For those of you who missed it, MT – or our beloved Malcolm, as he likes to calls himself – stood up to the forces of political correctness and wished people a merry Christmas.
You can see it here, if you like.
Of course, if you can’t be bothered, I can sum it up quickly by telling you that he thanked our defence and emergency workers, and like the true leader he is, he didn’t mention his party’s desire to take away their penalty rates because if there’s one thing that shouldn’t be politicised, it’s Christmas and if anybody wishes you “Happy holidays” and not “Merry Christmas”, then report them to Peter Dutton who has the power to send them to Manus Island if they happen to be wandering the streets without a valid passport.
He also told us, “It’s also a very important time to reach out and give a hug to those who aren’t having as happy a Christmas as you might be. You know for whatever reason – they’re lonely, sick, estranged from their families.”
After all, a hug costs nothing. So if they’re sick or something, then just hug them and don’t worry about the giving them any extra support in the form of anything that costs money because we need to make cuts to spending in the Budget or else we won’t be able to give those tax cuts to those who truly deserve extra support in the form of companies. You know, people like Adani and me who have their base in the Cayman Islands…
Of course, we only mean people who are actually IN Australia! Expressing concern for people who’ve attempted to come here by boat is the sort of thing that just encourages people smugglers.
Whatever, it’s Christmas and not the time for petty politics. If you’re poor or in need, consider yourself hugged. Actually, I think, by next year, Turnbull and his mates are prepared to go all the way. Not only will you be hugged, but you’ll be screwed as well!
Boxing Date Update: The quote about giving a hug was actually in an interview and not his actual Christmas message. He only advised us to “reach out” in the recorded message. The “hugging” must have been a moment when he went off-script and may lead to a challenge in the new year with the Corey Bernardi non-faction (“We don’t have factions in the Liberal Party!”) demanding that he stop all that left-wing touchy feely nonsense and Abbott deciding that he needs to launch a challenge before Corey takes all Tony’s supporters to form the new conservative party.
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