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Dear Malcolm, will we ever see the courage of your convictions?

By Kyran O’Dwyer

Dear Prime Minister.

Bearing in mind it’s the ‘silly season’, I thought I would drop you a quick note of sympathy.
Whilst I understand you are no more a prime minister than I am the Queen of Sheba, I must ask a question. At what time does your impotence to effect change outweigh your privilege of being referred to as Prime Minister?

Just have a look at your last few days. The ‘new’ Minister of Health is pursuing the history of her predecessor, in terms of property acquisition. She is likely to be adjudged the next ‘worst health minister’ in terms of performance and one of the upcoming ministers in terms of property owned. Just like her predecessor.

I can only sympathise with you. These incompetents are accumulating wealth by stealth. You had to accumulate yours through privilege. And your undeniable brilliance, of course. Whilst the sources of the accumulation of wealth are slightly different, one can’t help but note that none of the accumulation was due to ability. It’s a tribute to all of you that your disability of wealth and privilege is carried so well.

Having pissed in your pathetic pocket for three paragraphs, I thought that might ‘entitle’ me to ask a few questions about this ‘porter’ bloke. Apparently that’s his name. Defined as “a person employed to carry luggage and other loads” … it’s apparently his nature, as well.
Did you know he was with the WA government before you ‘inherited’ him? I know you have been busy. You may have missed that in your avoidance of ‘spot fires’. Funnily enough, he was both AG and Treasurer of the wonderful state of Western Australia. There seems to be some question as to his ability as Treasurer. According to his ‘Register of Members’ Interests, he and his wife only own two properties. He has, by many accounts, left the state bankrupt. Notwithstanding that scummo can’t bankrupt Australia, how is it that porter is touted as either scummo’s replacement, or yours?

It beggars belief.

At least porter has two properties. By way of recollection, scummo only has one. All are subject to mortgage. Our treasurer and our potential treasurer (or Prime Minister) appear to be worse with money than health ministers. How could you possibly expect either of them to treasure anything else than your faux entitlement?

I don’t know porter’s salary. I know he grabbed at least $400k in expenses between Jan 1 and June 30, 2015, in addition to his salary. How can he possibly have mortgages? It’s not like he pays his own expenses, is it?

Whilst I understand porter ‘changed the rules’ (without reference to parliament) in July, 2016, he did not enunciate the change until his address to the NPC in September. Remember that?

Here’s the thing. This ‘thing’, like most of your ministry, is a nonsense. As a previous state AG he should know about Sect 60 of the Trade Practices Act. That’s the overarching national debt collection guideline, supervised by the ACCC and ASIC. If he doesn’t, you really should dispense of the porter’s services. Debt collectors, as he should know, are regulated by state authoritys.

Part of the ACCC guidelines state, categorically, that you cannot issue a ‘letter of demand’ that replicates a ‘legal document’. Whilst the inclusion of the AFP on the letterhead implies it is a legal document, your government is exempt from any such legislation. The problem is that they send a debt collector after you if you don’t respond to the letter.

Dunn & Bradstreet are the second largest ‘credit reporting agency’, just behind Veda, in Australia. Do you think, Mr P M, for a second, that the porter knows what luggage he is bearing? Did he sign a waiver under the Privacy Act that allows D&B to publish unfounded allegations?

With ‘Probe’, do you think, for a second, Mr P M, that he wasn’t aware that that group of companies are the process servers, by way of contract, to the ATO?

With regard to ARL, do you think, for a second, Mr P M , he was unaware that they were the process servers, by way of contract, prior to ‘Probe’, for the ATO?

Whilst us ‘serf’s’ need to understand your massive intellect, wealth, ability, courage, conviction, et cetera, can I ask a simple question?

We have seen your wealth. We have seen your intellect. We have seen your ability.

Capacities you parade on a regular cycle.

Will we ever see the courage of your convictions?

Please, pass your baggage to the porter. Let us be done with your nonsense.

Have a wonderful New Year. If you no longer want to take a piss, just get off the pot.
It’s not like you need the money. If you get off quick enough, your brilliant ‘career’ can be salvaged by your abdication. Let the porter carry your baggage. It worked for one of your predecessors, Little Johnnie. His porter was tiny.

Have a wonderful New Year. As ‘leader’ of the country you have denied most or your constituents any prospect of a new year. And deprived them of any aspiration for a new year.

Rest assured, you are a ‘grate’ man.

Enjoy your legacy. Remember, there are no pockets in a shroud.



  1. Michelle Petrat

    I must admit, I didn’t read your article yet, but will. Your topic is offending.

    If you don’t understand, that you already have the real Malcolm, then I am almost inclined to call you as naive and blue eyed as all LNP voters.

    He has no strength of character.

    He has no principles.

    He is a weak, calculating, nasty and bordering on the criminal, individual.

    He has no skill, no understanding of technology and no guiding principles.

    All he wants is to be Prime Minister.

    Sorry for the rant

  2. Steve Laing

    Well said.

  3. Michelle Petrat

    Now I have read it and must commend you on your appropriate language regarding this government.

    But please tell me, where/when did you witness his superior intellect, or his abilities (please specify which ones)?

    In the NBN?


    Where is this sharp rhetoric of a Paul Keating?

    Where are his principles? Please nominate them for me.

    He is a spineless waffler. Fizza is the best description I have heard.

  4. Keitha Granville

    Meanwhile back at the ranch, he waffles and fizzes while the country gradually washes out to sea with the sludge from coal mines and fracking.

    To be honest I don’t know how he sleeps at night – he must be aware that he has abandoned all principles, ethics and morality. If he doesn’t, then Lucy must have noticed. The only salve to my soul is that his time in this place is finite, he knows it. He will not be remembered for anything other than his own self agrandissement.

    Happy New Year – just keep on putting one foot in front of the other. This too shall pass.

  5. keerti

    To show the courage of your convictions two things are needed. Courage and convictions. Our impotent PM has neither.

  6. helvityni

    Kyran , enjoyable read, but where are his convictions, his judgement, his emotional/ social intelligence, he might have made a lot of money for himself, but he has not been able to come forward with a credible economic plan for Australia, just some silly talk about jobs and growth…

  7. Phil

    Many a salient point made there Kyran O’Dwyer – skewers the hapless PM and his ‘porter’. I hope there are one or two smart lawyers out there working on the issues raised on the legality of this robo-debt debacle.

  8. Michael

    Which tax payer funded private school and university did this extraordinary individual attend, again?

  9. Florence nee Fedup

    Question that needs to be asked first. Does he have any convictions?

  10. stephentardrew

    On a Roll.

  11. iggy648

    He needs to buy his gonads back from Tony

  12. Kyran

    Thank you for the comments. It is reassuring to know that others think similarly of this masquerade we have the misfortune of calling our government.
    Ms Petrat at 5.38, I should perhaps clarify that I am unable to produce any evidence of his brilliance, intellect or ability. In evidentiary terms, there is nothing (anecdotal, empirical or otherwise) to support such a premise. I made the mistake of citing hearsay evidence as promulgated by MSM. If I have caused offence by repeating a lie as if it were a truth, I can only apologize.
    As to the “sharp rhetoric of a Paul Keating?”, talcum seems merely to be the latest incarnation of “a shiver, looking for a spine to run up”. Goodness knows, there is no evidence, even at a hearsay level, that he has a spine of his own.
    Keerti, helvityni and Florence nee Fedup, with regard to the courage of conviction and his insatiable need for recognition, however undeserved, I am waiting for the day he is offered some accolade by the current monarch, a rite of passage for so many conservative leaders in this country. Will the courage of his ‘republican’ conviction surpass his need to obtain another endorsement for his CV? I suspect not.
    Ms Lee, the other parallel to the WMD word play is the untold damage likely to be suffered by innocent bystanders, targeted solely because of their circumstance.
    Phil, there are many aspects of the process that are troubling. As I understand it, the agency that would investigate any malfeasance on the part of the government is the AFP. Their partnership in the malfeasance is a tad more than concerning. As I understand it, the government (and political party’s, which is another story altogether) are exempted under both ACCC and ASIC legislation.
    As an observation, it may be in the claimants best interests if the matters are being handled by ‘debt collectors’, rather than the agency itself. The agency has been granted powers, since July last year, devoid of any meaningful oversight. If a debt collector is handling the matter, there is oversight.
    Debt collectors in Australia are regulated at a state level and each state has its own regime. If you google “debt collector licensing australia” you can easily find the regime appropriate to your state or territory. In SA, it is administered by Consumer Affairs, in NSW it is the police. In Victoria, debt collectors (commercial agents) were deregulated in 2014. The ‘industry’ has been a mess for decades. The underlying premise in all state legislation is ‘fit and proper person’ criteria, which means that anyone receiving letters from a debt collector/commercial agent has an avenue of protest.
    At a federal level, the governance is overseen by ACCC, ASIC and the Privacy Commissioner. All have good oversight provisions. If the CPSU wished to have every letter sent through a debt collector rather than the agency, they would not be hurting the claimants, in my opinion. The government, on the other hand, would cop more than a ‘black eye’.
    Thank you, AIMN, for the opportunity. Thank you, commenters, for your responses. Take care

  13. paulwalter

    Never mind courage, just few conviction would be ok. Graft, lying, fraud.

  14. Gangey1959

    @ Michelle Petrat.
    Re ”The man is vastly overrated”
    I take exception. The term ”man” implies that our dear prime minister is a male of the human species and as such was born with testicles.
    The current prime minister is not a man.
    Our talcum has clearly displayed on many recent occasions that the testicles that are nominally ”his” reside in a jar, or tea-caddy, or whatever, and are passed into the possession of whomever deems it necessary to take such action. The luvverly g reinehardt, or lord voldemurdoch, or the mad monk, or the collective of religious nut jobs currently running the lnp, (and consequently Australia), are all previous and or current ”holders of the cup”. I would even be fairly sure that bananarby joke had a squeeze over the holiday break just to ensure that his own position as deputy effwit in charge was not under threat.
    As I said. I take exception. Talcum turdbuulshitartist has no balls, and never did, and as such cannot be anything but a f*cking disgrace.
    The sooner the tudbullshitartists are residing in the caymans the better off Australia will be.

  15. Henry Rodrigues

    The latest indignity to be heaped on the Australian people is the report about that obnoxious Belgian who claimed $28000 taking his precious family on holidays to a resort in Broome, while berating poor and sick and unemployed for not doing enough to ease the so-called budget deficit. But he has a great example in his leader who squirrels away his assets in a tax haven.
    Bring on the election please, now if possible. No need for “consistently bad polls”.

  16. 245179

    One hell of a “stretch” looping turnip and convictions in the same sentence. One things for sure, he’s lacking in the groin area.

  17. 245179

    As for that belgium…….smug arrogant prick, when his lips move you just know it’s a lie. ( anybody checked to see if he actually is here legally ) his form to falsify everything, leads me to his request for “citizenship”…… that would be interesting.

  18. helvityni

    245179, the home-grown ones are no better the Belgian, don’t you like foreign born…?

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