There’s a rumour going around that Scott Morrison is in Hawaii staying in a Trump hotel with his wife and family, which includes the Hillsong guy who may or may not have been uninvited to the Whitehouse. This has caused some criticism from people who think he should be providing some sort of leadership because there are one or two fires burning round the country.
Now, I could spend a lot of time writing about this, but like Scottie, I never respond to gossip. Actually, at the moment, our PM isn’t responding to anything because he’s on a well-earned break in a place that may or may not be Hawaii. Whatever, I’m right behind the person who pointed out that he hasn’t had a holiday for over six months and that one was only to Fiji. All the rest of his overseas travel was for work and he surely needs a rest after all that water carrying.
Imagine if you only got two overseas holidays a year and it was a whole six months since your last one.
Anyway, there are more important things to worry about than those fires…
Ok, I acknowledge that some of you who are in the path of the fire may think differently but it’s a free country so you have a right to disagree with me… At least you do until the religious discrimination laws get up and I can say that you can’t because my God tells me that I’m right and any disagreement is a breach of my right to tell you that these fires are His punishment for suggesting that I was wrong.
As Chris Kenny told us: the fires are nothing to do with climate change; they’re being caused by the drought… And as we all know, droughts have nothing to do with climate, they’re all about weather, which is different from climate unless it’s a cold day which totally disproves climate change!
Whatever, we have more important things to worry about…
Apparently – according to the Kennyman – “woke, inner-city types” just aren’t celebrating Christmas hard enough. A theme picked up by our Treasurer who is worried that the Budget surplus is being threatened by people’s refusal to spend. Yes, austerity is fine for a government, but not so good for the rest of us. Whatever happened to the idea that we weren’t allowed to celebrate Christmas because it would offend people? Apparently now we’re not only allowed to, but Kenny seems to think it’s compulsory.
I guess I shouldn’t refer to him as “Kenny” because it may remind you of that Shane Jacobson movie about someone dealing with shit all day, and that would be unfair because the character in the film used to wash it off at the end of the day.
Now some of you are probably thinking that I shouldn’t be insulting a respected columnist like this and that I should be answering his arguments. However, writing in the same newspaper, Greg Sheridan is concerned that we don’t insult each other any more. He gives several examples of how people he knew would make jokes at his expense. Some of you may think that there’s a difference between someone in your social group making a joke at your expense and the sort of sexist and racist jokes that are no longer acceptable in polite society. However, that’s probably because you’re not friends with someone like Greg who seems to enjoy abuse.
Maybe you should try and make friends with him by writing to him with one of the following salutations: “You three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave! Or You lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson” While you’re at it, perhaps you could include Chris Kenny with some like: “Hello, you glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue”. And win a government contract by addressing Morrison as “Dear one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.”
Yes, I’m sure you’d all become lifelong buddies.
Still, I know how hard it is being an old white male in these days of political correctness. Nobody listens to you so you just have to resort to writing opinion pieces in Murdoch’s Media about how hard it is to be heard and how, in the good old days – people like you would have had their opinion respected without the need to justify it with a lot of facts and evidence.
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