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As An Old White Male, Nobody Listens To Me But You Can Read My Column…

There’s a rumour going around that Scott Morrison is in Hawaii staying in a Trump hotel with his wife and family, which includes the Hillsong guy who may or may not have been uninvited to the Whitehouse. This has caused some criticism from people who think he should be providing some sort of leadership because there are one or two fires burning round the country.

Now, I could spend a lot of time writing about this, but like Scottie, I never respond to gossip. Actually, at the moment, our PM isn’t responding to anything because he’s on a well-earned break in a place that may or may not be Hawaii. Whatever, I’m right behind the person who pointed out that he hasn’t had a holiday for over six months and that one was only to Fiji. All the rest of his overseas travel was for work and he surely needs a rest after all that water carrying.

Imagine if you only got two overseas holidays a year and it was a whole six months since your last one.

Anyway, there are more important things to worry about than those fires…

Ok, I acknowledge that some of you who are in the path of the fire may think differently but it’s a free country so you have a right to disagree with me… At least you do until the religious discrimination laws get up and I can say that you can’t because my God tells me that I’m right and any disagreement is a breach of my right to tell you that these fires are His punishment for suggesting that I was wrong.

As Chris Kenny told us: the fires are nothing to do with climate change; they’re being caused by the drought… And as we all know, droughts have nothing to do with climate, they’re all about weather, which is different from climate unless it’s a cold day which totally disproves climate change!

Whatever, we have more important things to worry about…

Apparently – according to the Kennyman – “woke, inner-city types” just aren’t celebrating Christmas hard enough. A theme picked up by our Treasurer who is worried that the Budget surplus is being threatened by people’s refusal to spend. Yes, austerity is fine for a government, but not so good for the rest of us. Whatever happened to the idea that we weren’t allowed to celebrate Christmas because it would offend people? Apparently now we’re not only allowed to, but Kenny seems to think it’s compulsory.

I guess I shouldn’t refer to him as “Kenny” because it may remind you of that Shane Jacobson movie about someone dealing with shit all day, and that would be unfair because the character in the film used to wash it off at the end of the day.

Now some of you are probably thinking that I shouldn’t be insulting a respected columnist like this and that I should be answering his arguments. However, writing in the same newspaper, Greg Sheridan is concerned that we don’t insult each other any more. He gives several examples of how people he knew would make jokes at his expense. Some of you may think that there’s a difference between someone in your social group making a joke at your expense and the sort of sexist and racist jokes that are no longer acceptable in polite society. However, that’s probably because you’re not friends with someone like Greg who seems to enjoy abuse.

Maybe you should try and make friends with him by writing to him with one of the following salutations: “You three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave! Or You lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson” While you’re at it, perhaps you could include Chris Kenny with some like: “Hello, you glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue”. And win a government contract by addressing Morrison as “Dear one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch.”

Yes, I’m sure you’d all become lifelong buddies.

Still, I know how hard it is being an old white male in these days of political correctness. Nobody listens to you so you just have to resort to writing opinion pieces in Murdoch’s Media about how hard it is to be heard and how, in the good old days – people like you would have had their opinion respected without the need to justify it with a lot of facts and evidence.

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  1. Sully

    You could call them all Rupert’s private collective of omphaloskepses.

  2. New England Cocky

    I dispute your assertion that Kenny is “respected journalist” because he works in the News Ltd world generating fake news and fascist dogma.

    I can understand people making jokes at the expense of Greg Sheridan, the principal spruiker for Toxic RAbbott for too many years.

    It’s OK Rossleigh, you have an audience of at least one; I read your AIMN articles.

    @Sully: OK, please explain that wonderful word “omphaloskepses” … it is outside the 400 word lexicon of most Queensland national$ Party supporters.

  3. Jack Cade

    Chris Kenny is a twat.
    And as far as Scummo is concerned, my son sent me a pic of Trump standing with Blojob Johnson: im sorry that I don’t know how to forward the pic to AIM, but the caption could be equally applied to a photo of Scummo standing with Trump. It says

    ‘The space between them is called the Perineum.’

    Can’t be bettered…

  4. Jack Cade

    Kenny is as vile a columnist as any.

    As far as Morrison is concerned, my son just sent me a photo of Trump standing alongside Johnson; I am sorry that I don’t know how to forward photos to AIM, but the caption is brilliant, and would be applicable to our own dear PM and Trump; it says


    Can’t be bettered.

  5. Terence Mills

    Chris Kenny has a show on Sky where he pretends to interview people and elicit their opinions.

    What is interesting is that before he asks one of his guests their opinion he imprints his own opinion and then asks them if they agree. If they don’t, he shuts them down quick-smart and moves on.

    Usually his guests (frequently from Newscorp – do they get penalty rates for appearing on Murdoch TV in addition to their day jobs) agree emphatically with what Kenny has proposed which makes him very happy and he ends up calling them mate.

    I am not surprised that David Speers is jumping ship to join the ABC and front Insiders. He has probably realized that there is no futire for a real journalist at Sky.

    It is worth repeating the interchange between Speers and our Defence Minister Linda Reynolds, referenced by Kaye Lee elsewhere : the contrast between Kenny’s echo chamber interviews and those of Speers could not be greater :

    *It was only 9 months ago that David Speers asked Senator Linda Reynolds “Do you agree flexibility in wages and keeping wages at a modest level is a deliberate feature of our economic architecture?”

    An outraged Reynolds quickly replied “No I don’t. No, absolutely not. And for Bill Shorten to even suggest that, I think, shows a fundamental lack of understanding about economics.”

    “Well I’m actually quoting Mathias Cormann, the finance minister, here. Your colleague. He says that wage flexibility is ‘a deliberate feature of our economic architecture,” Speers said.

    “He’s absolutely right,” Ms Reynolds replied.*

  6. Patagonian

    Chris Kenny couldn’t find his arse with his hands, a torch and an assistance dog.

  7. Patagonian

    Terrence Mills – Fran Kelly uses the same tactic. Third rate spruiker for the Lying Naturally Party.

  8. Jack Cade

    Sorry for my double post earlier. I got a message that the first had been rejected and slightly changed it for a second go, but got the same message and just gave up.
    I see that the AFP is appearing alongside Dutton in ads. Dutton’s head has a sheen to it, which puts the lie to the expression that such things cannot be polished.

  9. Phil Pryor

    A team of turds, a slobbery of slimy sluts, a refuge of irresponsible lying leeches, a menagerie of media maggots, that is the Yankee expatriate anuses aggregation of arseholes, the typing turds of tendentious tossery and truth murdering. Murdochery =merde hoaxery. We have never had worse government, media, money thieves, manipulators. And, Murdoch, the Great Unwiped Arsehole remains fragrant, blatant, unrepentant, the boss of a coalition of liars, thieves, loudmouths, louts, fascist frauds, fistf—ers, puerile peanuts, dogshit deviates, imperious idiots, self inflating sods, hopeless harlots of information, distorters and denizens of delirious disinformation.

  10. Sully

    Murdoch’s myrmidons.

  11. Kaye Lee

    “Kenny is a staunchly neo-conservative, anti-progress, anti-worker defender of the status quo. He is an unrelenting apologist for the Liberal Party. He was one of Alexander Downer’s senior advisers at the time of the Iraq War. He’s been known to argue for stubborn, sightless inaction on climate change. He spits at anyone concerned with such trivialities as gender equality, environmental issues or labour rights from his Twitter account on a daily basis. Recently, he characterised criticism of the lack of women in Tony Abbott’s Cabinet as a continuation of the Left’s “gender wars”. He is a regular and fervent participant in The Australian’s numerous ongoing bully campaigns against those who question its editorial practices and ideological biases.” – Liam Kenny, Chris’s son.

    In Defence Of The Chaser’s False Depiction Of My Dad Having Sex With Dog

  12. wam

    Silly old white men have ruled since the gun.
    We actually cannot read because our brain controls what we see Who controls the brain??

    Whether weather wethers climate is tricky for all those who know no concepts of what is happening beyond when god did his creation.
    His project is immutable a,d the climate is always changing because god made it like that.just like the lights green , yellow, red and back to green. Natural round and round.

  13. margcal

    Jack Cade:
    “I see that the AFP is appearing alongside Dutton in ads. Dutton’s head has a sheen to it, which puts the lie to the expression that such things cannot be polished.”

    Well that had me splurting the coffee everywhere!!

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