absolutely in the dark trying to ascertain from this incompetent ship of fools.

  8. johnnydadda

    Aortic, you might find some interesting reading on these issues on Bill Mitchell’s blog. Bill Mitchell is a Professor in Economics and Director of the Centre of Full Employment and Equity (CofFEE), at the University of Newcastle. He posts critiques on the failings of the neo-con agenda almost daily at http://bilbo.economicoutlook.net/blog/?p=30503

  9. gangey1959

    Are we alowed to swear on here?
    I mean, REALLY swear? Not just drop the odd F-Bomb, but talk the way some of the older guys used to in the early eighties when I started my first job and went down the pub on my first pay day. They could describe another bloke as a miserable bastard, with 57 words in the middle, and not repeat a single one, and not stop to draw breath. I managed to pick up some of the art-form. Haha.
    I was in hospital for the last few days, and have read a few Herald-Suns. Big mistake.
    Are our leaders really as stupid as they behave?
    How did Labor pass the Data laws. Turnbull is already avoiding observation, and I am sure he is not the only one. I wouldn’t know where to start. I guess I’ll just have to be careful surfing porn. Mind you, I put “intergenerational” into the search bar, and got straight to
    “Tasmanian Family……….” I wonder what pictures are in JoJo’s report?
    Have a good weekend all.
    I’ll try and get over my medication. Or not.

  10. eli nes

    When the attorney general and little billy can commit unannounced millions to a metadata bill to catch crooks that before the vote was taken brandis boldly declared the bill allowed crooks to ‘easily avoid’. You know the government has billions of spare cash.
    It is possible then that the coalition was and is lying about debt? It is possible little billy will apologise, recant and retire?
    ps love the statement, from andrews, that the subs going to japan was labor’s fault. Bill agreed and offered a bipartisan solution?

  11. olddavey

    @gangy1959

    I was at tyre dealer a couple of weeks ago and while waiting for a job to be finished picked up the Herald-Sun to while away a bit of time and had to put it down after about 30 seconds. Not because of the Murdoch propaganda, because that was expected, but because the rest of the content was fatuous tripe.
    Even the sports pages were unreadable.

  12. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    Does that mean if I lived in Canberra, I could speak in CAPITALS all the time?

    To be surrounded by degenerates like Rabid and his sycophants would be enough for anyone to feel like screaming since the LNP Degenerate political machine either lacks the collective brain intensity to see the damage they are doing and/or neglecting to do; or worse, they simply don’t care.

    I shudder to think that it may well be the latter.

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